Out of Focus

Untitled

2012-01-18T00:56:00.002+05:30

Image by Tamsila Mihai

Sitting on a wooden bench, a pond of blue glimmering in the bright sunlight. Ducks flap their wings, hunting for those breadcrumbs Mrs. Belemy had scattered for them.

The air smells crisp and clean. The sky is a blanket of blue, dotted by white, fluffy clouds. There is a woodpecker on a tree nearby, the silence around punctuated by its constant tek tek tek. The weather is pleasant—not too hot, not too cold. However, a strong gust of wind blow Sarah James’ skirt in the air, much to Nick Patterson’s amusement.

There is green grass, flecked with yellow-orange fallen leaves. Two lovers sit under a tree, their bodies entwined, their lips meeting in soft kisses. At a distance, a family of four set a long pastel sheet on the grass. Johnathon smiles, as his 3-year-old Rickon tugs on his trousers, motioning hims to pull him in his arms. Johnathon obliges, and Rickon gurgles happily.

Ned leans against a bench, a hardbound book in his hand. He adjusts his glasses and flips a page. There is a hint of a smile on his lips. He is reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. He has read the book thrice before. It reminds him of Shelby each time. He pauses for a moment, remembering her red, pouty lips, her pink nipples, those eyes of grey. His pants feel tight all of a sudden. Deftly, he adjusts himself, and continues reading.

Ronald is on the other side of the bench. He takes a sandwich out of his bag and offers you one. It is a robust sandwich—ham, cheese, mayonnaise, and what looks like bits of lettuce. You never really liked mayonnaise. You nod your head no.

There is something about Ronald, but you cannot point out what. There is something wrong. Like a crescendo, it rises in your body, your heart races a little faster. You realise you don’t like Ronald.

Ronald offers you the sandwich again. This time, he pushes it into your hands. This terrifies you, and you want to run away. But you find yourself unable to move. Instead you throw that sandwich into the pond, the ducks immediately flocking towards it. You hear whispers around you.

“She hasn’t eaten in days.”

“What do you think she’s thinking about?”

“I don’t see a way…”

“Lob…”

The voices trail away. They aren’t there anymore. Just Ronald, holding the sandwich, nudging it towards your mouth.

You close your eyes tight, clench your fists. A dog barks in the distance.

You open your eyes. It’s gone. Everything’s gone. No ducks, no benches, no lovers, no books. No Ronald. It’s just you. A white room, a glass of water, a half-eaten pill.

And a sandwich.

The Death of Coherence (1/2)

2011-12-19T01:19:00.000+05:30

There are a few things in life I have suddenly become quite adept at. The first of them involves staring at a blank document, and quite easily filling them up with words that suddenly make sense. Mostly it's just long sentences and fancy words, but I now find it quite easy to write a 500 word piece, in maybe, 15 minutes, tops.

I, of course, attribute it to my job. My job requires I write. It also requires I photograph. But mostly, write. So that's what I do when I receive my monthly assignments. I get the topic, I stare at a blank Word document for roughly 10 minutes, and before I know it, I have already finished about 1/3rd of the assignment.

Distractions abound a plenty. Earlier, my number one distraction was Facebook. But as time passed, and after a billion layout changes, I just grew weary of this website. Of course, I will also give credit to the people on my Facebook for my disinterest in the website. You see, the people on my Facebook are, to put it lightly, moronic. Too put it harshly, they are a bunch of buffoons, and I find retarded monkeys more coherent than they are.

My anger stems from the fact that most of these people just do not know how to spell, or construct a sentence that makes sense. To support my 'bunch of buffoons' theory, I present you with the following proof:

1. wer u made all dis stffs?
2. woz dat???
3. If a "HUG" represents how much "I Love You"... I would Hold "YOU" in My Arms "FOREVER"....♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
4. The mst depressed moment in ur life is nt wen u r sad, its wen u hve lots to tell bt u dnt find tht spl 1 to hear u

By now, I'm sure I've lost whatever reading audience I had. I apologize. But put yourselves in my shoes for a bit. This is what is sprinkled all over my timeline. Every day. It's either insane emo-ness, or grammar, and thereof, that leaves me dumbfounded.

I thought of quitting several times, but social networking is a crutch, and it is very difficult to let go. But most importantly, if I quite Facebook, I would never know my friend's birthday. That shit is important.

Since I could not go on any longer on Facebook, I turned to twitter. But more on that in my next post. Till then, stay pretty.

...Did I die?

2011-11-21T16:14:00.002+05:30

Hi.

We've gone through this before. This is where I tell you I haven't died, I'm still alive, just been neglecting the blog.

I'm sorry, I really am. I just wish I had something to write about. There was a time when I couldn't go a day without blogging. Now it takes me days to think up a topic, and weeks to actually get down to writing them down. I do have ideas, but I just don't know how to execute them. So many blog posts have gone down the drain because I felt they were extremely useless.

Should I just say goodbye, and let you get on with your lives? Is anyone even waiting for another post from me? I don't know. I do know that I miss you all. Extremely.

Till I see y'all again,

Iggy.

30 Days of Me - Day 4

2011-09-13T20:50:00.003+05:30

Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

So here's a photo of my best, and only, friend in the world - R. I've hidden her face cause she isn't to fond of being in the public eye, quite unlike me.

In fact, there is very little R and I have in common. She likes music that makes me cringe, I like music things that make her go WTF. We abuse each other, and share our love for alcohol quite equally. When we are hanging out, you will almost always find us laughing the loudest, telling the crudest stories.

I love R because she gets me like no one else in this world. I can be myself, speak my mind, even fight with her, and she's always going to be by my side. We have had our share of problems, but we've always bounced back from them. Cause we cool like.

Right now, both of us are caught up terribly with work, and find it really hard to keep in touch. But we've never been that 'OMG YOU FORGOT ME!' sort. We cool.

So, so cool.

P.S. Yes, we were both horribly drunk in this photograph. *hic*

30 Days of Me - Day 3

2011-09-12T21:29:00.002+05:30

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.

The reason it took me this long to get to this post is, because, I really had to think about it. First dates hold such significance, and to tell you the truth, I have never given this a lot of thought. I am, and always have been, an 'in-the-moment' sort of person, and I enjoy spontaneity.

Regardless, I thought about it, and if my potential future first date is reading this, here's what I would like you to do.

1. Call me up at 4 in the morning. Ask me how I am. Get me confused. Ask me out. I am most likely to say yes.

2. Take me to a place I have never been before. Take me to a place where there are a lot of things, of different kinds.

3. Let me get a chance to know you. Talk to me about your favourite book. Engage in banter.

4. Take me to coffee. Don't speak to me when the food arrives, but look at me.

5. Smile like you mean it. Tell me I am beautiful. Watch me change into 9 different shades of red.

6. Drop me home. Don't expect a kiss. But if I lean in for one, don't hesitate and kiss me.

And that's it. Such a low-maintenance girl I am.

Future date, you don't have to follow this list to the T.

Remember, I like surprises.

30 Days of Me - Day 2

2011-09-04T02:59:00.003+05:30

Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.

So here's what I had for dinner today: A Sausage Sizzler. For some reason, I love pronouncing sausage as soo-saa-shuh. I also calls spoons 'shpauns', knives 'knofs' and forks 'fwakes'. Mornonic little quirks like these make the world a better place to live in, I think.

Anyway, so this monstrosity before you is the above-mentioned sizzler. 6 pieces of sausages on a bed of mashed potatoes, french fries and spinach. How glorious. Also, the food was super hot, and I managed to burn my throat, of all places. But the pain was worth it, because the food was good.

And that's it!

30 Days of Me - Day 1

2011-09-03T00:43:00.003+05:30

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was

I look nothing like this in reality

So here we are, Day 1 of the 30 days of me challenge. As asked, here is a picture of me. I am not very fond of sharing what I look like to the public domain, but since it's a challenge, why not have some fun with it, eh?

Today was one of those days when I was returning back to work after a two-day holiday. You know that intense laziness that settles in your bones? That is how I felt, waking up to my alarm clock ringing in my ear. When the initial laziness settles in, then strikes the realisation that I have to wake up and go to work. Yawn.

Not that I don't enjoy work. It's just that a holiday means a lot more to a person who doesn't get many.

After that, my day has been pretty much regular. Slept in the bus. Slept in the train. Completed a few pending things at work and then sat there, twiddling my thumbs, thinking about life. For some time now, an intense amount of sadness has fallen over me, like this heavy quilt that just won't let go. When I get these bouts of sadness, I can physically feel my heart sinking to my stomach and I feel this need to cry.

But I don't. I am quite comfortable with this facade of a happy person I have created for myself.

After that I accompanied a friend to a hyper market, because she wanted to buy some groceries. While she went on a cheese rampage, I looked around for things I could buy. I bought some cheese sausages, smoked chicken salami, french fries, pringles, tic tacs, amongst other things. It was fun.

Sometimes I think shopping is the only thing that makes me happy.

Then I returned home. Ate some dinner, and here I am typing this out. Not a bad day, indeed.

If you want to take up this challenge yourself, click HERE.

For the original post, click HERE.

30 Days of Me! Reposting

2011-09-01T19:03:00.000+05:30

So I was just going through this wonderful blog: http://punkpolkadots.wordpress.com and I came across this challenge, which asks you to dedicatedly post random snippets about yourself for 30 days. And I decided to take up the challenge. Hopefully, this is incentive enough for me to get back to writing on a regular basis. Here are the rules, as stated on the blog!

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favourite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag.
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days

If you want to do this challenge with me, let me know. Also let the original blog poster know! I'm going to start this from tomorrow. You?

I'm everywhere

2011-08-28T23:35:00.003+05:30

Oh hello, fellow bloggers *waves*

Here is where I'll admit - I'm the laziest blogger alive.

Probably the shittiest blogger alive too.

I have about 20 posts lying incomplete, in cold storage, and I find it highly doubtful if I will ever complete them.

I used to be quite frequent with the whole blogging scene, but then something happened.

You know what happened?

Twitter.

And Tumblr.

I find it very difficult to write a cohesive post, when these two websites eat into all my time, and that is excluding the time I am at work, you know, working.

So here's a proposition: If you liked this blog, which is clearly dying, why not give my twitter and tumblr a chance too? I'm twice as funny and awesome there, believe me.

My twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/supaarwoman

My tumblr: http://supaarwoman.tumblr.com/ (This can get a little NSFW sometimes, but hey, we're all pretty much NSFW)

I'm not saying I'm killing this blog, this is very much here.

I just don't know when I will update next.

I love you all a bit too much.

Bye!

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara—Reviewed!

2011-07-23T19:36:00.002+05:30

Mili?

So I saw Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (ZNMD) today. If you're expecting me to go on about the value of life and how you must live each day as your last, I'm sorry, that's just not happening. Not right now, at least. I mean I do give spiels about life and how you must cherish it from time to time, but this movie didn't really make me go "OMG I GOTTA DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE!!!1!!!!1111"

After viewing the trailors and listening to the music from the movie, I knew that this movie will garner either of the two reactions from me—absolute hate or absolute love. Absolute hate because I am not really a big Hrithik Roshan fan. Ever since Dhoom 2, I've cringed each time he has opened his mouth to speak, specially in English, with that horrid accent (hey, he even pronounces his name Row-shun and not Raw-shun! Oh well...). In fact, I don't think I have even seen a Hrithik Roshan movie post Dhoom 2.

Absolute love because, well, Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy made me fall in love with the music of this movie. Each track is quite hummable, especially Khwabon ke Parinday and Señorita. Also, the cinematography and the colour scheme of the movie (Quite The Hangover-ish, by the way) looked like a very promising premise. I still went to the movie with a clear and open mind, and decided to judge the movie only once it ended.

I won't spoil the movie for you guys, but the only thing I got out of the viewing experience was the fact that I want, nay, need, to go to Spain. What a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious place! I have been wanting to go there ever since I witnessed my beautiful La Furia Roja defeat The Netherlanders in the FIFA World Cup 2010, and ZNMD just gave me a bonus incentive of sorts. I have even prepared a 'Spain ka Dabba', where part of my salary will go towards saving up for a trip there! Kudos to you, Carlos Catalan, for that fabulous cinematography. The beautiful locales of Spain were made even more breathtaking, thanks to your camerawork. My favourite was how the La Tomatina festival at Buñol was shot. Beautiful.

The editing was great too, specially during the high-adrenaline scenes. Anand Subaya, I swear my heart was in my mouth during the sky diving scene in Seville. Wow, really. And the bull run at Pamplona. Phew. Neato Burrito!

Now, to the acting. Abhay Deol, what is up with that gay demeanour of yours? Not that I have a problem with homosexuals, but were you playing one in the movie? What happened? Apart from that, I like you. Really. I thought you were quite believable. Farhan Akhtar... that voice. Urgh. Like a frog mating with a cheese-grater. The cherry on top of this rancid cake is getting him to read out those poems on a regular interval through the movie. Good idea Zoya Akhtar. Not.

Hrithik left me pleasantly surprised. As mentioned above, not really a fan, but he got through the movie without annoying me once. No accent, not trying too hard, quite sweet, really. Katrina Kaif is beautiful, Kalki Koechlin needs braces, but yeah, overall, good stuff.

I believe the purpose of this movie relates to the title - Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. For me, the purpose was defeated. I got more 'I need to do something with my life' out of The Bucket List (the 2008 comedy-drama starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman) than I did with ZNMD.

So if you ask me how I liked the movie, I'd just go "Meh."

Go ahead, ask me!

Side note: Did you know that Katrina Kaif's introduction scene was shot on a nude beach? She wasn't naked, of course (did I just hear a de-boner?), but I wonder how shooting went that day.

Side Side note: At the theater, during the interval: Mom - "Bobby Deol ki acting kitni achchi hai." (referring to Abhay Deol). Me - "Haan, lekin mujhe Javed Akhtar ki acting achchi nahi lagi."

Do You Remember?

2011-06-24T16:27:00.002+05:30

The heart-shaped bed,

and the heart-shaped pillows.

Satiny, silky sheets,

That gave me goosebumps.

Old, dusty curtains,

But beautiful light

Streaming through

As you touched my skin.

Your hands

Your body

Your face

Your lips

On mine.

The taste of oranges

lingering on your tongue

Transferring the taste

Back to mine.

Sweet sorry

and bitter medicines

And sad lessons

Yet, life just goes on.

The End.

Letter to an Ex

2011-06-16T18:47:00.002+05:30

I had a dream last night that I had come to Dubai to meet you. You were there, I was there. We spoke for about 10 minutes, when your really large family barged in and you acted as if you did not know me. But your family members knew me. Some girls started to be really bitchy with me and even accused me of stealing something, which I had not. Then you disappeared, and I decided I had to get out of here and go back home.

I looked into my purse to see how much money I had for an air ticket back home, and it turned out I was flat broke. I could not call home, because my parents did not know that I had come to Dubai. I started roaming the streets, very worried. Then I saw you were lying in a puddle of water, and there was no one around you. I came over and I helped you.

The next day, there was a large table where everyone was eating, and you sat next to me. I whispered to you that I needed some money to go back home, and I promise I will pay you back once I'm back home. You weren't paying attention, and I was getting really worried. I put my head on the table, when I felt something touch my hand. I saw you had placed three thousand dirhams under my elbow and then you started playing with my hair. I looked up at you and smiled.

And my dream ended.

Girls

2011-06-06T00:55:00.005+05:30

Oh to be you. Just for a day.

There are two kinds of girls in this world—those who take a lot of effort to get noticed by boys, and those who get attention without any effort. I belong to neither of these groups since I make no efforts to get noticed, and whenever I am noticed, it is not for positive reasons. Anyway.

I know these two girls, great friends of mine, who fall in the second category. Men of all kinds fawn over them, and they don't have to do anything to get their attention. Let's call my friends A and B. Ever since I have known A, she has gotten hit on by so many guys, and it seems a little surprising to me, since she is not a flirtatious or 'come-hither' sort of girl. She's shy and sort of an introvert. Yet, guys are just naturally attracted to her. But this comes with drawbacks too, since she has been stalked several times by very creepy guys.

B, on the other hand, is full of life. She's funny, smart and cute. In her case, boys are attracted to her effortless charm. In fact, a friend of mine doesn't even know her and he proclaims he likes her based on her photographs!

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could be them for a day. Even an hour, tops. Though I run the risk of sounding really pathetic here, but I wish I knew what it feels like to get so much attention. The last time someone liked me was back in 2007, which ended in 2008, so if the previous line wasn't pathetic, this surely is.

Ugh.

Ok enough of this sad stuff. In other news, I turned 25 last month *throws streamers*. At the stroke of midnight, I was sitting outside this mall with 3 friends and a guy I just met. I got hugged, got a lot of handshakes and the calls started pouring in. But that moment when the clock struck 12, I was miserable. I cried. The last time I cried on my birthday was 5 years ago when I turned 20. Turning 25 is not so peachy after all. I wonder what will happen to me when I turn 30. *gulp*

Bye now.

Seriously, go!

Of...

2011-05-31T23:41:00.002+05:30

Of crushes,

Silly and surreal.

Of meeting for the first time,

And acting like a fool.

Like Medusa's seen you

And being frozen in time.

Of being red faced,

and tongue-tied.

Of not knowing what to say,

Yet wanting to say a hundred different things.

Of abrupt endings,

And cursing yourself

For zoning out for hours,

Thinking what went wrong.

That's basically what today has been.

In a nutshell, of course.

Photo Memories

2011-05-21T18:13:00.007+05:30

Working for a photography magazine has certainly made me realise the importance of photo memories, amongst other things. I think the age of film was a great time, because whatever photographs we shot with our cameras, prints were made. Since there was no other way to view our photographs, we relied on prints to view the final results. And now, years later, as I sift through old photographs, I feel that hit of nostalgia again. I am sure you must have also had those moments where, looking at old photographs, you felt all the memories connected to that photograph come back to you. Today, I thought I'd share some photo memories with you.

1. Le Marriage

Growing up, I was extremely fond of dressing up and applying makeup, and my aunt was only too happy to oblige. In this picture, a 4 year old me demurely poses as the bride, while my sister (who, judging by her expression, was quite embarrassed) dressed up as the groom. That doll you see in her hand was the baby. I don't really remember this moment happening, but it always gives us a good chuckle each time we look at it.

2. Le Beach Time

I remember this day so clearly, even today. My cousin had flown down from Scotland, and we were taking him on a Bombay darshan. We visited all the major landmarks, and here we were at Juhu beach. By the looks of it, it seems I was killing fishes, my cousin was just about to join me, and my grandfather just looks happy.

3. Le Family

When we were in Dubai in 1995, my dad decided to have our family portrait shot. All of us dressed up in our best, this strawberry dress was my first ever 'propers' dress, and those red flats were my first girlie footwear. In the excitement of getting a picture clicked, I guess nobody noticed my hemline was lopsided. I like this picture because it frames my family perfectly, and we have never had another family portrait shot after this one time.

So here's my suggestion to you—if you have prints with you, please digitise them. Scan them, take their photos, and what have you, but do store them in a digital form. You won't regret it!

I have a lot of other photo memories, and I wish I could share them all. Do you have some you can share? Let me know! Till then, happy nostalgia!

Vacations?

2011-04-27T23:14:00.007+05:30

Remember your last day of school before summer vacations?

The last paper? That intense giddiness you felt while planning the months of nothingness that lay ahead?

Fifteen years ago, that was me in the classroom. I filled supplements after supplements with rubbish. I finished my paper 1 hour before time, my heart racing with each passing minute. That was me, jumping with joy as the bell rang, ending the semester and beckoning the holidays. I was that girl in the school bus, dancing and singing, loosening my tie. Reaching home, jumping on the bed and finally settling down, I would smile and think to myself "life couldn't get any better."

Fifteen years later, it's Summer vacation again. Except this time, I'm not that girl anymore.

P.S. I am thinking of shifting to wordpress or tumblr. Thoughts?

Up With Music!: Week 1

2011-02-25T22:08:00.005+05:30

As a means of trying out something new, I present to you my latest venture: Up With Music!

Every Friday, I will recommend 5 songs—they could follow any theme, and they could be any genre.

With every song recommended, I will also embed Youtube links on the song title for you to check out the music. If you like my reccos, let me know! This could be the start of something awesome!

Up With Music! Week 1 Recommendations:

Theme: Mood Music

1. Mood: I am going to stare at the ceiling and zone out.

Song: The Lime Tree by Trevor Hall

Why: Trevor Hall's sublime voice, mixed with slow, rhythmic beats...perfect zone out music.

2. Mood: I'm going to cuddle and make out with my boy/girlfriend now.

Song: My Favourite Book by Stars

Why: Boom boom beats and a smooth voice. What more do you need?

3. Mood: I'm going to punch someone in the face now.

Song: Bodies by Drowning Pool

Why: Super angry music to vent out your frustration to. And a good theme song for when you are punching someone in the face.

4. Mood: I'm going to dance like no one's watching

Song: Via Con Me by Paolo Conte

Why: Wouldn't you dance to something that went "Chips chips chips...du du du du.."?

5. Mood: I'm feeling low and need a mood boost.

Song: Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin

Why: The perfect happy song for whenever you're down!

Hope you enjoy this week's music recommendations! See you next week!

Till then, Up With Music!

Love Letters

2011-02-23T23:33:00.002+05:30

So this friend of mine was talking to me about her ex today, about how they were so perfect, and how they wrote each other letters, and how their letters were so wonderful. I got the opportunity to see one letter. sent by the ex to my friend. As I was reading it, I instantly felt my heart getting heavier. Dammit. I thought in my head. That letter was so, well, wonderful, and I couldn't help but think about all those letters my ex and I wrote each other.

You know those letters that just make you SIGH as loud as you can, as you read them with a cheesy smile plastered on your face? That was the kind of letters we wrote each other. As soon as I read my friends' letter, I knew I would go back and peak into my archives. I kept stopping myself... I did not need to see those again. But I did... I read those lines of poetry he wrote me... about the countless times he told me I am beautiful on days I felt I looked like crap... about the times when he apologised for fights... and of course, I don't need to count the times he said he loved me. Then I read our post break-up letters... and I felt myself welling up a bit. I knew immediately I should not have read them.

Love letters are just stupid.

P.S. I dedicate this post to you pixie girl. Everything's gonna be alright :)

2011 is here!

2011-01-01T20:08:00.003+05:30

Huzzah! Huzzah and celebrations galore! 2010 marks the end of a crazy ass decade, and 2011 begins another. Happy New Year to all of you beautiful people out there! May the Gods of inspiration always bless you with wondrous blog posts!

As for new year resolutions, I have only one, which I really hope I can stick to - save money!

When "Confessions of A Shopaholic" was written, it was written about me. I have this incessant urge to buy something each time I'm out - whether I need it or not. I started working again since August, and I have wasted so much money, so very uselessly. I decided to do some math and I found out that the money I spent in the last 4 months could have been used for -

1. One iPhone 3Gs OR
2. Canon EF 70-200mm f/4L USM OR Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro USM OR
3. An Apple iPad 64GB - WIFI OR
4. Two Apple iPod Touch 64GB - 4th Generation OR
5. A week long luxurious vacation in Goa.

Really puts things in perspective, no? After the calculation, I sat back stunned. Now it's time for a change! No more spending money on crap unless I absolutely need it. And to make it even more stringent, I'm going to leave my cards at home each time I go out.

What are your new year's resolution?

Preach Mode: On

2010-12-22T00:18:00.002+05:30

I have no idea why, but I just feel like doing a short post today. I feel like delivering a small lecture to anyone who is willing to listen.

You, reading this, yes, you...stop looking around.

You're beautiful.

You're the sexiest person alive.

Man you're hot!

And never

Ever

Ever

Ever

think otherwise,

hot stuff ;)

The Exorcist

2010-12-07T12:09:00.004+05:30

Eep!

Let me begin by saying I am not a fan of the horror genre. In fact, on any normal day, I would not touch horror by a barge pole. I have religiously and happily avoided watching or reading anything that was remotely close to horror and I was quite pleased with my progress. Until...

I was reading a blog post around Halloween, where the entry spoke about must-read books from the horror genre. As I read the details about the books listed, I could not help but be intrigued. I had never really read a scary book (unless you count Goosebumps!) and the ones mentioned in the blog were downright classics. I finished reading and curiosity got the best of me - I ordered three books from flipkart. The Shining, The Exorcist and IT.

The first of the lot was The Shining by Stephen King. Stephen King is often times considered master of the horror genre, and has written several books in the same. The Shining is considered one of his best, and was made even more popular when Jack Nicholson played the role of Jack Torrance from the book. The book also received a mention in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, when Joey got so scared of the novel, he stored it in his freezer! After reading the book though, I wouldn't say that Joey may have exaggerated. The book is that scary. There are some truly spine-chilling moments in the book, where I felt my heart beating a thousand beats per second. There were also times when I put the book away because I was too scared to go further. In the end, however, I finished it, saw the movie version (didn't like it as much as the book!) and I felt satisfied!

Then came gulp The Exorcist. I remember seeing fragments of the movie version a long time ago. I knew the story, I knew what was to happen, yet I was not prepared for the book version. The way the author has described the paranormal, horrific incidents were so disturbing and revolting at times. I read the entire novel with a blank expression on my face, where my mom would ask me several times - what is wrong with you? As I reached the climax, I felt my hands going cold and trembling and finally the book ended, however my adrenalin rush would not settle. I swear I started hearing noises and felt movements. I could not sleep at night. I was thoroughly shaken. Will I see the movie though? Highly doubtful!

Now I am reading IT by Stephen King. The book is a massive 1376 pages, so it will take me some time to finish. But I'm sure I'm going to enjoy every bit of it.

So, have I become a horror convert? Perhaps!
Am I going to see horror movies? At present, HECK NO!

The Crush...

2010-11-22T00:04:00.003+05:30

It's just..a little crush

From the age of 10 to 15, I had a massive, massive crush on a boy in my class. He was fairly popular among the girls, good at sports, great at science and an all round good guy. Seriously, who wouldn't fall for such a person? Well, I fell. And I fell hard. You know that kind of longing you experience, where your heart beats harder each time the person walks by? When you secretly cry thinking he would never be with you? That's how it was with him. I never told him how I felt, and it took me 2 years to finally get over him.

After him, I never felt the same about any guy. Of course, I fell in love and was in a relationship, but I must honestly admit that I didn't have a crush on him. And I don't think you can equate a crush with love. Of course if the crush is mutual and it develops into a relationship, there is nothing better. But that never happened with me. My first crush didn't surmount to anything, and my first love was no crush. Weird, but true!

But now, dear readers, at the risk of having that person read this post, I am about to reveal the second crush of my life. Now this crush is completely different from my first in the sense that it isn't longing I felt for him. It was awe...maybe what I will feel when I finally meet John Abraham (YES IT WILL HAPPEN! POSITIVE THINKING!). I will not name him, but let's call him...umm..Guru (I have no idea why!)

Now you will all remember when I went to Delhi for an internship, right? Well, Guru was the editor of the magazine where I interned. The very first time I saw him, I was actually taken aback. Was this man for real? Tall, fair, brown eyes, curly hair, thick lips..that was just from the outside. Then he shook my hand and his deep baritone voice boomed "Hi Supriya, we really need you!" And in my head I thought Oh my! I really need you too!

It was crush at first sight. I found myself staring at him during breaks, my eyes twinkling (maybe my pupils dilated to little hearts, who knows?!). I sighed every 2 minutes, and I remember I drooled a fair bit too! I was a bumbling mess each time he spoke to me. His voice literally made me weak in the knees.

Then came the most memorable day of my life. It was decided that we would go to Chandni Chowk for some exploration and a shoot too. A day earlier, Guru texted me about the next day's details (I still have that message saved. Sigh) We all met up at work, and once we were all in, we were on our way.

We first went to Haldiram's, where Guru treated us all to chole bhature after which we all split up and went on our way. I crossed my fingers and prayed..oh please let me be on Guru's side..and thankfully, I was! I did a little jig when no one was watching, and I silently followed Guru as we started exploring Chandni Chowk.

We walked a lot, and spoke a lot too. Walking the small cramped lanes, the cold weather and Guru's company made me feel like I was on a set of some movie. So surreal.

Once we were done we started walking towards the Metro station. It is a long walk, and we were both very tired. "Shall we get a rickshaw?" Guru asked and immediately I felt my heart thudding loudly. I would be sitting so close to him! We hailed a cycle rickshaw and I gingerly sat next to him. I know it sounds so cheesy, but I felt an intense emotion being in such close proximity. I swear I felt myself blushing, my face was on fire. It was the most epic time I have ever ever had.

Of course the ride got over soon. He was such a gentleman - he helped me out of the rickshaw. I wish I could describe how I felt exactly, but right now the words are just not coming to me. I would just say it was one of the best feelings.

So Guru, if you're reading this, YES, I did have a crush on you (seriously, who wouldn't?) You are my real-life John Abraham :)

tek tek

2010-11-06T18:38:00.002+05:30

tek tek
tek
tek tek tek

(stop it please. stop)

"Nice to see you Mr. Khurana"
"Nice to see you too"

(wouldn't I love to blow your FUCKING BRAINS OUT!)

Too tight.
Too tight.
Too

(I should leave)

Tight.

Yeah baby
Harder.

(Scream for me bitch. SCREAM!)

Blood. Brains.
Brains.
Blood.

(What did I do? No! No!)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

tek tek
tek
tek tek

The Ass Biter

2010-11-01T17:17:00.003+05:30

A long time ago, Diwali vacations meant long hours of nothingness, inventing and playing weird games, fighting with siblings, eating delicious food and other such all-round goodness.

GRR! Gimme back my ball!

On one such balmy vacation evening, a bunch of us were hanging out at the park. General random mutterings were shared. We were all sitting around doing nothing, when we heard loud shrieks. Two kids were fighting with each other over some reason, let's just assume it was cricket. They were hitting each other silly when two of the older boys came and separated them. One of the kids (let's call him Prakash) huffed angrily and went away. The other one (let's call him Avinash) adjusted his t-shirt and came walking towards us.

A good ten minutes passed, and our random mutterings were still on. Avinash was standing on my right, talking about something. We were all lost in conversation, when we heard a loud cry. Prakash was screaming his head off, running straight towards Avinash. He looked like Leonidas entering the battlefield.

"THIS IS SPART..sorry..AVINAAASHHHH!" he screamed and lunged towards him. All this happened so quick, we were too stunned to react. Prakash must have missed his mark because he landed near Avinash's feet, missing him completely. I guess Prakash had a backup plan in mind, because the very next second, he pounced on his ass and..I kid you not...started biting it. His mouth was filled with a meaty chunk of Avinash's ass, and he held on to it like some wild animal.

Avinash howled loudly and tried to free himself from Prakash's death-grip, but he simply would not let go. Again two boys came and separated them, while the rest of us were falling on the floor, laughing our guts out.

I miss Diwali vacations!

Some Updates

2010-10-30T15:21:00.004+05:30

*Lately, I've grown really, stupendously hot. Dear reader, I wish 'hot' meant sexy, but not in my context. I have been sweating half my body weight out every single day, and I hate that. The worst part is that the sweatiest part of my body is my face. Not armpits, like regular people. Had to be my face. It feels like I've come out of a sauna every time I enter my office, and it feels so horribly gross. I even carry around a huge-ass napkin. Is there a cure for sweatiness? Oh I really hope there is!

*I have fallen in love with 'Shaam' from the movie Aisha. I know I am late, but I am not really an appreciator of Hindi music. But there's just something about that song. I have heard it on loop at least ten times, and I loved it more each time. However, I am also sure I will get sick of it by the end of this month. The same happened with Train's 'Hey Soul Sister'.

*I wish I could update this blog more frequently, but I guess I am suffering from a permanent writer's block. I do hope it doesn't permeate into writing for the magazine, cause that will totally suck! There are so many things I want to share, but as soon as I touch the keyboard, I loose it. I am freely writing this post, maybe that's why I am able to write it. Hmm. Maybe I should do that more often.

*Flipkart is my latest haunt. I have ordered so many books lately, the guy who couriers them to my home told me he has never delivered so many books to one residence! I guess that's cool, right? Currently I'm reading Stephen King's The Shining. After I read Carrie, I knew I had to read The Shining. I have finished about six chapters now..nothing scary...so far! The next book on its way is All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory John. Can't wait for that one!

*I miss talking to this friend of mine, with whom I don't speak anymore. We had the best, most random conversations. I used to shout at him, we fought a lot, but then we made up too. We spoke for hours over the most stupidest things. And now, we don't talk anymore. How things change, eh?

*I read my very first byline in the magazine, and I dedicated it (in my mind) to my grandfather. Long ago, I had told him that when I write a book, I will dedicate it to him. This article, of course, is not a book, but it's a start. It's my name in print. And I dedicate it to him.

*Diwali is here! Yay! It's my favorite festival of all time! I love dressing up, the lights, the sweets. I could live without those blasted fireworks! Dhadam, dhudum, dhadam! Fuu! Hate them. I wish some inventor creates a noise-less, pollution-less alternate to fireworks. Wouldn't that be epic?

*I miss being in love. I can't say anything more on this topic. Let's just say, I love you all :)

Shaadi.com?

2010-09-25T18:57:00.003+05:30

These conversations are getting very regular at my house these days. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'm growing old without my knowledge. Feh.

itchy crotch!

Mom: बेटा, तूने क्या सोचा है?
Me: किसके बारे में?
Mom: शादी के बारे में!
Me (sighing): और मुझे शादी के बारे में क्यूँ सोचना है?
Mom: तू बड़ी हो गयी है अब! मैं लड़के देखना शुरू कर रही हूँ.
Me: Laughing hysterically, almost falling off the couch
Mom: हस मत. तू नहीं चाहती किसी सुन्दर से राजकुमार के साथ तेरी शादी हो?
Me: तू कर ले शादी. I'm happy as I am.
Mom: नहीं बेटा, अब दो साल में तेरी शादी करनी है. मैं तेरी प्रोफाइल बना रही हूँ shaadi.com पर.
Me: बना दे...लेकिन मेरी photo ज़रूर डालना.
Mom (pausing): दो साल हैं...तू बिलकुल shape में आ जाएगी! कल से diet शुरू!
Me (slapping my forehead): हे भगवान्! मैं ऐसे इंसान से क्यूँ शादी करूँ जिसके लिए physical appearance ज्यादा ज़रूरी हो?
Mom: It matters
Me: UGH!
Mom: तेरे मामा भी कह रहे थे अब उम्र हो गयी है तेरी...
Me: I'm only 24!!
Mom: जब मैं 24 थी, तू पैदा हो गयी थी...
Me: ..and you're still regretting that decision!
etc..
etc..
etc...

Marriage. Ugh. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. I've never ever seriously thought about being married someday. And now I'm being bombarded with such conversations from various family members and acquaintances. I'm only 24 people! Is that too old for Indian marriage standards?

Sometimes I feel I'm just not built for marriage. I'm lazy, immature, irresponsible - no saasu maa will want me for a bahu (good riddance in my books! ;D) But just in case, by some freak incidence, I do get married in two years, this post would have been completely useless, and I'd probably be deleting it then (in case my to-be saasu ma is net savvy).

BLEH!

And I did this too!

2010-09-19T21:46:00.003+05:30

If there's something unusual, weird, or random happening, you can be sure you'll find me there. This time around, the concept of a 'Fish Pedicure' caught my fancy.

A long time ago, I had seen a documentary on Discovery. People in Turkey suffering from various skin disorders were dipping themselves in these large pools filled with tiny black fishies. These fishies then stick to the person's body and start picking on their skin. Apparently, it's a great therapy and has had proven results.

I read about Fish pedicures when I was in Delhi last year. People were going ga-ga over how smooth their feet felt, and how rejuvenated they were after their experiences. I made a mental note of getting it checked out, but then a lot happened, in that period and it just slipped out of my mind.

Now this has migrated to good ol' Bombay too. And I jumped on the opportunity to visit one. The appointment was set, and I patiently sat, waiting for my turn. I kept wondering what it would feel like. When my turn came, I was taken in and an assistant first washed my feet. She asked if I had any allergies. In case you're wondering, I'm allergic to coriander now. Refer to previous post. But I guess that wouldn't matter for a Fish Pedicure, so I skipped that detail.

After a good washing up, I was taken in to the tub section. Hundreds of fishes were swimming around, probably wondering, "when's the next meal coming, yo?" I smiled, and thought, "you're really gonna like my feet little fishes!"

The timer was set for 15 minutes, and I gingerly dipped my feet in. Immediately the swarm latched on to my feet, and it felt like hundreds of tiny pins were pricking me. It felt so ticklish, and I saw these fishes going like a vacuum cleaner and sucking on my feet, inch by inch.

Eat little ones, eat.

Unfortunately, a huge crowd gathered to witness what was happening, like the Red Sea was parting or something. I felt like a caged animal on parade. Bleh. I decided to focus on the fishes who were trying to consume my feet, very unsuccessfully, however.

OMGWTF is going on here?! OMG!

But when I was getting really comfortable, I was told my 15 minutes were up and I had to get out of the tub. I pouted a little...I felt so close to the fishes by now. Come on they just consumed my skin, I felt connected! I didn't want to leave! "You could extend this session for 15 minutes for Rs. 200 more," the assistant told me. "Yeah, you can dry my feet now," I replied, shaking off the fishes from my feet.

*squeaky squeaky*

And now I have shiny, happy and the cleanest feet I've ever had. I will visit again, for sure. Wait for me, my little ones!

The commute

2010-09-09T09:28:00.003+05:30

Now that I have started working again, I consciously decided that I am going to add some exercise to my daily routine. In my previous job, I traveled by car and sat at my desk all day long, and being the super lazy person I am, there was absolutely no scope for exercise. Now, my office is located 20 minutes from Dadar station, so instead of taking a cab (which I wouldn't get anyway) I decided to walk to and fro to work.

Does 20 minutes of leisurely walking count?

I am usually not an observant person when I am traveling by an auto or cab. I don't pay attention to any details, and I usually get horribly lost, unless the driver knows exactly where I want to go. But when I walk, I absorb and take in all the details around me - the sights, sounds, everyday nuances about the place. Getting off at Dadar station is an experience within itself. First, the air hangs heavy with the stench of human feces, a hobo's armpits and a 'Gents urinal', all with a dosage of rotting coriander leaves. Then, as I hold my breath as long as I can, I jostle with about a million other people to walk up a flight of narrow stairs, bearing blows to all parts of my body.

I don't complain about this, because it's not only me who's going through the ordeal. The woman who was punching me a second ago was also being punched by someone else. It's an endless cycle of punches and blows. It's all fun and game till you know, someone dies, or something. Anyway, once the jostling is over, my walk begins.

If the station itself is so bad, you can only image what lies ahead. Wading through unending muck and dirt and blood, and vomit and coriander I start walking. It is drizzling slightly, so everyone opens up their umbrellas, almost poking my eyes out. There is a very old and sad looking horse who pulls a cart laden with rotten lettuce and coriander. I feel deeply hurt, but move on. There are two cows tied to a pole eating and shitting while people touch them out of sheer respect.

A little further, there is a Sulabh Sauchalaya, smelling like it should smell, along with rotting coriander. A homeless family sits on a cart outside. The baby wails on top of his voice, and his teenage mother mouths expletives shutting the baby up. Then I see a rare sight of ear wax cleaners (seriously, there are none around anymore!) cleaning people's ears and a public assembles to watch this (disgusting) feat.

Walking ahead, there is more rotting coriander and hordes of people loading bags and bags of it in trucks. Seriously, that's a lot of coriander. There is another cow tied to a pole, swatting flies with its tail. Then comes something I haven't seen in such close proximity before. There is something called 'Navrang Bar', a desi daru adda. There is no door, flimsy curtains separating the drunks from the outside world. There is the overpowering smell of bad alcohol, and I observe people getting totally hammered at 8.30 IN THE MORNING. Drunks sit outside, either vomiting or getting into fights.

Another 5 minutes later, I reach my office. There is a small Hanuman mandir outside with the inscription 'Thanks to Mr. XYZ for the biggest donation ever to make this mandir'. I bow my head in prayer and mumble:

"I better lose weight at the end of this!"

And so, it begins (again)

2010-08-26T22:46:00.004+05:30

Bloggersville! I have some exciting news (mostly for me, but since you guys lubb me so much, it's only fair I share :))

I had quit my corporate job in December 2009 in hopes of making a career in photography. I then interned with a well known magazine in Delhi as a photographer. It was a lot of fun, and getting my photos published really put a lot of things in perspective for me. The internship was a three month stint, and post that, I joined a photography course in Bombay to better my skills. Once that got over, started to look for work again..and it took a very long time, but I made it, finally :D I am now going to be working for India's number 1 photography magazine, doing what I really love to do! I'm so happy and feel so blessed!

Anyway, now that a new chapter of my life is beginning, I can't help but think about the first job I had, the big bad corporate world! A lot of memories came..here's a few to share with you!

Our bay consisted of 6 seats, and I vividly remember the folks I shared my bay with. There was Ms. P, who was flown in from Kolkata for a project. She was so inquisitive, and always ready with a conversation (unless she was busy!) I remember we had this singing duel of sorts..she had this amazing voice, and she would be singing some song, while I would be humming some obscure tune myself, and the music would just clash, but we kept on singing anyway! I remember feeling really bummed out when she left for Kolkata again!

There was also this guy whose name I don't remember. He looked EXACTLY like this:

Of course, he didn't bring a gun to work, but when I saw him for the first time, my first impression was he is definitely a member of the Italian Mafia! He didn't speak much (not at all with me) and would just be working throughout the day (I'm sure you all will remember how I spent my days at work, as suggested by previous posts! *cough*wastingtime*cough*) He had joined our bay in December, during Christmas time. The office got into Christmas mode, decorating the bay. Mr. A and I were really an excited bunch, decorating our bay with the zazziest of Christmas decor. I remember how sweetly the Italian Mafioso left his seat (even though he was in the middle of work) when we came to decorate his side of the bay.

I am one of those people who hate and abhor Antakshari with a passion, but I was somehow convinced to take part in the office Antakshari during Diwali. We made it to the finals, and it was between 6 teams (as far as I recall!). Our team was losing (I told you I hate antakshari!!) and as a last ditch effort, I belted out Masakalli from Dilli 6. The feeling was so amazing, the crowd went crazy, and I felt really really good. We didn't win, of course, but I did win this box of Tiffany sweets, so I guess it wasn't all bad!

As I recall all these moments, I am just left smiling. Now a whole new 'era' begins, more memories to make, more blog posts to write!

Cheerio, my lovelies :)

..is writing a post

2010-08-10T13:14:00.005+05:30

Boon or Bane?

Facebook - the phenomenon that has taken the world by storm. It has defined social networking to what it is today, and even redefined relationships. Personally, I love facebook, and I fail to remember what I was doing before it existed! (cause I'm on facebook 24 hours a day ;))

Now with everything good, there is of bad too. Yin-yang. Facebook is so transparent and so instant, people on your friends list update you on whatever they are doing in a matter of seconds. That could be a good thing if you're that voyeuristic, but what about people who could do without minute-by-minute updates about everything you're doing? When facebook asks you 'What's on your mind?', I'm sure it doesn't want specific, intimate details! Here's a list of updates on facebook I can do without:

1. OMG!!!!@!@!!! OMG!!@23232!! OMGGGGG Edward Cullen is soooo HAAAWWWT! (No he's not. He's a cold blooded leech man)

2. I'm in labour!! Baby number 4 on its way! (Concentrate on pushing, woman!)

3. "Tanhai mein faryaad to kar sakte hai,
Virane ko abad kar sakte hai.
Kya hua aapse mil nahi sakte,
Lekin aapko dil se yaad to kar sakti hai!" (What??!!)

4. Just saw Gupt first day first show!! OMG Kajol was the murderer! (Way to ruin it for the rest of us, my friend!)

5. 2 al mah frds, i luv u n v shud b frds 4eva!!! (Only if you go to grammar school)

6. I lOvE 2 tYpE aLl My StAtuS uPdAtEs lYk dIs (You do have a lot of patience!)

7. Can someone milk my cows while I'm on vacation? (Willing to throw in poisoning your farms for free!)

8. Aal eej well! (It won't be once you get my fist through your face!)

9. Love you boyfriend/girlfriend!!!! MWAH! MWAH!! (This is a whole new level of PDA which I'm not comfortable with!)

10. Just returned from Paris. Off to Maldives in a few hours! Life is good! (-Activating buri nazar-)

11. Very angry. Don't disturb. (And now I shall disturb you, even if I had no intentions to earlier!)

12. Stomach upset :( Making poops the size of my fist!..NASTY! (And I need to know that, because?)

14. Comfortably numb. (Quoting songs now, are we emo boy/girl?)

More to come! Watch this space!

Aisha - The Review

2010-08-07T16:55:00.005+05:30

Here's a confession for you - I love a good chick flick. They transport you to this wonderland of sorts where everything is possible. They all start happy chirpy, then there's a drop in the middle where the chick faces a moral dilemma, a climax where the hero and the chick kiss passionately, and a happy chirpy end. This tried and tested formula has been satisfying lonely, heartbroken girls for the longest time.

Then there are the bad ones. The ones that are so bad, you feel like tearing your hair apart in annoyance. You know the ones where, in spite of being so bad, you can't stop watching just because you've already seen it halfway. I saw Sex and the City 2 last week, and I was actually crying because it was so bad. But I will save my rant on the atrocious shitty movie for another post. This one's about Aisha.

To be honest, before I watching this movie, I had expected to absolutely hate it. (maybe SATC 2 has marred my chick flick experience for life?) I thought it will be 2 hours of L'Oreal, Christian Dior, Salvatore Ferragamo, Louis Vuitton; and how the chick can afford those shopping sprees and we can't. Honestly, it's a bit of that along with a so-called adaptation of Emma by Jane Austen.

Sonam Kapoor plays Aisha, the ditsy, nosey matchmaker from a rich Delhi background. Her best friend Pinky Bose (Ira Dubey) is mean, spunky and wears clothes that look like Andy Warhol threw up on them. Then there's Shefali Thakur (Amrita Puri), a talkative "behenji type" Haryanvi girl who has come to Delhi to find a boy for marriage. Aisha takes it up on her self to find a match for Shefali along with giving her a makeover (which includes 'subtle' L'Oreal product placements).

The men in this movie are Abhay Deol as Arjun Burman (who Sonam Kapoor calls Arjan throughout the movie with her weird accent), Aisha's next door neighbour and her complete antithesis. Cyrus Sahukar (cast brilliantly as Randhir Gambhir) is an heir to a mithai dynasty and has a soft spot for Aisha, but fights continuously with Pinky. Then there's the really really hot Dhruv Singh (Arunoday Singh..super smokin' hot shirtless!) who flirts outrageously with Aisha.

The movie basically involves Aisha's meddling ways in trying to get Shefali to hook up with guys she thinks are right for her. Arjun warns her of the consequences, but she doesn't listen. There are camping trips and people getting high, shopping, match making gone wrong, hot girl (Lisa Haydon) taking Arjun's time, making Aisha jealous, fights, punches, babies, more shopping, realizations, etc. etc. etc. Finally after two hours the movie ends, and I'm left thinking I've seen this movie before.

As it turns out, Aisha is not an adaptation of Emma, but an adaptation of Clueless, which was a 1995 comic adaptation of Emma. Clueless starred Alicia Silverstone as Cher Horowitz, and Aisha's character is based on hers. I saw the movie again yesterday, and noticed a lot of scenes and character traits in Aisha have been lifted straight from Clueless.

On the technical side, the cinematography was horrid, some scenes being completely out of focus. Music is fun, upbeat and fresh, quite enjoyable. Cyrus Sahukar is fun to watch, Amrita Puri is annoying, Ira Dubey is bleh, Sonam Kapoor is ok but needs help with that accent and Abhay Deol is flawless (and useless at the same time!)

All in all, this one's an ok movie, can be enjoyed with a big group of girls. Guys, avoid.

Final three word review of Aisha: Clueless was better.

2/5

And then..

2010-08-02T22:52:00.004+05:30

My life was perfect.

The sun shined bright all hours of the day. That palm tree always swayed when a strong breeze blew. That chair, painted a shiny white which never faded. How I sat at my sun deck tanning my skin to the perfect shade. I remember those white birds flying in the distance.

I loved my 6pm walks on the beach. The sun wouldn't set, but the sky turned a beautiful shade of orange every day. There was no night. Just the sky changing colour - orange to purple to pink to blue and it was morning again. The sun always shone, its smile ever present.

My dog Tallahassee didn't do much. He sat next to my bed. He never barked, he didn't go for walks. He just sat there, tongue hanging from his mouth, a faint smile on his face. He never bothered me for walks either. He was just a very very quiet dog.

In this life I didn't do much. I was never hungry, so I didn't forage for food. I had all I needed, so I didn't work. I was quite content with my company, so I didn't bother socialising. I was happy.

This was my life. My cozy, comfortable life. It was perfect.

And then, today happened. I was lying on my chair, tanning, as usual. I felt a slight tremble. Strange, I thought. Within minutes I felt another tremble, but the intensity was stronger. I got up from my chair and ran to my room and hid under my bed. Tallahassee still wasn't moving. I called for him, but he sat there as always.

All of a sudden I saw something glimmering outside. The trembling had stopped so I gingerly stepped outside. Everything around was covered in shiny dust. I looked up and the dust was still falling. It covered me completely. What was this? I had never seen something like this before.

I was so scared. I ran right outside my home and to the streets to see what was happening. The shiny dust was still falling. I reached down and scooped a handful of the dust. So strange.

The trembling started again. The intensity was so strong this time, I found myself flung in the air. I screamed loudly and crashed against a white bird. It was stationary too. I held on to its wings, screaming the whole time.

My word was going topsy turvy. The palm tree uprooted and was rolling around in the sky. The shiny dust had filled up the entire atmosphere, the particles choking me. The sun fell to the ground, crashing to a million bits. I saw my chair spinning around, and the very moment the bird I was hanging on to fell to the ground as well.

I hung on to dear life, but I knew my time was almost up. I didn't fall to the ground, wherever that was, anyway. I was spinning around mid air. Somewhere along the commotion I stopped thinking. For a second, everything stopped.

And then..my world came crashing down.

"Mommy!! Reena broke the snow globe!"
"You tattle tale!"

The End.

Troll'd

2010-07-23T19:03:00.002+05:30

Yes blogger buddies, my blog is officially troll'd. Some muthakuckas have been trolling on the comments for each post, and posting comments in Mandarin/Japanese with links, which I can only assume is a virus filled porn site. I know the trolls are going to comment on this post as well.

At first I thought they are some innocent Asian people who are appreciating my blog. Then I knew better. And blogger doesn't even allow you to block people from posting on your blog. But I am wise now. I don't bother. Post all you want you mothafuckas! I don't care!! Haiyah!

Apart from that, everything has been so random lately. Life is a haze of nothingness. But there's cake. So, some consolation?

I'm working on something for the next post! So I will see you then!

Tro-lo-lo-lo

Still Daddy's Little Girl

2010-07-10T18:47:00.003+05:30

I can't speak for the guys out there, but us girls have this undying need to make our daddies proud of us. He is the strongest man in the world, with the kindest heart. His rough hands hold us tight when we cry. We make stories about dragons and princesses right before bedtime and he tucks us under the covers and kisses us goodnight. He is always there for us, whenever we need him. We will always be daddy's little girls.

What is it about making our daddies proud of us that makes us so emotional? Every time ma came to our open house, we didn't bother so much. But when daddy came, it was such a big deal. That's my daddy, talking to my teacher. He's telling me I can do so much better, but he is still happy. I'm holding back tears.

When ma came to our sports meet, we were happy she's there. But when our daddies came, we pushed harder. We pumped our chubby feet as fast as we could. When we saw him cheering for us, we closed our eyes and just ran towards the finish line and finished the race. We raised our trophies high in the air, looking at his smiling face. Our hearts filled with contentment. I've done something to make you proud, daddy.

When our documentaries were being screened, I waited patiently for you to come to the auditorium. When my teacher praised me in front of you, I tried really hard, but I couldn't control my tears. I cried, and you patted my back. "Don't cry, beta" you said softly. I excused myself. I picked the best seat for you in the auditorium. I waited for you outside. And then I saw that tear trickling down your eyes when you said "I'm so proud of you, beta." I sighed in happiness. I'm on the right path daddy!

-------
Finally I wrote something 'decent'. It's been a while! Hope you're all good! :) Thanks for being patient with me!

P.S. To the people who are posting comments in Mandarin/Japanese, please stop! I dont understand what youre saying!

Few Facts about Fat People

2010-05-04T11:20:00.003+05:30

As the spokesperson for all fat people in the universe, I believe it is my duty to inform all you skinny/regular people of the very essential facts about fat people. These are things you probably never knew about us, but it is of utmost importance that you do. Why? Look around you. Every second person is overweight or obese. Pretty soon, you will be too. So please pay attention, for I am about to tell you the things a fat person hates to hear and do.

A. Hear

1. Nothing, and I mean nothing, angers us more than when a skinny girl says "OMG! I have to loose 5 kgs! My weight has gone up to 45kgs! Ugh..I feel so faaatttt!". Have you ever felt a dhai kilo ka haath across your face, bitch? No? Well, now is a good time to start then. FATAAAK!

2. When someone gives us diet/exercise tips, we feel like ripping the person's head to half. We have not asked you to give us any advice, so why do you want to anger a fat person? Remember the dhai kilo ka haath? It applies here too.

3. When you compare other fat people to us. "I have a friend, she's about twice your size...She's sooooo faaat!" What the hell? Are we a benchmark against whom you compare other fat people too? What if I told you I have a friend who's twice more uglier than you? Would you like that?

4. When you say fat people are generally a violent race. Okay, so point 1 and 2 of this may not be helping my case, but really, fat people are not at all violent. Look at us, will you? By the time we raise our fists to punch you silly, we'll be too tired and give up. So no, I am not joining your Antakshari team because you think I will hit every member of the other team just 'cause they're cheating.

5. We hate it when our friends (sweet as they are) call us 'sexy', 'hot', or 'da bomb'. Oh sweeties, you really are too kind. Too, too kind.

6. We hate it when people call us 'fat' or other words which mean 'fat'. And we don't hate it 'cause we feel hurt by the said words. No, no. We hate it cause it's the most unoriginal way to hurt a fat person. You're telling me I'm fat. So? Is that supposed to hurt me? cause I kinda already knew that. Come on, a little originality please!

7. We hate it when a skinny girl says "I eat sooooooooo much...yet I don't gain even one gram of weight." Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Don't smite a fat person. Trust me.

B. Do

1. Fat people hate all kinds of physical activity. We hate the mere thought of going to the gym. If it were up to us, we'd prefer not to move at all. The Sloth's life is the life for us!

2. We hate going clothes shopping. Apparently, clothes manufacturers still believe there are no fat people in this world. We hate trying on clothes, and hate it even more when they don't fit. We hate looking at size zero, as we shriek in disbelief, "How can people be so skinny!" We, however, love shoe and makeup shopping. One size -does- fit all.

3. We hate eating in public. Most people think our eating capacity compares to a blue whale that has been hungry for 5 days. It might be true for some of us, but most of us have quite normal appetites, in fact we may eat even less than skinny people. Whenever we eat in public, we feel our food is under scanner from the people around us. Stare at your own food, fools!

4. Continuing from point 1, we hate all adventure sports. Our bodies are just not meant for 10 mile hikes, or climbing the Himalayas. When we can watch Himalayas on Discovery Channel (now in HD!), sipping on our cokes, why should we make an effort to climb it? We really really don't have an adventurers spirit, so don't even bother.

5. We hate taking photographs with skinny people. We don't like the fat-skinny contrast, cause it makes us feel even fatter. It is definitely an ego boost for the skinny person, but not us...sorry!

That's it I guess. This was the list of what a life is like for a fat person, and all its irritants. We basically hate everyone and everything, and would like you all to leave us alone.

Ok? Thank you. Bye!

*poof*

Love, Sex aur Dhoka - The Review

2010-03-23T18:23:00.002+05:30

I was excited about the release of this movie for the longest time. Not a single known actor, and most importantly, the movie was shot in digital format - Security cameras, spy cams, digital video cameras - the whole shkabang. Finally, taking full advantage of the Vodafone Tuesday offer, I dragged my mum along to see the movie with me (no one else was available!)

I'm glad I took mum along with me, because anybody else would have been an irritant. She dozed off within 15 minutes of the movie, and I was caught in attention by every move the genius Dibakar Banerjee was making.

Love, Sex aur Dhoka challenges mainstream Bollywood movies, and their portryal of love. Dibakar has divided the movie into three parts, each part dedicated to love, sex and dhoka respectively, though all three parts have elements of each. All three stories and characters are interwoven with each other.

WARNING: Super Spoiler Alert. If you haven't seen the movie, don't read any further! Skip this section completely!

The first section is an out and out challenge to Bollywood's notion of love, how everything works out for the hero and heroine, against all odds. The young aspiring movie director who falls hopelessly in love with the daughter of a rich businessman, sounds cliched, doesn't it? The young man is a huge follower of the Yash Raj school of filmmaking, and his diploma movie 'Mehendi tere naam ki', is a tribute to 'Adi' Chopra. He falls in love with the lead actress so much so, that he even begins calling her Simran. So far, everything seems like the perfect Bollywood plot, even the leads begin to think so. Dibakar has juxtaposed real life versus the cotton candy Bollywood life wonderfully in the first section. However the love story ended, Dibakar simply left it on the audience to interpret and choose what life they'd like to live.

The second story is, I think, the best combination of all three parts - love, sex, aur dhoka. A broke 'MBA', a store clerk, and things that go bump in the night. What I took away from this section was that in such times, who do you trust? The person you love? Does he/she really love you? Can you let yourself go completely? Do things truly work out in the end? This part had some of the most risque dialogues and 'bold' scenes.

The third is all about 'dhoka'. A jaded dancer wants to take revenge against the Punjabi pop star Loki Local (the best performance in the movie!) who used her in exchange for an appearance in his music videos, which he never goes through with. Fate brings together the dancer and an equally jaded 'sting operation expert'. Together they plan a sting operation against the pop star. What happens next? Find out!

SPOILERS END

The movie is gritty, gripping, and brutal at times. There isn't a boring moment in the movie, it engages you from the beginning to the end. In terms of movie-making, it is truly revolutionary. It has some of the best dialogues and superb music. Dibakar has created some very memorable characters, and in my book, they are going down alongside heavyweights like Hanz Landa, Michael Corleone and Darth Vader!

It is unfortunate that Dibakar is a director from Bollywood. This movie will not be sent for Oscar consideration, nor will it receive the Filmfare for the Best Movie. He will of course be given a Critics award for his efforts, while Shah Rukh Khan laughs his way to glory and wins best of show. Sigh.

So here's 4/5 for Dibakar Banerjee's Love, Sex aur Dhoka. Watch it for pure cinematic excellence!

Sachin Tendulkar

2010-02-25T23:55:00.001+05:30

R.I.P

My dadaji (grandfather) passed away peacefully on 11th February, 2010. We had several names for him - Grandy, Gramps, Grampa, Biscuit Baba (he loved biscuits!), and of course, dadaji.

To say his life was a struggle would be an understatement. He had seen hardships right through his childhood. But he fought through every struggle and achieved everything that he possibly could. He was the quintessential self-made man.

Dadaji had few hobbies, and the one that topped the list was research. He would spend entire days writing in his journals about his new finds and discoveries. He would rip apart relevant newspaper articles and stick them on to his journal, even before anyone else got the opportunity to have a read. He would read and write with such joy - it was something he was so passionate about. Of course then, we found this hobby a waste of time and energy, and most importantly, we weren't getting our paper to read. We would tell him to stop so many times, but he never gave up.

The second thing he was most passionate about was cricket. He loved everything about cricket. He would discuss players, scores, even stadiums at length with anyone who'd ask. When he got sick and bed ridden, he would tune his portable radio to the live cricket commentary. He would still cheer and curse whenever India performed favorably or not.

The last time I saw dadaji, I told him he was a great man. I told him I love him and I will continue to love him forever. I told him to get well soon. I wanted to see him back on his feet again. I wanted to see him reading and cutting holes through newspapers again. I wanted to see him cheering every time Sachin Tendulkar hit a six. I wanted him to tell me his stories again. I wanted to hear him cough loudly every time he brushed his teeth. I wanted to hear the shuffle of his feet when he walked. I wanted to see him tune his radio again. I wanted him to be around.

And then, on 11th February, 2010, he left the world. He left me. And he took a part of me with him.

And then, on 24th February, 2010, Sachin Tendulkar made history by becoming the first cricketer to score 200 runs in a One Dayer. While India cheered for Sachin's achievement, I cried because dadaji wasn't here to see him do that. He would have cheered wildly, and then have told us for days about what he had done.

I talk to myself a lot, and I always hear a voice talking back to me. Yesterday, I spoke to myself again - "Dadaji, you missed Sachin's 200"

A reply came back to me, but a voice I had not heard before - "You don't think they have televisions in heaven?"

I smiled a little, while tears streamed down again.

Don't Panic

2010-02-22T19:37:00.003+05:30

..I'm still alive homies, just in case you were worried.

OR, if you thought I was gone for good, and you heaved a sigh of relief, then tough luck bitches!!!

I just took some time off to put things into perspective, plus I was in Delhi for two months, interning with this lifestyle magazine. But I'm back now. With new ideas, hopefully. Here's hoping my brain gets bombarded with new ideas about stuff to write, because without that, I am nothing!

Hope you've all been good little children, and missed me like you should have.

xoxox. Gossip girl! ;)

I'd say it's kind of funny!

2009-11-28T20:51:00.003+05:30

If there's one thing in my life that I have learned, it's that no matter how close you are to a person, he or she will use you. They will ring you out, juice you dry, till they have taken every opportunity to use you. Let me give you some examples.

There are some people you have never spoken to (and thanked your lucky stars) since school, and 5 years later, they add you on facebook. You 'peh' and 'meh' and add them, and for months, you will have no conversations, even on facebook.

Then one fine day, these long lost friends will ping you on the facebook chat, and have a conversation like this:

Friend: Hey!
Me: Oh Hi! (Why's he talking to me?)
F: Remember me?
M: Of course I do! (How can I forget those days when you bullied me to death!?)
F: Long time, huh?
M: Yeah.... (I wish it were longer)
F: So, what you doing these days?
M: Working at XYZ (*yawn*)
F: Oh cool!!! It's located at ABC, right?
M: Yeah... (ok where's this going?)
F: Do you know if there are any openings for an (insert educational field here) graduate?
M: Nope (I KNEW it!! Why else would he talk to me?)
F: Can you find out? Also, can you find out the pay package for a fresher?
M: I wouldn't know (EFF YOU!)

And then there are those, who are kind of friends, but only talk to you if they have some work to be done. They begin conversations with some formality, which soon leads to me having to do some work for them.

Friend: Hey beautiful!
Me: Hey gorgeous!!
F: How are you?
M: I'm good, you?
F: I'm fine yaar..how's life?
M: All good! You tell me?
F: Sab changa hai!
M: Chalo good.
F: So, what's your take on pink nail polish?
M: What?!!!
F: Yeah! I'm doing this article on pink nail polish....just wanted your opinion..
M: Uhh...ok..well..I think pink nail polish is (15 minutes of typing)
F: Cool, thanks. Chall I'm busy now, talk to you later.
M: Ok. (GRRRRRRRRRRRR :x)

Then there are the blatant ones, who don't even do the formality, and get right down to business.

Friend: Hey
Me: Hi
F: Have some work.
M: What?
F: Can you upload that video of yours on my blog?
M: Oh HELL no.
F: Why?
M: First off all, you didn't even ask me how I'm doing. Secondly, I don't want to.
F: Ok. Bye.
M: Bye.

The point is, if you let anyone use you, they WILL use you. I have a hard time saying 'No' to people, I guess it's the spirit of helping people out in me. Maybe I should try using others now..You...do me a favor, will ya? Comment on this post!

(P.S. I mean no offense to ANYONE in this post. Just sharing some anecdotes I'm sure most people go through!)

Today is 26/11

2009-11-26T10:05:00.002+05:30

Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

-John Lennon

But that's just me!

2009-11-19T12:39:00.002+05:30

I'm not the best looker.
I'm big and broad.
I have big feet,
And I'm kind of loud.

My clothes aren't the best.
They don't fit me well.
Strangers stare at me,
And I don't feel so swell.

My body makes noises.
I can't control.
To a thousand gyms,
I have enrolled.

I have many friends.
Who love me as I am.
They always lift my mood,
When I'm feeling Wham.

Whenever I'm low.
Whenever I'm crappy.
I look into the mirror,
And I always get happy.

I am not perfect.
But neither are you.
So let me live my life,
And you live your life too.

Life is too small.
So be who you are.
Be happy in your skin,
And take this with you far!

Some life lessons

2009-11-15T15:44:00.004+05:30

Everyone around you, and maybe even you, use the term "LIFE SUCKS!" (sometimes LYF SUX). Till some point of time, I used to believe the same. Nothing was going right for me, and my answer to everything was, "Life sucks!"

At some stage of my life, I got this epiphany. And I realised this: The more I believe life sucks, the more it will suck. If I change my point of view, if I believe that everything happens for a reason, I know that everything will turn out right. There are two reasons for my epiphany: 1. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, 2. Hannah Montana (Life's what you make it, so let's make it rock!)

So I learned a lot. And I changed my point of view. And with this blog post, I want to just share a few life lessons I have learned personally:

1. If you ever feel like doing something, just do it. You wanna dance in the middle of the road? Do it. You want to wear a certain type of clothing? Do it. You wanna sing, even if it is out of key? Do it. Never be afraid of the world laughing at you, because no matter what you do, there will always be someone who will mock you. So think of it this way, when you know you're going to be laughed at, why not do what you wish to do? You only get this life once -- live it the way you want to!

2. You are beautiful. Short, tall, fat, skinny -- you are beautiful. Beauty is such a subjective term, isn't it? The standards of beauty that society (Indian society in general) claims for people is so twisted, that it would probably take a lifetime supply of Fair and Lovely to get you to look like those models in the ads. It is a cliche line, but true at the same time: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Think about it yourself - would you rather be someone you are not to try and appease to the shallow standards of society, or be happy and content in your own skin? The more you try to impress someone, the more miserable you will be.

3. Don't blame God for your failures. If you're an atheist, this point is invalid, but if you do believe in God, stop blaming Her for your failures. You're in this world for a reason. Every action you do has a purpose behind it. You may not realise it now, but God has a plan for you. She listens to everyone, She listens to all your prayers. So even if you fall, rise up, consider it a challenge for God herself. And remember - never give up.

4. Listen to your mom. She is ALWAYS right. Your mom has seen life way more than you have, and there is no other person who can give you better advice than she can. So unless your mom is a hooker and a raging alcoholic who sells drugs on the side, listen to what she has to say. Take her advice, and it may just work for you!

5. Believe in a better life. If you think your life is bad, then that's what you will see around you -- a bad life. But if you change your view, think positive thoughts, you will start to notice positive things around you. When I say there is power in positive thinking, trust me, it works. Try this once -- before going anywhere, say to yourself 'There will be no traffic jams today', and believe it. Then stop thinking about the traffic completely. And then see what happens. I do this everyday, and I always manage to reach work on time. Try with the small things, and then work your way to the bigger ones. Remember - if you think positively, only positive things will happen. (This does not mean saying 'I'm POSITIVE I'll fail! ;) )

And that's it -- 5 life lessons from the Iggy. Maybe I should start some self-help sessions!! Who's with me? ;)

Ek Auto story

2009-11-10T10:46:00.008+05:30

Aaja meri gaadi me baith ja!

People from Bombay, come gather around, for I am about to teach you a lesson about the auto driver. Even if you're not from Bombay, pay attention. This information might come in handy some day.

The Bombay rickshaw driver comes in a variety of race, religions and species. I have divided these rickshaw drivers in several categories. They are as follows:

The Angry One: This specie of rickshaw drivers is a frustrated soul. He has had several anger management issues; one that tops the list is being called 'bhaiyya'. So this bhaiyya ji...err...rickshaw driver takes his anger out on the road. They will drive at breakneck speeds (passengers can literally break their necks sitting in this rickshaw), honk endlessly, spew countless swear words, and remove their misery on the other travelers. This specie is very likely to get into physical fights with other drivers who they crash into, mainly BEST bus drivers (who are a different specie all together!)
The Drunkard: The name is self-explanatory, isn't it? This is a sub-specie of 'The Angry One', and they prefer to drown their misery in a bottle of 'desi tharra' and then rule the road. It's easy to spot this specie, since you can smell the alcohol all the way from China. Their speech is slurred, they drive loopily, and are once again, very likely to get into accidents. They might even start talking to you, crying or laughing. If you value your life, don't travel by this auto.
The Yapper: If this specie gets a chance at an alternate career, he would love to host a talk show. Where only he talks. Yappers open their mouth the moment you sit in the auto, and shut up the moment you get off. They don't need you to initiate the conversation; they can pretty much begin on their own, starting with their favorite dialogue: "Aaj traffic bahut zyada hai!" They then move on to topics ranging from Himes bhai's new moojic, to discussing the nuances of Marxist theories. They are so apt at speaking; they will continue talking even if your ears are plugged to your music player. It is very hard to notice a Yapper from afar, so if you wish to avoid this situation, best keep your mouth shut in all your future rickshaw rides.
The Dhinchak: This specie loves his ride. They love it so much; they take it on their onus to decorate it with every loud and garish item possible. Both sides of the passenger seat will have images of Bollywood beauties, looking at you lustily. Their stereos will be complete with surround sound, sub woofers, and what not. They are Himes bhai's biggest patrons, and they will play his music extremely loud, till the point where blood seeps out through your ears. They will have the customary "Tum kab wapas aaoge" sticker on their rear-view mirror (which is, of course, only a decorative commodity!) There will also be a porn movie blue light which will shine throughout the ride. Fresh flowers, plastic flowers, agarbattis, pepsi bottles filled with black shiny liquid, you will find them all in a Dhinchak's ride. If you appreciate Indian kitsch, hitch a ride.
The Asshole: This is the worst of the specie. They take personal pleasure in making the ride a hellish experience for the passenger. They tamper with the meters, making them run at a speed of Rs. 5 per second. They letch at the female passengers, stop in the middle of the road to talk on their cellphones, spit all over Bombay, deliberately drive over pot holes to make the ride extra bumpy, fake a tyre puncture if they don't want to ply beyond a certain point...I can go on and on! These leeches think they can get away with anything, and 90% of the time, they do. If you get the slightest indication that the auto driver belongs to the Asshole category, leave immediately or get ready for a back breaking ride, where you will be cheated off of your hard earned money.
The Millionaire: This parasitic specie makes its presence felt in all the auto drivers categories. These are a super rich specie...they are even richer than the Tatas and the Ambanis! They feel like they people of Bombay rely completely on their services. But they are so rich, they don't even bother. Auto driving is a hobby for them, a mere sport. That's why they blatantly refuse passengers who ask them to go to a certain location. Even if they fall on their feet and beg the specie to allow them a ride, they will just raise their noses high and speed off. On a good day, if they feel like it, they tauntingly agree to ply the passenger. You should consider yourself super lucky if the Millionaire allows you a ride.
The Honest One: Rarest of the rare! The chances of getting into an auto driven by the Honest one are one in a billion. They don't tamper with the meters, so you don't end up paying exorbitant rates. They drive at a normal pace, follow traffic rules, don't talk much, and help you with loading luggage, if need be. The chances of finding the Honest One are rare, since it's an endangered specie. Slowly, the other six species of auto drivers are luring the Honest One to join the dark side. In the rare occasion you do land up in an Honest One's ride, please thank your lucky stars you got to see one before they disappear completely.

So there you go kids. Today you learnt about the seven species of auto drivers.

Tomorrow, how to eat daal-chawal at your office desk without making a mess.

Cheers!

Badla!

2009-11-02T09:51:00.003+05:30

Gah! Why the heck did I come here?

Have you ever been on a trip where you ended up thinking "Damn, I wish I hadn't gone?" Have you ever had a most pathetic trip experience? If you're one of the lucky ones whose trips have always been successes, I applaud you, and also beg you to take me along in your future trips. For the unfortunate ones like myself, read on, and empathize!

[Don't worry, I'm not talking about my Dandeli trip here. Dandeli was a blast. I want to write at length about it, that's why I have been stalling for so long!]

This particular horrid trip experience I would like to share with you happened during a 3-day visit to, hold your breath people, Badlapur. For those who don't know, Badlapur is in the Thane district of Maharashtra. In the balmy Bombay winters of 2001, our school decided to torture the 10th grade kids further by taking them to this place, by making it a compulsory attendance activity.

My parents had never allowed me to go to any school trips. And I was so excited for Badlapur, since it would be the first time I would be on my own, and my very first class trip. I happily packed all my stuff, put the film in my Kodak camera, and I was set to go! Boy, was I in store of a heck of an experience.

The journey began where we traveled to Badlapur via our school buses (!). Our principal warned us beforehand: "You must address the guides as sir, and not by their first names. Even if they tell you too. You must not give them your phone numbers. You must not be alone with them." She could have just made it short and said "We are not liable if one of you gets raped in this trip."

So there we were, all excited and stuff. I was up to my usual ass-licking the so-called popular kids, so that maybe they would give me some company during the trip. I whipped out my Kodak cam and shot a photo of the popular peeps (Maybe now they'll like me!) But it wouldn't click. Maybe it was jammed. Like the genius photographer I was then, I opened up the panel, exposing the film to sunlight. I wound it back again. But this time, the film just would not come out of the roll. Great. So I practically have no Badlapur memories to store (Thank God for that!)

We reached Badlapur in a matter of 3 hours. The girls with the trolley bags were ragged severely by the teachers (?) "Oh you're some model or what, carrying luggage like that". While I dragged my humble suitcase through the rocky terrain, I could see lines and lines of camp sites with huge tents pitched. So I guess this is where we'll be staying. It should be fun, roughing it!

All of us excitedly put our luggage near our cots. I was given the very last cot, furthest from the girls, closest to the bathroom. Oh well. I continued my ass-licking by actually offering to mist the girl's faces with this amazing mist my dad had given to me as a present. But of course, they refused. We don't use stuff like that for our grade-A skin. Oh la-di-dah! Of course, we were all in puberty, and most girls had severe acne. But, who was I to argue!

It was smooth sailing so far, when all of a sudden, we heard loud shrills coming from outside the tent. The camp instructor stood there, saying "Ok kids, time for Karate practice!" WTF? Karate? I had the most bemused look on my face as I trotted behind my classmates to the common area, where a gentleman stood, waiting to give us Karate practice. We stood in neat rows, and I was, as usual, the last person on the row. I am thankful for that, since I was wearing the tightest pants in the history of the world. As we attempted controlling our laughter over the gentleman's "Hoos and Haas", the Karate session continued. Air kicks, punches, jabs, we did it all. It was quite a grueling session.

In the evening, we were given orders to wake up at 6, as we will be going on trek. Sounded fine, I guess. We'd get to see some nature, fresh air, and the like! And we were given the warning to be there at 6 am sharp, or get punishment. Well, nice holiday, indeed! I was out of my tent at 6 am sharp, waiting for the others to show up. Slowly, everyone assembled. And the ones who were late had to do push ups. On their knuckles. Did I hear someone say military camp?

As you would have guessed by now, I used to be a very smart person. I decided to wear the tight pants again for the trek. Which, by the way, turned out not to be a trek at all. The guides made us run on an uphill climb. If life wasn't humiliating for us already, the fatties like me who were lagging behind were hit on their asses by a stick. Lovely. And then their was the run back down, which was fairly easy.

Post shower, I felt some uneasiness. I checked out my thighs - they were full of painful red bumps. I hollered, and cried, and screamed in pain. And since I was sooo popular, everyone attended to my beck and calls. In my dreams, of course! Then happened a 'river crossing' activity, which had no river. The students had to climb a ladder, hang upside down and cross to the other ladder. Fun. I didn't partake in this activity, since I didn't want the kids to have another reason to laugh at me.

To conclude this exciting trip, on the last day we were taken to a water purification plant so we could see how water is purified. Wow. Just what a 15 year old gets excited over. The happiest part of the trip for me was the ride back home. Mummy, I missed you!

Now, I am not dissing Badlapur. It's a nice place to visit. I'm dissing my stupid trip, with stupid memories!

Do you have any such stories to share?! Post a comment, I would love to know!

Photo courtesy: Gettyimages

She held my hand

2009-10-28T14:08:00.003+05:30

She held my hand
Squeezed it tight.
Am I dying?
It hurts.

Shh. It will be ok.
Just close your eyes.
It will be ok.
Just close your eyes.

My body throbbed in pain.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
I can't take this.
My stomach squeezed into a ball

I opened my eyes
As tears streamed down
The pressure rising
Higher and higher

And higher
and higher
and

BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Ahh. So much better.

I'm back people! And I'm all ready with post-writers block posts! Thanks for bearing with me! :D

Photus

2009-10-20T11:03:00.002+05:30

Hi everyone!

Sorry for my long absence from blogdom. I am currently on a dry spell when it comes to writing! I am taking a short little break, going for a chutti to Dandeli tomorrow! Exciting! :)

Anyway, I have started a photoblog, Sup Can Click! I hope you visit the blog and leave comments. It would really mean a lot to me!

I hope you guys had a supaaaaaar Diwali! See you all shortly! I hope this dry spell ends too! :)

Movie Review 2 - Wake up Sid!

2009-10-03T00:32:00.005+05:30

Super cute!

Wake up Sid is, to put it in the simplest terms, heart warming. It's a coming of age story about a boy, with an aimless life, and how he turns into a man.

Sid (Siddharth) Mehra is a quintessential rich kid. He has no ambitions in life, spends his father's money by the truckload, and lives for a day at a time. His friends are the most important to him in his life. He has a very cushy life, and it all comes crashing down, the day he fails his exams.

Relationships are severed, and he moves in with struggling writer, Aisha (Konkana Sen Sharma). It is through this experience, he learns to stand up on his own feet, and make something out of himself. In the process, he finds his true calling, and someone to love.

Ranbir Kapoor has done full justice to the role - the transition from spoilt brat to smart chap was smooth. Ayan has successfully created his character graph. Konkana Sen Sharma was gorgeous! She essayed Aisha perfectly.

For me personally, I could relate to several parts of the movie, and that's why it worked for me. However, I don't think this movie would sit well with people above 40, cause they will not find substance in the movie. Which, in some parts, is true. The movie, as a whole, didn't really have a strong story to begin with. The plot has been done to death a billion times. Also, the climax of the movie is complete rip off of the climax of the movie 'Never Been Kissed.' But it is the performances that drive the movie home.

The cinematography is superb. I loved the song sequence 'Kya karoon'. The music is apt and SEL have done a good job with it.

3/5

Final verdit: It's a good movie to watch with your friends. Avoid going with parents!

P.S. The girl who played Tanya (I don't know her name!) was in the audience with her friends, and whenever she would appear on screen, the group would hoot loudly. This irked me a little (frankly, I was jealous!) and I shouted "Yeah, we know Tanya is in the audience. Now shut up!" That was not a very nice thing to do. So Tanya (whatever your name is!) I'm sorry for doing that. Good luck, and all that! :)

Movie Review 1 - Inglourious Basterds

2009-10-02T23:53:00.002+05:30

What a movie, I say!

There were two reasons why I was super excited to see this movie:

1. Quentin Tarantino just happens to be my favorite director.
2. This would be the first Brad Pitt movie I'd ever see!

The movie is set in German occupied France, and is seen through the eyes of several characters. There is Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) and his rag-tag team of Jewish-American soldiers, out to kill all the Nazis. There's Shosanna Dreyfus, a Jewish woman, plotting revenge against the Nazis, Hans Landa in particular.

Being a film student (two years ago!) I kept my eyes open for references Tarantino would use in the movie, since this is one of Tarantino's specialty. But I got so engrossed in the performances, and Tarantino's sheer art, that I was transfixed throughout.

The plot of the movie is seamless. Not a single scene, sequence, dialogue seems out of place. For me, however, the most outstanding performances were by Christopher Waltz as Hans Landa, and Brad Pitt as Aldo Raine. Christopher Waltz, in particular, was par excellence in his portrayal of the "Jew Hunter". His opening scene with the French farmer was heart pounding. Landa's silent cruelty sends chill down the spine. And of course, to put a cherry on the cake, Waltz received the best actor award at Cannes 2009! Brad Pitt, with his southern drawl and his under bite is simply masterful!

There is another important character in the movie - Shoshanna Dreyfus, played by Melanie Laurent. I suppose her character was shaped as a means to show the world Tarantino's immense knowledge of movies. Her character oozes noir. The best scene featuring her is where Landa asks the waiter to get her a glass of milk, when they share a Strudel. And there is her epic plan to kill all the Nazis, including her pursuer, Frederick Zoller.

To conclude, the movie was superbly entertaining. Even my mom enjoyed it! The actors were magnifique, the screenplay was superb, the story was...I'm really running out of words here! So let me just give this movie 5/5, because I really did not find anything wrong with it. It is Tarantino's best film since Pulp Fiction.

Final verdit: MUST WATCH!

A/S/L?

2009-09-27T10:49:00.002+05:30

a/s/l??

A long long time ago, when people actually started affording home computers, my parents brought us one, a cute little HCL, with Windows 95 as the platform. Anyway, I digress!

My sister and I were initially too scared of using this contraption, so we decided that we will only use the computer if dad was around, just in case we goof up and cause the computer to 'break'. So whenever we wanted to play a game, or just get excited over typing in Word, we'd tell dad to switch on the computer and sit next to us the whole time.

Gradually, we began using the computer on our own. And then, BOOM, the internet happened. Again, dad became our savior and introduced us to the internet. We started exploring slowly, and then, BOOM, the chatting phenomenon happened! Indiatimes chat, yahoo chat, msn chat...what? Sister and I were completely oblivious to these.

One day, dad switched on the computer, quite excitedly. Apparently, someone had told him about chatting. So he wanted to try it out. He sat us and mom next to him, while he landed on indiatimes chat. And thus began a surreal conversation, which I still remember. Some girl (?) sent him an im. And so it went on, something like this:

Girl(G): Hie
Dad (D): Hello
G: a/s/l?
D: what?
G: a/s/l???
D: What are you talking about?
G: You don't know a/s/l?
D: No I'm sorry, I don't.
G: Bye.

I think that was the first and last time he ever went to a chat room. And he still doesn't know what a/s/l means.

Two years...

2009-09-24T10:40:00.002+05:30

Two years ago, on this very date, I had a dream. A dream to start a blog where I could connect with people, share my thoughts, and get to know the people's viewpoints. I initially started the blog in collaboration with my sister. The initial thought was to start something where we could review everything under the sun.

But things usually don't work out according to plan when it comes to me! Sister never attempted to write willingly, and I kept writing nonetheless. And it all grew from there.

Today, Out of Focus completes two years. Two amazing years where I've gone through so much. Here's a look back to some of my favorite Out of Focus picks for you to enjoy:

1. The boy (I am very proud of this 'story')
2. Noir (The first poem I wrote)
3. Dear: pin pale (Cute pen pal story)
4. Cookies (Stream of consciousness finds me!)
5. He's the Big Boss (Animals and Bigg Boss contestants collide!)
6. Dhruv (Cute boy, funny story)
7. I'm gonna be rich!!!!!!!!!!! (Seriously!)
8. The 'That Night' trilogy: I, II, III (First long story!)
9. Hala Mala Mukashi (My take on racism in Bollywood)
10. So Lickable! Plus an award! (My first blogging award!)

I have really enjoyed these two years. I want to give a big shout out to each and everyone of you for appreciating and enjoying my blog posts. It keeps me going! So cheers! Here's to you! :)

<3

9

2009-09-12T23:23:00.002+05:30

Man (?) vs. Machines

Good vs. Bad

This is the basic theme of the movie, simply titled '9'. The movie is directed by Shane Acker, and produced by Tim Burton (he is a genius!). I had seen the trailer for this movie a long while back, but was truly blown away after I saw the movie.

Summary:
9 is a post-apocalyptic action-adventure, set in earth, which now lies in ruins. It is up to 9 'stitchpunks' to serve a purpose, set by a scientist who sort of foresaw the events that would lead to the ultimate destruction of life as we know it. The movie is mostly seen through the eyes of the titular character '9'. He was the last of the stitchpunks' to be created, and perhaps the most important of the lot of stitchpunks. The others are 1 (the oldest), 2 (the inventor), 3 and 4 (the twins), 5 (the healer), 6 (the artist), 7 (the warrior), 8 (the strongest) and finally, 9. Without them knowing, the scientist has sent them on a mission to end the rule of the machines. It is only when they come together and work in unison, they manage to find an end to the machines.

My take:
The movie is visually stunning. The detail in which the stitchpunks are animated and brought to life is simply amazing. The machines look deadly and life like. The musical score of the movie adds depth to the various heart-pounding scenes in the movie.

The theme of religion, science, and belief runs very strong throughout the movie. Before 9's arrival, 1 has created his cult of sorts, where he is the leader. Much like various religious leaders, he has a stronghold on the stitchpunks. His one true follower and henchman, 8, uses his brute strength to enforce 1's rules and regulations on everyone else.

On the opposite side of the spectrum lies 9, who eventually serves the scientist's purpose. The climax and the last scene of the movie are fantastic.

What I liked:
1. Visually Stunning
2. Superb story
3. Excellent voice acting

What could have been better:
The movie finishes in 90 minutes, so none of the characters turn out to be really well developed. I would have loved to know more of the nuances and depth of each of the 9 characters.

One final point:
At the end of the day, the movie has a superb message, and is one of the best animation movies I have seen in a while. Children will not enjoy this movie, so best watch without their company.

4/5
Excellent!

Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful!

2009-08-27T15:51:00.002+05:30

Hello peeps,

Here I am once again with a little rant of sorts. And I hope you pay good attention to what I am about to say.

Don't hate someone because they are different from you. I always believe in one thing - we are all creations of God, and SHE would not create someone substandard. Everyone that comes into this world is beautiful - from reed thin to morbidly obese. We are all beautiful.

However, somehow, certain rules and norms sprang up and beauty suddenly became defined. Who defines what 'normal' is? Who decides what is 'beauty'? Not me, not you, not anyone! The only person who knows beauty is you, and it is only limited to yourself. You need to look in the mirror everyday and say to yourself 'Dang girl! You're hot!' That's what I do everyday!

I have been ostracized about my weight since I can remember. It bothered me first. I used to hate myself, I never looked at myself for more than 1 second. But then, I don't know why, I just got a feeling, if I don't love myself, who will? Since then, I am literally OBSESSED with myself. You should ask the peeps on facebook. There are about 890 photos of me on there, and trust me, I ain't stopping at that!

The same also applies at the other end of the spectrum. For all the people who are really thin. Now I am sure they don't want to be so thin, but still they are commented on. It's not their fault peeps, leave them alone!

So to all you haters, please stop hating. If someone is different from you, it doesn't make them ugly. It only makes them beautiful.

Peace out, yo!

So Lickable! Plus an award!

2009-08-25T09:26:00.004+05:30

Drool!

When life gives you lemons, what do you do? Make lemonade, of course!

But what do you do when life gives you fears, tensions, anxieties, age? You do what I do.

Just shut down completely, and go back to those days when fears, tensions, anxieties were limited to only 'how will I score in tomorrow's paper?' and aging meant waiting to turn sweet sixteen.

I had a very amazing childhood. Growing up in the late 80s and 90s was a great gift, I think. Children born in this era will never experience what we had then. We lived a day at a time, with no plans, no worries. Everything was so damn good.

I was just thinking back to those days this morning, when an incident popped up in my mind. I thought I should share, because I know there are people in this world who have this exact same habit as I did (and sometimes still do!)

You see, when I was younger, I had the (bad?) habit of licking up my plate after I finished eating my food. And this was more prominent when I was given a delicious bowl of ice cream. I would not leave a single sliver of the delicious cream behind, licking it all up! My mom used to get very irritated, but needless to say it did not stop me!

One day, my dad's colleague has invited us to dinner. So we were all dressed up and we went over to their place. Had a lovely dinner of chicken biryani and other such goodies. And the hostess then gave us ginormous bowls of vanilla ice cream. I am not much of a vanilla fan, but whatever! It's ice cream!

So I dug in. Now the thing is, when I am eating food, especially really delicious ones, I get transported to another world. The current world does not exist for me. I simply drift off, a yogi like expression on my face. I enjoy every morsel, every time the food particle tickles my tongue. Happiness is truly a good bite to eat. And that is exactly what I was doing when I ate that vanilla ice cream.

Suddenly, I felt someone poking me from the side. I woke up from my trance, and saw my mom with an angered expression on her face. I raised an eyebrow and looked around the table. Everyone had a deadpan expression on their faces. 'What's their problem?' I wondered. Then I looked down and realized what I was doing.

My hand was cupping the bowl, and my tongue was swirling around it. I was licking the bowl! Oops. My face turned into an unknown shade of red as I placed the bowl back on the table. 'Excuse me,' I mumbled and ran to the restroom. I could hear roaring laughter behind me.

Needless to say, I gave up my licking habits, though my tongue still finds the bowl occasionally :)

xxx

In other news, I have received my very first award, courtesy Kaddu (miss_terious) Thank you so much :) It really means a lot to me! I further pass this award to Meghana and umangexuberance. Cheers!

There's also an ABC tag to do along with this, which I will do in my next post :)

All the Attached Ladies!

2009-08-24T12:44:00.002+05:30

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!

Dear attached ladies,

I have been meaning to talk to you for a while. Yes you, right there. The one with a doting boyfriend, a cute crush, a lifelong partner. I really need to talk to you. Especially the ones who are my friends.

Please, please, for the love of humanity, spare me the details of how amazingly awesome it is being in a relationship. Don't tell me about how your respective other (henceforth known as 'he') keeps you up at night sending you lovey-dovey messages. Don't tell me about how he writes you love songs. Don't tell me about how he likes to cuddle you post-romp. Don't tell me about your first kiss, the first time he held your hand, the first time he told you he loves you. Don't make me your alibi if you're going out of town just to meet him. Don't tell me about how you fall asleep on the phone at night, and he's still on the line listening to you breathe. Don't tell me about how he sends you flowers everyday. Don't tell me about how he tells you he misses you everytime you talk. Don't tell me about how he is going to fly down from another country just to meet you. Don't tell me about your fights and how you much you hate him, when the next moment you're going to go right back to him again. Don't tell me about your uncertainties and doubts. Don't tell me about in spite of everything, you really, truly love him.

Because it just makes me realize how lonely I am.

Love,
Single Lady.

Tagzie!

2009-08-22T20:36:00.002+05:30

Have been tagged by Ire. Danke! :)

I further tag Himanshu D, Meghana, zephyr

1. What time did you get up this morning?

08:00 AM. Cannot sleep beyond that.

2. How do you like your steak?

Living and munching on grass and not in my stomach. Bleargh!

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Kaminey!

4. What is your favorite TV show?

How I Met Your Mother

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

No place like Bombay

6. What did you have for breakfast?

Bread rolls - bread stuffed with mashed potato and deep fried. Mmm...Nothing spells good food like deep fried! :D

7. What is your favourite cuisine?

Italian, American

8. What foods do you dislike?

Certain vegetables like tinda, parwal, karela..and the likes!

9. Favourite Place to Eat?

Little Italy, 5 Spice, Dynasty, The Pizzeria and home, where mommy serves the best food!

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?

Haven't driven in about three years now

12. What are your favourite clothes?

Jeans. My second skin!

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

Spain, South Africa

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

Why should it be half? It should be full :)

15. Where would you want to retire?

Nainital if I am healthy, Bombay if I'm not!

16. Favorite time of day?

Early morning

17. Where were you born?

New Delhi

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

I hate sports

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

Clueless

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

Anyone!

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

All!

22. Bird watcher?

I love crows and sparrows and kites!

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Morning!

24. Do you have any pets?

I wish! :( I am yearning for a dog.

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?

Some awesome prospects coming ahead in my life! Whee!

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

A doctor. I was prepared to splice a cockroach. BLEARGH!

27. What is your best childhood memory?

Playing atrocious games with friends, laughing our heads off, studying (or trying to!) for upcoming exams, watching cartoons while sipping on hot bournvita...sigh...

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

Dogs! Always

29. Are you married?

Nope, and never will be

30. Always wear your seat belt?

Always

31. Been in a car accident?

Plenty. But since I'm a woman driver, I am forgiven and not beaten to death

32. Any pet peeves?

Where do I begin!!!

33. Favourite Pizza Toppings?

Barbecue chicken and mushrooms

34. Favourite Flower?

The ones JMudoh gave me when we first met. I don't know what they're called but they're really pretty!

35. Favourite ice cream?

Chocolate and black grapes

36. Favourite fast food restaurant?

McDonalds, Joeys..

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?

Never!

38. From whom did you get your last email?

Sneha S

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

MAC Cosmetics!

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

Nothing yet, but soon!

41. Happy with your job?

At least I have a job!

42. Broccoli?

is love

43. What was your favorite vacation?

SCM tour to Dandeli

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

At Manju's place for an excellent South Indian spread

45. What are you listening to right now?

Slayer!

46. What is your favorite color?

Purple

47. How many tattoos do you have?

Will have one next year

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

Three

49. In What time did you finish this quiz?

10 minutes

50. Coffee Drinker?

Occasionally!

Facebook

2009-08-17T11:32:00.003+05:30

Facebook. Excellent for a few good laughs. I'm sorry if you don't understand Marathi (I don't either!) Basically, this gentleman wanted to be my frand. Click on the image above to see what happened. And yes, that's the baby me :)

Get over it!

2009-08-17T09:18:00.003+05:30

Swine flu - the latest 'pandemic' hitting the world. It's the next worst thing since the Spanish influenza that had killed millions in 1918.

Swine flu's latest victim - Bombay.

Are we in panic? Hell yeah.

Should we panic? Hell no.

Every other news channel you flip through, you'll see the Arnabs and the Rajdeeps hollering 'Swine flu! Swine flu! Oink Oink!' If you are ready to buy into the hype they are causing, then you better be walking around wearing condoms - AIDS kills more people all over the world than what Swine flu has.

People are walking around wearing masks like Doomsday has come over us. But once they are eating or talking, they take it down and put it on again. That makes you twice more vulnerable to getting infected than walking around maskless.

I must admit, I had initially bought into the hype. My sister came home one day with a cough and a sneeze, and I ran around the house tearing out my hair thinking it was swine flu. I practically begged her to go to Kasturba and get checked for an infection. Luckily she didn't go, and I too got rid of my paranoia.

With the wise words of Douglas Adams in 'A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy', I conclude :

Don't panic.

GM Diet - I Slipped

2009-08-09T23:09:00.003+05:30

It had to happen people - I slipped. Today was the sixth day of GM diet, and I broke it.

I don't know, but I just could not take it anymore. Today was going to be rice for breakfast, lunch AND dinner, and just the thought put me off. I could not do it. Instead I opted for regular home-made food. Had roti after a week.

Should I feel bad or guilty though? I don't know. I know what you're thinkin..I just had one more day to go! I could have finished the damn thing. But I just couldn't do it. But I came this far...and I applaud myself.

Also, I have lost 6kgs. 6kgs..wow..my clothes are loser..and you have no idea how happy that makes me. I am planning to do this once every month, and try to stick to the whole seven days.

Would like to thank you all for being so supportive, even though I could not complete this. I will try again next month.

Thanks for reading, and supporting :) See you shortly with my regular, nutty posts :)

GM Diet - Day 5

2009-08-08T17:54:00.003+05:30

Today is tomato and rice day. I'm supposed to eat two tomatoes, and a cup of rice today. Rice. I almost forgot what it tastes like. Let's see how today goes.

8:00 am: Woke up
9:30 am: Ate two really cold tomatoes.
11:00 am: Ate another tomato.
1:00 pm: Ate some brown rice with tears in my eyes. Rice. Glorious rice! Along with a tomato.
5:00 pm: Ate two tomatoes.
9:00 pm: Ate some more brown rice.

Delicious! And now only two more days to go! Wohoo!

GM Diet - Day 4

2009-08-07T09:40:00.006+05:30

We're rolling to the fourth day peeps. Three more days to go! I'm gonna do this!!! Unfortunately today happens to be banana and milk day. DAYUM!!! I don't know how I will take it. Let's hope this goes better than I think it will!

7:00 am: Woke up, as usual feeling full.
7:45 am: Had (read closed my nose and gulped) half a glass of sugarless skimmed milk with one banana.
9:45 am: Had another banana.
1:00 pm: Gulped down a glass of sugarless skimmed milk, which I almost puked, along with three bananas.
1:36 pm: Chewing on gum. I'm sorry I slipped, but I can't help it! The bananas and milk are making my mouth dry and scratchy. I had to change the taste!!!!
4:30 pm: One more banana. Lips dry as hell for some reason.
7:00 pm: Banana time!
9:15 pm: Last banana of the day

That did it. Wow. It was not as hard as I had expected! Wohoo! Tomorrow is going to be a good day...cause I get to eat rice!! YAY!!! -tears of joy-

See you on the other side!

GM Diet - Day 3

2009-08-06T09:19:00.009+05:30

Forward March! It's Day 3 of GM diet. And yes, I have some good news!! I have lost 2 kgs! (That's 4 lbs, I think!) Wow, I am happy, and even more motivated to continue in this quest!

Though there are some weird things happening to my appetite. On the first day, I was really craving carbohydrates, but today I have come to a point where I have almost forgotten what bread tastes like! I have this constant feeling of fullness, but I am also craving something. I just can't understand what, though. Anyway, today is fruits and veg day. Let's see how it goes!

7:00 am: Woke up with a nauseating sensation. Felt awfully full and like I was going to throw up.
8:00 am: Ate an apple halfheartedly.
9:30 am: Ate half a bowl of papaya. Felt extremely nauseous, so could not finish the rest.
1:00 pm: Ate another 100kgs of salad. Couldn't finish the whole thing, once again. Was too nauseous.
3:30 pm: Craving for toast and butter. Finally! I know what my body craves!
4:00 pm: Two sweet limes. Gag reflexes back.
7:30 pm: Palak and tomato soup. Bleargh.
9:00 pm: Bottle Gourd again. YUCK

Today was truly a challenge. OMG. I can't look at another carrot for as long as I am alive.

If today was bad, tomorrow is like Mount Everest for me. Banana and milk. But I'm going to be like Edmund Hillary and climb that shit!

Wish me luck!

GM Diet - Day 2

2009-08-05T08:48:00.007+05:30

Yesterday was really really hard! I really thought I would not be able to last the day, let alone the week. But I pushed through, and I survived! Today is all veggie day, and I think this should be better (I hope I don't regret saying this by the end of the day! hehe)

7:00 am: Woke up feeling full, strangely!
7:45 am: Ate a baked potato. Relished it, in fact!
9:40 am: Ate raw cabbage. Hated the after taste, but feeling quite full.
1:00 pm: Munched on at least 100kgs of salad. Ate some beetroot, and looked like a vampire.
2:32 pm: Feels like I'm gonna puke.
4:00 pm: Had a tomato and some more salad. Can't eat anything more now or I'll explode!
7:00 pm: Drank some pretty unappetizing looking Spinach-Tomato soup. But it didn't taste so bad.
9:00 pm: Ate a bowl of bottle gourd. BLEARGH!

And that was my food intake for the day. I felt kind of light through the day, but also extremely sleepy. I think that's a good thing, cause I can sleep now to get my mind of food :)

You know, I think I'm gonna last :) 2 days down, 5 more to go!

GM Diet - Day 1

2009-08-04T09:34:00.008+05:30

Hello peeps! It's time I did some changes in my life, given my back problem and stuff. But anyway, I don't want to bore you with that.

So let's talk about GM diet. Does anyone know about it? Well, I did some research, and found out that GM actually stands for General Motors! This diet was designed for employees of GM to help them have a healthier lifestyle. It balances out the chemicals in your body, and so help you reduce weight. My colleague tried this diet and lost 4 kgs in one week! :O The best part of the diet is that you don't have to starve yourself. You can eat as much as you want to, but only what is prescribed for the day.

So here I am, trying the GM diet. It's a one week diet, and I thought it would be nice to chronicle this 'epic' event. Today is all fruit day. I am averse to too much sweet, so this is going to be a challenge! Wish me luck, and here we go! :)

7:00 am: Woke up
7:45 am: Munched on an apple. Craving for an omelet and toast.
9:40 am: Ate an entire papaya. Craving for roti.
1:00 pm: Ate some watermelon. Feeling numb and light-headed.
3:55 pm: OMG! I really need carbohydrates!!!
4:30 pm: Ate some sweet limes like a rabid dog. Licked some salt and thanked The Almighty for creating it. Feeling a little better.
6:00 pm: Had some coconut water. Enjoyed the taste!
6:30 pm: Saw a Pizza special episode on Food Paradise. Almost died.
7:00 pm: Had some pomegranate. Felt full.
9:00 pm: Had an apple. Not feeling bad at all!

Phew. So that does it with the food intake for today. I felt a little numb and weird all day long. But right now I'm feeling good. I think I can last this week!! Hoping for the best!

If you would like to try the diet out yourself, visit this website.

I hope I can make it through to the seven days!

Free Resource

2009-08-03T10:43:00.002+05:30

Free Resource -- The two most dreaded words a person could hear if that person works in my office.

Of course, I had to be the person who heard it.

What is a free resource?

A free resource is a person who sits around in office, staring at their computer screens with absolutely no work to do. The person is meant to hang around as a standby till the time he gets on to another project.

Fun, isn't it?

Not so much fun if you're sitting idle in office for the first three months of joining this office. Yes, that happened with me! After those first three months, I was put on to a project, where I stayed till Friday. For this week, I am a free resource.

I have absolutely NOTHING to do. And I don't know how to spend my time. Any ideas people? I can't be on facebook and twitter for 8.5x5 now, can I!! So please help me! Give me interesting sites I could visit! I have access to youtube too, so if there are any cool videos, post the links here (please make sure they are safe for viewing at work!)

I think I'll take a nap now. Yawn.

Sayonara!

Epic Fail

2009-07-26T13:23:00.002+05:30

Excerpts from the worst interviews I have ever given. Be prepared. Also, I suck.

Can I have my resume back after this?

1. At a newspaper
Post vying for: Reporter

Interviewer (I): {laughing} Why have you written you are a non-smoker and teetolaer in your resume?
Me (M): {thinking up something funny} Uhh...cause I won't waste my time smoking and drinking and be more productive?
I: {laughing hysterically} This is hilarious. I think I'm gonna use this in my story on bad resumes.

2. At a radio station
Post vying for: RJ

I: So go on. Speak for two minutes on Mumbai.
M: {incoherent, awful two minutes later} So I'm done?
I: Yup. Thanks.
M: I was bad, wasn't I?
I: Yes.

3. At another newspaer
Post vying for: Reporter

I: Your resume looks good. I don't have anything to ask you.
M: Uhh..ok?
I: Anything you'd like to ask me?
M: Uhh yeah. What is my salary going to be like?

4. At an entertainment channel
Post vying for: Production

I: So, why do you want to do this?
M: You know, I don't really know. I'm trying to find my calling.
I: {laughing} What if this job isn't your calling?
M: Umm.. {nervous laughter. Awkward silence}

5. At another newspaper
Post vying for: Reporter

I: So tell me about yourself.
M: I'm a very average person. Never was good in studies.
I: Um. Ok.

6. At a web content place
Post vying for: Content developer

I: Your resume is very interesting. Looks like you have had some experience with camera work.
M: {rambles for 15 minutes on the nuances of camera work}
I: {yawning} You really want to do this job?

Last but not the least. Be ready for this one.

7. At a news channel
Post vying for: Reporter

I: So, do you watch the news?
M: Nope.

Epic, epic fail.

Is there anyone else with similar experiences?

How you doin'?

2009-07-20T10:49:00.003+05:30

Hello comrades!

My last post was about a week ago, and I could not update since, cause I threw my back out. Isn't that a funny term though? Threw my back out. I wish I could literally do that! Anyway, I was strapped to the bed, and just could not get out for a long time. I knew I had to post something, creative juices flowing and all. Sheesh.

So I went for an x-ray yesterday. And it was the worst experience of my life. I'm not kidding you! I felt so violated!!! First I had to strip down to the bare minimum, and wear this horrendous, ugly, used-by-a-billion-people gown. If I was a little larger than what I am now, I would not have been able to fit in it. The gown reached just above my knees. It was so awkward, pathetic, even. I felt like crying while the x-ray technician (who was, of course, a man) prodded me like I'm a sheep to get me into the correct position. Horrible, just horrible. The report will come out today, so finger's crossed.

I have been given these painkillers by the doctor that are making me so woozy! I have to take them thrice a day, so I am literally sleeping all the time. I wake up so light-headed, almost like I'm drunk. It's freaking me out, and it's not doing much for the pain either! So I've stopped taking them. I'd rather be in pain than be dizzy all the time!

Ok enough about my woes. I'm totally addicted to twitter now! Anyone else on twitter? Give me your id, would love to check that out. I'm at twitter.com/supriyaj Follow me, if you like! :)

I was watching 'The Pursuit of Happyness' yesterday for the billionth time. There is this line in the movie that has touched me deeply. Here it is:

"Lord don't move that mountain.
But give me strength to climb it."

I was so moved, I started crying. I've been doing that a lot lately! I blame the painkillers!

Oh is anyone else watching True Blood on HBO? I love it!!! It's sexay! And vampires! Drool! :K (these are my fangs!)

Ok that's all I can offer from my side. What's up with yours? How you doin'?

Don't Really Know

2009-07-12T14:21:00.005+05:30

Hello.

Today, I want to share something with you. Here is a part from my favorite book - The Twits by Roald Dahl.

"If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovey."

I have been feeling really ugly for the past few days now. I did some things I am not too proud of, and I've hurt a lot of people. Most importantly you. I know we're cool and all that, but I just can't help feeling bad.

I don't know what to say now. I feel depressed. I just want to be alone for sometime. Need to sort out my life.

Bye for now.

Tsk Tsk

2009-07-07T11:47:00.003+05:30

Microsoft still can't tell the difference.

Click on the image for a better view!

Hala Mala Mukashi

2009-07-01T08:59:00.003+05:30

Oye Oye..oye oye..oye ooh owaaa

I'm sick and tired of hearing how Australia is such a racist country. Think about it people. If a country whose ancestors were British convicts wont be racist, then who will?

Ok now to all mah Indian home dawgs. Let me give you a wake-up call. India is the most racist, sexist, religion-ist(?) country ever. You want proof? Go switch on your television/head to the nearest multiplex, and watch a Bollywood movie. Let me illustrate this point with a few examples.

In Bollywood movies, if you are:

A. Black:
1. You will have an afro.
2. You will wear a ridiculous bull ring around your nostrils.
3. You will almost always emerge from a jungle wearing leopard skin and carrying primitive weapons.
4. You will not know how to speak in English. You will either make monkey sounds (oye oye..oye ohh owaaa) or some unkown language like "Hala Mala Mukashi"
5. If you are a woman, you will almost always be fat, will have an afro, and will be referred to as "kaali saandh" (black bull)
6. You will mostly have a janatorial job, and will try to get fresh with the heroine of the movie, unsuccesfully.
Exception to the case: The black man in the movie 'Fashion' who actually got to sleep with Priyanka Chopra. Score!!

B. White:
1. You will always be blond.
2. You will always be in a group of 2-3.
3. Whenever you encounter a girl (i.e. our virginal beauty of the movie) you will always say your favorite dialogue "Yeah baby, come here."
4. You're always drinking whiskey.
5. You will try to get with our heroine, but her screams of "bachaooooo!" will ring in our hero's ears. And trust me, you don't want to mess with them. One man army, after all!
6. In any business meeting, there will be about 6 of you, and even if the protagonist is speaking in Hindi, you will nod your heads appreciatively, like you understand everything.
7. If you're a woman, you're almost always a prostitue and you will writh around our hero in ecstasy.
Exception to the case: The white man alongside Aamir Khan in 'Mangal Pandey'. Dude he mud wrestled! :O

C. East Asian:
1. You will all wear kimonos.
2. You will all have extra squinty eyes.
3. You will bow in respect incessantly.
4. You will have ridiculously long and wispy eyebrows and a goatee.
5. You will all be experts in judo/karate/taekwondo.
6. When you enter the scene, there will be a loud 'gong' sound.
Exceptions to the case: The east asian who played the baddie in 'Chandni Chowk to China'. He had none of these qualities! Total badass. Also the guy who played Deepika's dad in the movie...He spoke Hindi! :O

D. South Indian:
1. You will all be dressed in crisp half-sleeved white shirts and a white lungi.
2. You will always begin your dialogues with "Aaiyoo!"
3. You will have copious amounts of chandan on your forehead.
4. You will have typical South Indian music playing whenever you enter the scene.
5. You will constantly shake your head like a bobble head doll.
6. You will, of course, be dark skinned.
7. If you are a woman, you will wear only kanjivaram, and wear long mogra garlands on your hair.

E. North Indian:
1. You will have a thick Punjabi accent, and if you're a Sardar, your dialogues will begin with "Oye!"
2. Your dialogues will end with "Oye" too. "Oye Kuljeet Oye!"
3. You will always be attending some/will have a lavish wedding.
4. Your surnames will always be Kapoor, Oberoi or Sharma.
5. You will be the richest person around, and wont touch anything that isn't Hilfiger or Calvin Klien.
6. You will be the whitest person in the movie. Even whiter than the white girls who dance behind you in a zillion songs.
7. You don't live in India. It's either America or Australia.
Exception to the case: Shah Rukh Khan, who has played Raj in almost all his movies. He isn't white.

F. East Indian:
1. You will have thick oiled hair, parted in the middle.
2. You will wear thick bottle glasses.
3. You will wear a white kurta with a white lungi, which is almost always falling down.
4. You will always be chewing paan.
5. Your dialogues will always begin with "Oodi baba!"
6. You will be exceptionally stupid and brain dead.

G. Indian Christian:
1. Your name will always be Mary or Albert/Michael. Surname? Pinto/Gonsalves.
2. Men will always wear shorts and a Hawaiin shirt. They will always have a bottle of beer/desi daru with them.
3. Women will wear ridiculously ugly dresses, and will constantly say "Oh Jesus!"
4. You can't speak Hindi at all. "Hum tumhare waste pray karega. Tumko feekar karne ka zaroorat nahi hai." You will also end all your dialogues with "Man"..."What man?!"
5. They're always ready for a party.
6. Christian women are the easiest target for lusty males, after all, they have such loose morals.
7. Christian women are almost always pregnant.

To be continued...

P.S. This post is not meant to offend any person. Only the idiots who make such movies and create such stereotypes!

Vlah! Vlah!

2009-06-27T20:26:00.005+05:30

Click on the image to get a better view.

Can someone see a pattern here?

P.S. These are songs from my iTunes gallery :K

Things I'd do differently if I were 15 again

2009-06-24T23:12:00.002+05:30

1. I would hit YP where it hurt -- his ego. I won't let his constant bullying bother me, and just take it in my stride. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!

2. I would stop pretending to be with the 'in' crowd, and just accept that I was a loner. I would not spend my time trying to impress them, instead I would be with myself, and have other people come to me.

3. I would definitely NOT listen to the Backstreet Boys every time I would think about my crush.

4. I would care a FUCK about my marks, or who came first in class. I was and never will be a grade A student, and I'd just learn to live with that.

5. I would not waste my time and my dad's hard earned money on Chate classes.

6. I would not aspire to be a doctor (yeesh!) and instead understand my own potentials.

7. I would sing and dance like no one was watching. And even if someone was, I would give a damn.

8. I would make friends with A and U, because they were loners, just like me. And as I discovered in the class trip, (which was horrendous, fyi!) they were exceptionally cool.

9. I would rebel each and every norm there was.

10. In short, I would be exactly what I am today.

I wish there were more school-hating people like me. My only respite is Pink Floyd, who wrote my anthem "We don't need no education." So damn fucking true.

Ok I'm charged up now, and it's 11:22 pm. I suppose I should hit the sack now.

Yawn.

This is how I did it..

2009-06-16T21:25:00.005+05:30

School was a time that I would love to forget. I know most of you would love to go back to those "simpler" times, when your life revolved around getting good grades, hoping endlessly that the most popular guy/girl in class would look at you, and if you were the smart ones, then holding your noses as high as you could when you'd stand first in class.

Alas, I wish I could think like you all. For you see, I was a victim of incessant bullying by some of the worst boys I have ever known. My day would begin by YP and his gang of bullies pointing at me and laughing their heads off, and it would end the same way. They use to call me names, tease me, in a nutshell, they took pleasure in seeing me miserable.

YP was a very peculiar boy. He would give me mixed signals. On some days, he would tease me badly, and on other days, he'd try to impress me by his impression of The Rock (I was the only girl in class who would watch WWE).

I tried everything with him. I complained to the teacher (I remember the Librarian slapping him once. Score 1 for the fat girl!), I cried like a maniac, I tried ignoring him, I tried giving it back to him. Heck, I even tried to instill the fear of God in him! (God is watching you YP!! And one day, YOU WILL PAY!!) Nothing worked. Nothing at all! And he tortured me for four whole years.

It was one of the usual days, and I was being bullied. He used to sit right behind me, and he was making rude comments and high-fiving his gang every time I gave some sort of reaction. I was boiling in rage, I knew I had to do something.

I don't know what came over me, and I turned around and looked straight at him. He looked right back, his ever-present smirk on his face. I kept looking at him, and with a dead pan expression, I said:

"I think I know why you tease me. You have a crush on me."

His eyes opened in shock, and for a second, even I couldn't believe what I had said. But I continued:

"The fact is, you really like me, and this is the way of you expressing your feelings towards me. It's all clear to me now!"

He didn't say anything. He mumbled a few words and looked away.

And I swear, for a whole week, he didn't say one word to me. Not even a word. The best one week of my life! Of course he got back to making my life living hell, but still, I had my week!

Now I look back and wonder, what if what I had said was true. What if, in fact, he liked me? I wasn't one of the pretty girls, I was different. I still am! Maybe he used to tease me, because he felt if he told me he liked me, his gang would make fun of him. Male psychology is strange. Or maybe I am being psychotic by writing this! Anyway, I want to know what you think about this! Leave a comment and let me know!

****

In other news, I saw 17 Again on Sunday, and it made me think, what if I woke up as a 15 year old one day. Man, I'd do so many things differently. I shall share that in my next post! See you on the other side...

It's time!

2009-06-12T22:22:00.007+05:30

Here is something that has been bugging my innards for a while, and I knew, just knew, that I had to do a post about this. Maybe I will make this a continuous series, I don't know. But it really is time!

I am here, oh faithful readers, to give you a lesson in good grammar. Here are some quick and easy tips for you, so you can achieve better writing results!

Disclaimer: I aint no grammar guru, but these are just basic lessons everyone should know!

1. First and foremost, it is spelt GRAMMAR, not GRAMMER. -shivers-

2. '...' are called ellipses. If you must use them, use them only in threes. For instance: "Oh I thought...I thought you were serious!" and not "He stood in the corner.....................................and saw her standing on the other side."

3. Chatspeak. Stay as far away as you possibly can. "OMG..lyk u r so funeee!!!!!!!!" sounds like an adolescent talking, and is really unfit for normal writing situations. Writing "Oh my goodness, you're so funny!" is not very hard to type.

4. 'You're' is short for 'you are'. Your is short for nothing. It denotes belonging.
Wrong: Your so cute. (Your what is cute?)
Right: You're so cute.

5. 'Common' is defined as belonging to or participated in by a community as a whole; public; "for the common good", or having no special distinction or quality. It is not another way of saying 'Come on.'
Wrong: Common, dance!
Right: Come on, dance!

6. Exclamation points. Use them more than twice, you're really a lunatic!
Really wrong: Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok: Wow!!!!
Great: Wow!

7. Inverted commas. These are very important for dialogues. Try not to write them without these. Also, a full stop, exclamation point, or comma always comes before closing the inverted comma.
Really Wrong: I love you she said.
Wrong: "I love you", she said.
Right: "I love you," she said.

8. Serial commas. I learned these very recently. These are commas used immediately before a conjuction.
Wrong: I ate chocolates, lolipops and chewing gum.
Right: I ate chocolates, lolipops, and chewing gum.

Well, that is all for now. Most people know I am a crazy grammar freak, and I just wanted to share my so-called 'knowledge' with you. I hope these lessons help you, and who knows, I may come back for more! Let me know what you think!

Strange

2009-06-09T12:12:00.006+05:30

I meant to share this incident the very next day of my birthday, but blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol *cough* I mean, blame it on laziness and boredom! But I am sharing it now, so read, and please, please, let me know what you think.

So we had gone to this South Bombay club, and we had reached the place at 11 in the night. There were seriously crickets chirping inside, there were hardly 10 people inside. I was kinda shocked, cause it's South Bombay, and a Friday night. I thought the place would be jam packed. Anyway. The DJ was playing some really old English music, stuff I hadn't even heard before. All my friends were sitting at a couch, some yawning, some trying to make conversation. I was excited as hell, so I was dancing randomly to the music.

A few minutes later, three goras (two guys and one girl) came and sat on the couch opposite ours. I could not understand their chemistry, cause as soon as they entered, Male Gora 1 (henceforth to be known as Charsi) pinched Female Gora's (henceforth to be known as Drunky) butt. Then, Drunky proceeded to make out with Male Gora 2 (henceforth to be known as Cutey-but-drunk). I didn't pay them much notice, I was in a zone of my own, dancing stupidly. A few minutes later, I looked at them, and I saw they were playing air-guitar, and head banging. Strange. Maybe they were inspired by me or something.

An hour went by, and the night picked up. The music was a little better, and more people started coming in. Drunky and Charsi were dancing like crazy...they would put any dirty dancing fan to shame. Charsi even did a snake-charm dance by taking of his shoe and playing an imaginary flute to it. That was so hilarious, I started imitating him, and making my friends laugh. Big mistake.

Another half an hour went by, and the music was really good now. So we were dancing in a group by now. We were really in the groove, and all of a sudden, Charsi comes over, and runs his gora-fucking-hand on my shoulder, all the way to my palm. And then the dumbass actually proceeded to dance. I stared at him with a 'What the fuck?' expression on my face. And the fool actually imitated it and looked back at me. Too shocked, I just walked away from the group, and sat at a chair. DM then told him "Back off, she is not comfortable." So Charsi did back off. Then each and every girl in my group came to ask me "Are you ok?". Yeah I was ok. A charsi just ran his arm me. Sheesh.

If you think this was strange, please, read on. I was sitting at the chair, and this really old, pathetic, ugly man (henceforth to be known as Lecherous Fuck) comes and stands at the bar, a few feet away from me. He did this really strange dance that DM saw too. She came over to me and we were laughing hysterically. BIG MISTAKE!

Lecherous Fuck then went away. A few minutes later, he came back and stood at the same place. Do you get this strange sensation sometimes that someone is staring at you? I got that, so I looked at him. And the lecherous fuck actually had the balls to make a really really obscene gesture towards me. My eyeballs had literally hit the floor. Then he looked at me as if to say come over. I was so disgusted, I was holding my vomit back. Yuck! The nerve!

He went away again, and I was shocked out of my mind. I had a dazed expression on my face. What the hell just happened. Again my girlfriends came over to ask what happened. I just couldn't say it. Lecherous Fuck then sat at a couch a few feet away from mine, and again he was staring at me. Yeech. This time I didn't look, and thankfully Cutey-but-drunk was passed out in the middle couch, so he was obstructing his view. Then, the lech actually looked at my friend, and tried to tell her to get me to look at him. That did it. I told the girls let's get out of here. And we did. I didn't even want to acknowledge the old fuck, so I didn't look at him.

If you think this was stranger, please, oh please, read ahead. We reached DN's place, and of course, we had to have a discussion of what had happened to me. And, it was popular opinion that everybody had respect for the Charsi cause he didn't come back after DM told him to back off!!! WHAT?? I was touched by a man, against my wishes, and you have respect for the Charsi? WTF? What if he had grabbed my boob, then? Would you still "respect" him? Of course, they were all laughing, so no point putting my arguments to them. As for lecherous fuck, we had a lot of choice words for him. I won't be mentioning them here.

All in all, it was an experience I will never forget.

I want to know from you, oh reader, whose side are you on? Me, the abla naari, or those two raging hormones assholes?

And if Charsi or Lecherous Fuck are reading this, just go FUCK OFF!!!!!

Dum De Dum

2009-06-07T10:35:00.003+05:30

Shot some photos yesterday. Sharing two of the best ones here. Let me know what you think!

A rose growing in my garden

Dad

That Night - Conclusion

2009-06-04T22:47:00.009+05:30

(Please read Parts 1, 2 and 3 first)

29th September, 2004
Mumbai, 10:00 pm

Raj sat in the corner of his room, shaking in terror. Whatever happened to his friends were not mere co-incidences. There had to be some connection. They were both brutally killed, ripped apart. He couldn't get those images out of his head. Those photos were splattered all over the newspapers, and the news channels were speculating some supernatural force. Of course Raj didn't believe in that mumbo-jumbo, but he couldn't discount what had happened to his friends. He didn't know of anyone who would want to kill them. They weren't bad guys, didn't hold any grudges. At least that's what he thought.

He had not been sleeping at all since Sameer's death. He would doze off here and there, but he would not get any sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw Sameer's body hanging from the tree, his intestines twisting around his neck. He would see Yash's eyeballs protruding from his skull, his crotch only a deep depression.

He was in a state of fear at all times. He started being on his own all the time. It had been so long that he had had sleep, that his eyes had completely dried out. His parents were really worried out him, but he just wouldn't let them come close to him. He wanted to be left alone.

Tonight was one of those breezy nights. The breeze was hitting against Raj's window, making creaking sounds. The house was absolutely silent. He didn't know when, but the atmosphere just made him really sleepy. He tried to stay up, but just couldn't. He closed his eyes, and went off to sleep.

Raj woke up in complete white. There was nothing he could see in the horizon. All white. He felt his heart pounding in his chest. "Hello?" he cried out, taking a few tentative steps. He walked a good ten minutes, but it was leading him nowhere. Was he walking in circles? He could not tell. It was white all around him.

Raj was sweating profusely, and he felt the ground rumbling under him. What's happening! He looked at the floor, shaking violently now. He saw cracks developing on the pristine white, and soon enough, found himself falling through a gaping hole. He was so scared, he just didn't know how to react.

It was completely dark now. Pitch black. He felt himself strapped into a chair. He was breathing hard, the silence just cutting through his ears. "Whoever is doing this...please stop..stop" he sobbed, closing his eyes. He heard a slight mechanical voice, like a rusted door hinge. He opened his eyes, and found himself starting into a pair of red ones. The eyes transported him back to that night, and saw everything once again. He screamed, startled, and he felt the red eyes jumping away from him.

"Wait, stop...who is it..Are you responsible for my friends' death? What have we done to you?" The light came on. It was so bright, Raj was taken aback for a second. He looked around him. He was sitting on a chair, and his hands were strapped to poles on either sides. Right in front of him sat a black cat, its red eyes gleaming in the light. Raj trembled. "Please let me go, what have I done?" The cat hissed, baring its teeth. The mechanical voice grew louder, and it was coming right over his head. Raj looked up and screamed.

A chainsaw was positioned right over his left hand. He looked at the cat again. "No, please stop! Let me go!" The cat hissed again, and the chainsaw started with a sound that made his heart leap out of his mouth. It was moving slowly towards Raj's shoulder, and he screamed, trying to break away from the straps. He started crying, looking at the cat. "Please...I beg you...please!" Over the whirring, he heard a soft voice. "Did you listen to me when I begged?" Raj looked around, and he couldn't see anything. Even the cat was gone. He looked back up and saw the chainsaw ready to make contact with his shoulder.

"No!" he screamed, as he felt the machine rip through his flesh, his bones crunching right out of his body. He wailed in pain as his left hand sliced right out of his body. He fell to the ground, his right hand out of the straps. Even in immense pain, he knew he had to escape.

He looked around, but there was nothing. Only white. He saw a large wall at a distance. He somehow stumbled to it, and sat down against it. He cradled the wound, watching the blood seep through his shirt. He cried loudly. He finally understood why this had happened. He leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. He understood.

He heard a noise coming from behind the wall. Before he could turn, he felt a sharp pain right through the middle of his head. He looked up, a large claw was sticking right through it. He gasped one last time and he was gone.

From the other side, the cat retrieved it's claw back through the wall. The blood on its' paw looked enticing, so it took a little lick. It cringed in repulsion. Human blood was so disgusting. It then began walking away from the lifeless body, its tail swishing in the air. Its' work was done. But it will come back again, soon.

****

June 05, 2009

Mumbai, 12:25 am

Reshma finally finished the story and hit 'publish post' on her blog. Her readers were anticipating what happens next, and the finale was really explosive. She stretched and got up to go to bed.

She heard a loud purr from behind her. Her heart sank, and she turned around. A black cat was staring right at her, its' red eyes glowing.

Reshma stared back, breathing hard. She smiled. "Lucifer! You scared the shit out of me! Now let's hit the sack."

Lucifer cocked his head to the side and purred, following Reshma out of the room.

The End.

************************************************************************************* Here it was, the ending to the 'That Night' story. Before I close the chapter on this, a few thank yous are in order :)

1. The inspiration for this story came from this story by Nikki. I noticed that she hadn't been killing people in her recent stories, and most of her awesome and thrilling descriptions turned out to be dreams. Writing this story was really cathartic, I'd say. So thanks Nikki, for being so inspirational :)

2. Next, I want to thank my sister Priyanka, and my ex. They gave me some pretty gruesome ideas on how to kill the three guys, and well, I hope the story did their ideas justice!

3. Last, but not the least, I want to thank YOU, the reader, for reading this story, and encouraging me to post more of it. I really hope you liked what I have written. You guys rock!

All images were found on google. None have been shot by me!

This story is dedicated to all women everywhere.

See you all soon :)

Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!

2009-06-02T09:24:00.002+05:30

I haven't been able to update my blog because I was still on a happy high from my birthday. Not that I got drunk. I didn't even drink. But waking up till 6 in the morning, just being with my friends took a toll on my I-sleep-at-10 body. However, it was so much fun, I am not even complaining.

First, I just want to thank all my blogger buddies for their birthday wishes. Thanks much! :) I feel speshul! :D

Next, I am still deciding on Raj's fate (from the That Night series). I have thought about something really gruesome, but I'm still fitting the pieces together. Maybe tomorrow. I will try. Such stories need a lot of inspiration, and 2-3 days in office will definitely give me the inspiration I need!

Nextest, I got some really awesome gifts on my birthday! Mom and dad gave me a gorguss diamond ring (which I chose myself!), a DVD player, and a Christian Lacroix perfume. My sister gave me the bestest gift...she drew a portrait of me! It is so life-like! I will definitely post it on my blog soon. Niks, Ms. G and Rash gave me a super cute purse, and I am going to flaunt it soon! Ms. D gave me a purple stole (my fav colour!!) and a necklace and ear rings. My colleagues gave me a super cute white bag (which I am using right now!) and ear rings. What a haul I say! I am blessed! :)

Ok, I have a long, long, long day ahead at work (that's where I am posting this from!) I best be leaving now, must catch some zzzs...I mean work my butt off!

Thank you all, once again!

So long...

2009-05-29T10:22:00.003+05:30

Today is my last day on this blog.

As a 22-year old, that is!

Tomorrow, I will turn the big 23. Most people expect me to be depressed about the fact that I am, in fact, 'growing up', but honestly, I don't feel anything!

The last time I was truly upset was on my 19th birthday. It was my last year as a teenager. I was crying, I didn't even want to cut the cake. I was lost, disillusioned, angry and upset. But what can be done, I can't stop time, no one can. So I just accepted the fact that I will grow up. I will even be a 60 year old after exactly 37 years, so no use bitching.

But one thing remains, I will always be a 19 year old at heart. As my sister says 'age is only a number', and I agree wholeheartedly! Even today, people look at me and say "What college do you go to?". My gym instructor had once asked me "What are your school timings?" and I just stared at him and said "Uhh...I have a job". He stared at me, his mouth hanging open. Whatever..guess being fat has its advantages! ;)

So anyway, I turn 23. And I am going to turn 23 with some of my closest friends, dancing the night away. If you're nice to me, I may even post some pictures here!

Oh also, on a side note, I wont be doing a 'That Night' update tonight, well, for obvious reasons. So wait till tomorrow to read Raj's fate!

Cheers! (Literally!)

That Night - III

2009-05-28T22:29:00.002+05:30

(Read these first to make sense: Part One, Part Two)

19th September, 2004
Mumbai, 11:30 pm

Sameer sat at the park bench, stubbing his ninth cigarette. He leaned back and closed his eyes. The past few days had been traumatic, with Yash's gruesome death. There were no suspects, the police were clueless of how he was killed. Yash's mother had gone into shock, and she kept looking for a black cat. Sameer, on the other hand, was numb.

Raj had just left a few minutes ago, leaving Sameer on his own. He just wanted to gather his thoughts before he could go back home. The wind was howling really loud that night, the trees making weird shadows on the ground. Sameer looked up at the moon for a bit, staring at the hollows and the 'face'. Tears streamed down his eyes as he remembered how the three of them would sit at the same place each night, getting high.

Sameer had not been sleeping since that night, and he was really tired. He didn't realize when, but sitting at the park bench, his eyes closed, and he drifted off to sleep.

Sameer was deep in his sleep, and he felt something brushing against his legs. He opened his eyes and looked. It was a black cat, and it was rubbing against his legs, purring softly. It's fur was sikly, and gleaming in the moonlight. It was so beautiful. He wanted to pet it.

"Here kitty, come here," he said, patting his thigh. Obedientaly, the cat jumped on him and perched itself on his thighs. It was looking up at him, it's lucid white eyes staring at him. "Aren't you cute?" he said lovingly, petting it. "What's your name?"

The cat lifted its front paws and leaned against his chest. Its was staring right at Sameer. He felt his heart beating faster, he began trembling, and felt like he was being pulled inside the cat's eyes. A flash of white, and he was back into that night. He saw everything, once again. He saw himself pushing the girl down, slapping her hard each time she screamed. He saw Yash almost choking her. What was going on? Was this a dream? It had to be one. He closed his eyes and shook his head really hard. Wake up!

He opened his eyes and he was back in the park. He looked around him in a start. No cats around. So it was a dream after all. He had to get away from this place. He was scared out of his mind.

As he got up, he felt something wet trickling down his face. He touched his cheek, and looked at his fingers. It was a sticky, thick liquid. Blood. He screamed, and felt blood seeping from his whole body. His clothes were drenched, and his face felt like it was going to explode. He fell to the ground, shaking uncontrolably.

The silence of the night was cut by a loud purr. He looked to his right, and saw the cat looking at him, cocking his head to the side. It slinked close to his body and licked its lips. "No...no..no! Stop this..please!" he cried out.

But how could the cat understand what the human had to say? It raised it's paw high, it's claws out now and made a quick swipe.

Sameer's scream echoed through the park.

***

20th September, 2004
Mumbai, 7 am.

"Buddy, slow down!" Ramesh Ojha said, running after him. Buddy, the two year old labrador, was never this excitable during their morning jogs. He was pulling furiously at his chain, dragging Ramesh along with him.

At a distance, they saw a small black cat sitting in the middle of the track. Buddy stopped and stared at the cat. "This is gonna be a good day!" Ramesh said, staring at the cat. "Shoo!" he shouted, and the cat ran away. Suddenly, Buddy broke free from his leash and sprinted behind the cat. "Buddy!" Ramesh shouted, running after him.

Buddy ran further, and further inside the park. A steely smell was hanging in the air. By now, Buddy had run too far away from Ramesh. "Buddy!" he called out, making his way through the bushes. The smell was very strong now. Ramesh covered his nose, and stopped in his tracks.

Buddy was sitting under a tree. And from the tree hung a body, it's intestines twisting around the branches. Blood was still dripping down, and the drops were falling on Buddy's head. Ramesh muffled a scream and called Buddy to him, but it was too busy gnawing on something. "Buddy!" he shouted furiously, and the dog came to him, wagging his tail. He dropped whatever was in his mouth at his master's feet. And it was a human tongue.

The cat stood behind the tree, observing the human. She closed her eyes for a second. One more to go.

TO BE CONTINUED...

That Night - II

2009-05-27T21:06:00.004+05:30

(Before reading this, please read the first part. Or it wont make any sense. Strong language and theme ahead. Read at your own discretion. LONG POST AHEAD!)

16th September, 2004
Mumbai, 11 pm

Yash was exhausted. He had reached home at 9 in the morning and had been holed up in his room the whole time. He didn't know what he was feeling, but there was a strange sensation inside him. "It's probably just adrenaline" he thought to himself. After all, he had pulled off something he had been planning to do for a while now. Oddly enough, he didn't feel happy about his 'success'. He was just exhausted.

It was 11:30 in the night and Yash was on his bed. He stared at his hand, the blood had dried, and it felt numb. The painkillers were working. His heart raced as he thought about the events of the night before. A shiver ran through his spine as the image of the cat came to his mind. He shuddered. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

He didn't know when, but he woke up with a start. His eyes were wide open and he looked around the room. It was pitch dark, so all he saw was blackness. He was covered in sweat and breathing hard. "Relax..relax.." he whispered to himself.

He was about to close his eyes again when he heard a loud creak. He stopped breathing. Another creak. "Who's there?" he said loudly. He wanted to sit up, but he felt a strong force pushing him down. "What..what's going on?" he said again, his mouth dry.

He felt something on his leg. And whatever it was, it was making it's way to his chest. He opened his mouth to scream, but no voice came out. It was all a vacuum. He was breathing hard now, scared out of his mind. His chest felt heavy all of a sudden, something was weighing it down. A pair of white eyes stared directly at him.

The eyes were shining bright, and there was hardly any black. Yash had seen those eyes before. The eyes got closer and closer till they were only an inch away from his. It was the cat, and it had come back for some unfinished business.

Yash was struggling hard, but he just couldn't move. He tried screaming. He even began chanting in his mind. The eyes were staring right at him. He felt like they were pulling him in. There was a flash of white, and Yash was transported back to the fateful night. He stood there, watching him and his friend's forcing themselves on the girl. He saw the girl screaming in pain, tears streming down her eyes. He saw Sameer hitting her repeatedly. He covered his eyes, and screamed in silence.

He was back in his room, the white eyes still on him. This had to be a dream. "Wake up Yash..wake up!" The cat began purring. It was walking away from his chest. He felt the blood rushing to his head, shaking horribly. He felt the cat trailing down his stomach, it's paws padding against his body. Suddenly it stopped. Yash wished there was light so he could at least see where the cat was.

The cat was sitting right below his belly button, and its paws were digging deep into his skin. And the claws kept growing, and growing till they had completely penetrated inside him. He screamed in pain as he felt one paw pulling out his body.

The cat raised its paw, and swiped hard. Yash screamed out loud, but the world around him slept in peace, for he could not be heard.

xxxx

17th September, 2004
Mumbai, 9 am

Sunita Choudhary was pounding on Yash's room. "Wake up beta, you'll be late for work!". She waited a good five minutes before she opened the door.

Suddenly, a black cat emerged from the room. It looked up at Sunita, purred, and slinked past her. Sunita screamed and stumbled into his room. It was completely dark. "Yash...Yash?" he was lying on his bed, and wasn't moving a muscle.

She opened the curtains, and looked at her son. She screamed and fell faint.

His eyes were rolled all the way up the socket.

What used to be white linen sheets were now a bloody mess.

His crotch was severed, mutilated, in fact. There was nothing there but a deep depression.

The cat stood outside his house momentarily. Licked it's paws. And it was gone.

The deed was done.

TO BE CONTINUED....

WTF?

2009-05-27T13:06:00.002+05:30

What the FUCK is going on in India?

I am so shocked, I don't even know what to say. Please watch this video.

Shocked.

That Night

2009-05-26T21:12:00.002+05:30

(Strong language, depictions ahead. Read at your own discretion!)

15th September, 2004
Mumbai, 3 AM.

"You like that bitch? Yeah, yeah?"

He pumped harder and harder. Her body was writhing in pain, struggling under him. But he couldn't hear her screams, for they were only muffled. Raj had gagged her, while Sameer pinned her hands down. They were both looking at her, lust in their eyes, drool dripping from their chins.

"I'm next," Sameer said, wiping the sweat of his brow.

"Fuck off dude, it's my turn," Raj growled, pushing Sameer.

"Will you two shut the fuck up?" Yash groaned, his body heaving. He got up from the now-still body, and pulled up his jeans. "I'm going for a smoke. You fucks finish this cunt."

Yash walked away from the scene, and muffled screams filled the empty parking lot again. He had almost reached his car, when he felt something shuffling beside him. He turned suddenly, but he didn't see anything. He shook his head and started walking again. Was he loosing it?

There was an eerie silence as he reached his car. He couldn't even hear the girl's screams anymore. He reached into his pocket to get his keys, and fumbled with it. With a clang the keys fell to the ground, and rolled under the car.

Shakily, Yash reached down to get them. He reached underneath the car. He felt his hand brush into something furry, and suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his palm. "Argh!" he cried, pulling back, and looked at his hand. Three deep gashes had formed, blood seeping out.

"Fuck!" he said, tears stinging his eyes. He kicked his car, and from underneath, a black cat walked out. It was an unusual looking cat. A regular cat would have run away, but this one stood still. It was looking up at Yash, its black fur gleaming in the moonlight. The whites of its' eyes were so clear, it was almost as if it didn't have any pupils at all.

"What are you looking at pussy cat?" Yash growled, pressing his hand. The cat continued staring at him. It didn't move a muscle. "What? You wanna scratch me some more ha? Stupid fucking cat!" With a gusto, he kicked the cat right in the face. It fell down motionless, but didn't get up.

He walked over to the cat and nudged it a little with his shoe. It wasn't moving, limp and lifeless. "Good riddance!" he said, getting into his car and liting up a cigarette. Some time later, Sameer and Raj joined him.

"What did you do with her?" Yash asked. "Who gives a fuck," Sameer replied, "Now hand me that cigarette and let's get the fuck out of here."

The three of them piled into the car, and sped away.

The cat was still lying there. It wasn't breathing, it wasn't moving.

In fact, it had been dead for the last 200 years.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Work Porgaars

2009-05-23T23:20:00.003+05:30

Found outside the building's lift:

No comments. Waiting for yours!!!

How to survive the corporate world

2009-05-22T22:03:00.003+05:30

I have been working (trapped?) in a corporate for more than 7 months now. And even though I am still a newbie, I have a sharp sense of perception. I can say that I have learned a lot. For all the newbies, the ones who are just entering, or on their way to, I am sharing my tips on getting ahead in the corporate world. Just follow these tips, and I am sure you will be a head honcho (asshole?) in no time!

1. Look Busy:

Corporate world is like a see-saw. Sometimes you will be burdened with work, loaded, in fact. On some days you will be a free bird. This rule applies to the days when you have no work to do. The most important thing to remember is --- look busy! Even if you spend eight hours clicking furiously on the mouse, playing Solitaire, look like you're in the middle of completing a zillion dollar contract with a prospective client. Have a constant frown on your face, staring at your screen, put your fingers on your lips, sigh often...you get the idea! People who can't directly see your computer screen will think you're working super hard. But we all know the truth, don't we? ;)

2. Talk softly:

This rule comes with a 'but'. Talk softly, but only to your subordinates. Even if you are on the other side of the room, only a mere whisper is required. The subbies will come running. When they are close to you, speak even softer, be as incoherent as possible. The subbies will stoop to hear your words, reminding you of colonial India, you playing the part of the gora ruler, and the subbie a mere servant. Give them instructions, and they will do the needful, while you get back to your 67th game of Solitaire.

3. Talk loudly:

This rule also comes with a 'but'. Talk loudly, but only to your superiors, or to the ones level with you. Believe the world waits with baited breath about your every move. Everyone wants to know about your life. Take for instance, your colleague comes along. Even before he says hi, loudly declare "Dude!! I totally slept with XYZ last night! HIGH FIVE!" Then look at the minions around you, staring at you in awe. Laugh loudly for no particular reason. Be loud till the point of being obnoxious. When in fact, it isn't. People in your office are papparazi, and you are just giving them what they want - you!

4. Rent a house:

Location, location, location! Right? Right! It is of the utmost importance for you to rent a house, or if you can afford one, buy a house. But where? Right on your boss' ass. That's right. Live there, if you can, because nothing can get you ahead like a living in your boss' ass. Make your boss believe you're the best thing that has ever happened to him/her. Agree to everything they say, be at their beck and call. And you are on your way to head honcho world.

5. Blame others:

You are God, and God doesn't make mistakes. Even if your slight, oh let's say mishap, has cost your company 10 bazillion dollars, it wasn't your fault. Simple. Blame it on the subbie. They are just cockroaches anyway. Easily replacable. And since you are God, the subbies will take the fall, just for you. You are just that great!

And here you go. My tips on getting ahead in the corporate world. I'm sure they will help you out!

Now leave me be. I am just about finishing my 90th game of Solitaire!

P.S. All these tips are based on personal experiences which happen to me each and every day. And yes, I AM a subbie.

Fake friends

2009-05-21T13:44:00.003+05:30

I'm feeling so pissed off right now, I don't even know where to begin.

What is the deal with fake friends and fake friendship?

Why so many expectations?

The fake smiles, the fake 'i care for yous', the fake 'i love yous'.

No you don't care about me, you don't love me.

Why this facade? You know you will forget me in a matter of months.

Then why this fake friendship?

Why?

Memories

2009-05-20T10:32:00.002+05:30

It's been about two years now, since I finished the SCM course. I woke up this morning with a sudden sense of nostalgia. I realized I was missing the place. I was missing everything that happened to me, everything that changed me, when I was in SCM.

For those of you who don't know, SCM is short for Social Communication Media, which is also a fancier version of just saying Mass Communication. It's offers all subjects in Mass Communication within a year, but only to women! (Girl power!). It was quite a task we accomplished, finishing this course. If you want to know more about the course, go here.

Perhaps the most fun we had was while shooting for our documentaries. Our group made one on the NGO 'Childline'. It was a lot of fun shooting, and when I was not on camera duty, I was put on production. That happened to be as much fun as shooting itself.

We mostly shot around Mumbai Central station. As every bombay dweller knows, every station in bombay is crowded. Mumbai Central is a hub station, since outstation trains also stop here. So anyway, we would set up our shooting equipments, and a huge crowd would gather, wanting to see what we were doing.

We wanted to keep the shoot as natural as possible, and a hoard of people looking directly at the camera didn't do so. So when I was on production duty, I came up with a solution.

As soon as people would start gathering, I'd scream on top of my lungs "Arre bhai, yahan Shahrukh Khan nahi aane waala hai..please side..side..side!" People would stare at me with bewildered expressions, but it managed to do the work. They would go away. Eventually! Ms. G, the other production person followed suit, and would do the same whenever I was on the camera.

There were so many other fun and amazing moments, which I will share soon. But this is all for now!

MAC Haul and a grouse

2009-05-17T18:17:00.009+05:30

Every girl has an addiction.

My beautiful wifey Nikki is addicted to heels.

As for me, I'm addicted to makeup.

For as long as I can remember, I have been a makeup hoarder. I've loved creamy glosses, smoky liners, sparkly blushes..the list in endless! But my philosophy has always been less is more. But, more on that later.

My birthday is coming now, in a matter of two weeks! (May 30th). It has also been a while since I did a good makeup haul. MAC just launched in Inorbit Mall, and well, all my dreams came true! :D

So there I was, standing like a kid in a chocolate factory, staring at the smorgasbord of makeup all around me. I drooled, drooled some more, and finally made a beeline to something I have always wanted to buy - Lipglass!

I brought two gorguss colours, and just to make you jealous, here are some pictures..

Ooh, I wonder what's inside?!

Lychee Luxe and Flashmode? Sounds like love!

Lychee Luxe is delicious!

Flashmode...Very flashy indeed!

Here are the two beauties together. Sigh. I'm in love!

Needless to say, I'm never throwing away the packaging, and I'm going to use these on very special occasions! My very first MAC makeup! Whee!

Now on to the grouse.

Have you ever noticed the women who are trying to sell makeup to you? Oh my GOD! Who told them it's cool to slop high amounts of blue eyeshadow and red lipstick? Geez!

The ladies at MAC were no different. Dressed in black from head to toe, and it looked like a drag queen had done their makeup. I was appalled! If after using their makeup we'll end up looking like trannies, then thanks, I don't want any! Sheesh!

That'll be all for today! :)

Robin! What have I done to you?

2009-05-15T16:10:00.005+05:30

Lol. This is so hilarious!!

I'm not explaining anything. I hope you are SMART ENOUGH (-points to RadRid-) to understand!

LOL! Can't stop laughing!

Drumroll please!

2009-05-14T09:05:00.004+05:30

Hi everyone! Today is the last post in the 'Celebration' series, and it's going out with a BANG!

And here it is, the final post. Consider this a continuation of something I have done in the past.

YES! It's 'Quotes' by THE J Mudoh.

Having trouble remembering? Read this first.

Here it is, the second installment of 'Quotes you will remember forever!'

Random conversation on the phone:

Me: Ok, so give me a quote.

J-Man: I wanted to give you this for the last post, but I guess you can use it now: "When I'm asleep, I love not to wake. When I'm awake, I love not to sleep.

Me: I thought you were gonna give you your 'did you know*....' waala quote.

J-Man: Ohh...which one..? Do you know i have...tubelight wala? (insert me laughing here). The funny thing is, I am the only one who is going to find this funny.

Me: Next!

J-Man: hmm..hmm...hmm..hmmm? Ok here it is - People who read subtitles are blind.

Me: Wtf?

J-Man: This has a deep meaning, you see! A movie is watched for a movie, not for it's subtitles! So, in effect contradictory, if you read subs, you are blind. (Long pause, and a sigh) See, I have made it easy for you slow people!

Me: ooooohhh!

J-Man: Are you typing everything I'm saying?

Me: Almost!

J-Man: (Pause) I'm not saying anything right now. (Hears typing) You wrote that too?

Ok you want to write something, write this! - (singing) la la la la la laaa..la la la la la laa....la la la la laaaaa

You wrote that too? Ha..ha..ha..ha..haa..haaa..giggle giggle giggle.

Me: Ok, so that's giggle, giggle, giggle.

J-Man: Fyi, I don't giggle anymore. I'm not a metrosexual anymore.

Me: Were you ever?

J-Man: No (laughter)

Do you know what I had for dinner?**

Me: Lunch.

J-Man: Oh. hahahahahahaha.

Yeah, so I had 2 glasses of lime juice, 2 glasses of lassi, rice, 2 more glasses of lassi, chocolate, bourbon biscuits, that's s, plural...ssssssssssssssssssss..now I'm going to have tea. Fully loaded with alcohol, I mean sugar, I mean...good stuff. Yeah.

Random quote by J-Man: I feel offensive.

* tube-light waala: J-Man has an electric starter tube-light in his room. So, in his words, when he switches on the light, it switches on immediately 'TING!'. He has also mentioned this fact to be about 5 billion times, and he says it each time like he is saying it for the first time.

** what I had for dinner: J-Man doesn't know time. He always says "Have a good dinner", when it's lunch time and vice versa. Also, he doesn't do it on purpose. :|

Ok I'm done! I hope you enjoyed reading this, as much fun as I had being in the coversation! It's always fun talking to the J-Man! If you liked this, let me know..maybe I will make this a more recurring feature!

Also, thank you all again for supporting me! Thank you to all the contributors, you increased my humble blog's 'shaan'. :)

Now, I go on to being my own regular, random self!

<3

Boo!

Love, Love, Love, Love

2009-05-13T22:26:00.001+05:30

I'm not giving any introduction to this for fear for my life.

Just, it's not written by me.

Enjoy!

FOR YOU...

Settling of dust
As the last speck rests
New visions unfold
Like a pot of Gold.
In those bleary eyes
I envisage
My dreams yet again
I sew them with love and pain.
You sprinkle
Those cool droplets on my soul
Feeding my existence
Fading away my penance.
On new shores
My ship wants to move
To withdraw the anchor
And immobility too.
Voices around
Don’t cause a sound
A flutter from you
Causes feelings renewed.
Oh! How I go
From the couldrons of my mind
For you there
Is all that binds.

Sigh.

Have I saved the best for last? Tune in to find out!

The Incredible Bulk

2009-05-12T18:19:00.003+05:30

My sister, the great PJ, has sent me this hilarious post about anger management. I am still laughing hard! Enjoy! :)

THE INCREDIBLE BULK

Today I, Priyanka Joshi, will be reveling my one and only true identity. Yes, at home or at college you might call me “The girl with the short hair” or “The girl with the average height” or “The girl with the chipped tooth” but that all changes when it comes to me on the road.

The moment I’m stuck in traffic or am being pushed around by discount craving, mall hopping, Sunday shopping women, who just can’t apologize, my true identity is reveled, “The Incredible Bulk”.

The fury starts from my toes and in a flash reaches my cranium and the blood bath begins and the arena is in my head.

A choke slam to the auto wala who just overtook my ride.

A kick to the mid section to the man who is crossing the road in a blur, though any minute now a vehicle will kill him in a second, and yet gloat while going to the other side (I have seen more intelligent chicken).

A punch in the jaw to the sorry excuse of a woman who just can’t stop screaming out to her kids to grab the last bag of discount rajma so that she can fart on their faces the next time they cause trouble.

A knife through the intestine of the auto walas who communicate in 3 ways when you tell them your destination:

1. If the answer is yes then they just stare at you expecting you to understand that the stare means a yes.

2. If the answer is no then nod their head and go away.

3. And the worst of them all, the ones whose answer is no and don't even bother to tell you if they will go. The simply dash away without saying anything, like they are the reincarnation of speed racer himself.

However, since these things can send me to court, leading to imprisonment, 70 years in jail through trial and finally a death sentence I perform these acts in my head. It is a sorry excuse of a life I know. Yet, if you ever find me glaring at you, flaring my nostrils, shaking my head and clenching my jaw you know that you are currently being mutilated.

Hahahah! This was so hilarious! Only two more posts left! :)

Hindi Hain Hum!

2009-05-11T09:28:00.003+05:30

Here's a poem Rashmi has donated to me, and it just happens to be in Hindi! Check out her blog.

Naya Saal...
Aaya naya saal nayi tarange nayi umenge lekar
baaton hi baaton beeta peechla kayi sapne dubokar
par kehta hai ye dil mera
har raat ka hai ek naya savera

kuch aisi yaadein joo peeche chooth gayiin
kuch aise pal joo saath chood gaye
yaad aate hain woh din bitaye the joo saath humne
bhool payenge naa unhe chahe kisi haalat mein

ek uljhan mein hai dil humara
kaise swagat karen iss naye saal ka
bahein faela kar ya aankhein jhuka kar
mann kii toh uljhan sulajh naa payi kabhi
par khush rahenge hum bhi ye wada hai
kiya humne khudse yahin bas yahin abhi.....

Just two more days left for celebration..Then I go back to my regular, random, blabbering posts! :)

<3 you all!

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