Moving On

Life is all about changes, isn't it? The sooner you accept this, the better your life, in turn, will be.

On Friday, 20th July, 2012, we had to move houses. From a home where we spent more than 20 years, we would have to start all over in a new one. For the longest time, I just could not come to terms with that, so I chose to ignore it. But as the moving day came closer, my heart kept sinking. Everything I saw around me started reminding me of particular memories.

The old house had not been painted in very long, so paint was peeling all over. But there was a distinct shape this had created on the wall above my bed. So when I woke up everyday, I saw that mark, which to me looked like a horse. Somehow, this horse-like shape was very comforting to me.

There were a lot of such small things around the house that made me feel really sad. The day the movers were supposed to come home, I did not want to wake up at all. But once I started packing stuff myself, I just did not have the time to be nostalgia.

13 hours later, our house was empty, as was I as I took a stroll around what used to be my room. Suddenly, everything seemed so 'pariah', as they say in Hindi. I did take one last look at my horse-shape mark and it was still as comforting as ever.

And now, I am in the new house. It's been three days, and all of them have been spent in unpacking and arranging. I still don't feel at home here, perhaps in a while. Perhaps there will be a comforting mark on the wall here as well. Only time will tell. For now, I accept change.

Vacations?

Remember your last day of school before summer vacations?

The last paper? That intense giddiness you felt while planning the months of nothingness that lay ahead?

Fifteen years ago, that was me in the classroom. I filled supplements after supplements with rubbish. I finished my paper 1 hour before time, my heart racing with each passing minute. That was me, jumping with joy as the bell rang, ending the semester and beckoning the holidays. I was that girl in the school bus, dancing and singing, loosening my tie. Reaching home, jumping on the bed and finally settling down, I would smile and think to myself "life couldn't get any better."

Fifteen years later, it's Summer vacation again. Except this time, I'm not that girl anymore.

P.S. I am thinking of shifting to wordpress or tumblr. Thoughts?

The Crush...

It's just..a little crush

From the age of 10 to 15, I had a massive, massive crush on a boy in my class. He was fairly popular among the girls, good at sports, great at science and an all round good guy. Seriously, who wouldn't fall for such a person? Well, I fell. And I fell hard. You know that kind of longing you experience, where your heart beats harder each time the person walks by? When you secretly cry thinking he would never be with you? That's how it was with him. I never told him how I felt, and it took me 2 years to finally get over him.

After him, I never felt the same about any guy. Of course, I fell in love and was in a relationship, but I must honestly admit that I didn't have a crush on him. And I don't think you can equate a crush with love. Of course if the crush is mutual and it develops into a relationship, there is nothing better. But that never happened with me. My first crush didn't surmount to anything, and my first love was no crush. Weird, but true!

But now, dear readers, at the risk of having that person read this post, I am about to reveal the second crush of my life. Now this crush is completely different from my first in the sense that it isn't longing I felt for him. It was awe...maybe what I will feel when I finally meet John Abraham (YES IT WILL HAPPEN! POSITIVE THINKING!). I will not name him, but let's call him...umm..Guru (I have no idea why!)

Now you will all remember when I went to Delhi for an internship, right? Well, Guru was the editor of the magazine where I interned. The very first time I saw him, I was actually taken aback. Was this man for real? Tall, fair, brown eyes, curly hair, thick lips..that was just from the outside. Then he shook my hand and his deep baritone voice boomed "Hi Supriya, we really need you!" And in my head I thought Oh my! I really need you too!

It was crush at first sight. I found myself staring at him during breaks, my eyes twinkling (maybe my pupils dilated to little hearts, who knows?!). I sighed every 2 minutes, and I remember I drooled a fair bit too! I was a bumbling mess each time he spoke to me. His voice literally made me weak in the knees.

Then came the most memorable day of my life. It was decided that we would go to Chandni Chowk for some exploration and a shoot too. A day earlier, Guru texted me about the next day's details (I still have that message saved. Sigh) We all met up at work, and once we were all in, we were on our way.

We first went to Haldiram's, where Guru treated us all to chole bhature after which we all split up and went on our way. I crossed my fingers and prayed..oh please let me be on Guru's side..and thankfully, I was! I did a little jig when no one was watching, and I silently followed Guru as we started exploring Chandni Chowk.

We walked a lot, and spoke a lot too. Walking the small cramped lanes, the cold weather and Guru's company made me feel like I was on a set of some movie. So surreal.

Once we were done we started walking towards the Metro station. It is a long walk, and we were both very tired. "Shall we get a rickshaw?" Guru asked and immediately I felt my heart thudding loudly. I would be sitting so close to him! We hailed a cycle rickshaw and I gingerly sat next to him. I know it sounds so cheesy, but I felt an intense emotion being in such close proximity. I swear I felt myself blushing, my face was on fire. It was the most epic time I have ever ever had.

Of course the ride got over soon. He was such a gentleman - he helped me out of the rickshaw. I wish I could describe how I felt exactly, but right now the words are just not coming to me. I would just say it was one of the best feelings.

So Guru, if you're reading this, YES, I did have a crush on you (seriously, who wouldn't?) You are my real-life John Abraham :)

The Ass Biter

A long time ago, Diwali vacations meant long hours of nothingness, inventing and playing weird games, fighting with siblings, eating delicious food and other such all-round goodness.

GRR! Gimme back my ball!

On one such balmy vacation evening, a bunch of us were hanging out at the park. General random mutterings were shared. We were all sitting around doing nothing, when we heard loud shrieks. Two kids were fighting with each other over some reason, let's just assume it was cricket. They were hitting each other silly when two of the older boys came and separated them. One of the kids (let's call him Prakash) huffed angrily and went away. The other one (let's call him Avinash) adjusted his t-shirt and came walking towards us.

A good ten minutes passed, and our random mutterings were still on. Avinash was standing on my right, talking about something. We were all lost in conversation, when we heard a loud cry. Prakash was screaming his head off, running straight towards Avinash. He looked like Leonidas entering the battlefield.

"THIS IS SPART..sorry..AVINAAASHHHH!" he screamed and lunged towards him. All this happened so quick, we were too stunned to react. Prakash must have missed his mark because he landed near Avinash's feet, missing him completely. I guess Prakash had a backup plan in mind, because the very next second, he pounced on his ass and..I kid you not...started biting it. His mouth was filled with a meaty chunk of Avinash's ass, and he held on to it like some wild animal.

Avinash howled loudly and tried to free himself from Prakash's death-grip, but he simply would not let go. Again two boys came and separated them, while the rest of us were falling on the floor, laughing our guts out.

I miss Diwali vacations!

Some Updates

*Lately, I've grown really, stupendously hot. Dear reader, I wish 'hot' meant sexy, but not in my context. I have been sweating half my body weight out every single day, and I hate that. The worst part is that the sweatiest part of my body is my face. Not armpits, like regular people. Had to be my face. It feels like I've come out of a sauna every time I enter my office, and it feels so horribly gross. I even carry around a huge-ass napkin. Is there a cure for sweatiness? Oh I really hope there is!

*I have fallen in love with 'Shaam' from the movie Aisha. I know I am late, but I am not really an appreciator of Hindi music. But there's just something about that song. I have heard it on loop at least ten times, and I loved it more each time. However, I am also sure I will get sick of it by the end of this month. The same happened with Train's 'Hey Soul Sister'.

*I wish I could update this blog more frequently, but I guess I am suffering from a permanent writer's block. I do hope it doesn't permeate into writing for the magazine, cause that will totally suck! There are so many things I want to share, but as soon as I touch the keyboard, I loose it. I am freely writing this post, maybe that's why I am able to write it. Hmm. Maybe I should do that more often.

*Flipkart is my latest haunt. I have ordered so many books lately, the guy who couriers them to my home told me he has never delivered so many books to one residence! I guess that's cool, right? Currently I'm reading Stephen King's The Shining. After I read Carrie, I knew I had to read The Shining. I have finished about six chapters now..nothing scary...so far! The next book on its way is All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory John. Can't wait for that one!

*I miss talking to this friend of mine, with whom I don't speak anymore. We had the best, most random conversations. I used to shout at him, we fought a lot, but then we made up too. We spoke for hours over the most stupidest things. And now, we don't talk anymore. How things change, eh?

*I read my very first byline in the magazine, and I dedicated it (in my mind) to my grandfather. Long ago, I had told him that when I write a book, I will dedicate it to him. This article, of course, is not a book, but it's a start. It's my name in print. And I dedicate it to him.

*Diwali is here! Yay! It's my favorite festival of all time! I love dressing up, the lights, the sweets. I could live without those blasted fireworks! Dhadam, dhudum, dhadam! Fuu! Hate them. I wish some inventor creates a noise-less, pollution-less alternate to fireworks. Wouldn't that be epic?

*I miss being in love. I can't say anything more on this topic. Let's just say, I love you all :)

Shaadi.com?

These conversations are getting very regular at my house these days. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'm growing old without my knowledge. Feh.

itchy crotch!

Mom: बेटा, तूने क्या सोचा है?
Me: किसके बारे में?
Mom: शादी के बारे में!
Me (sighing): और मुझे शादी के बारे में क्यूँ सोचना है?
Mom: तू बड़ी हो गयी है अब! मैं लड़के देखना शुरू कर रही हूँ.
Me: Laughing hysterically, almost falling off the couch
Mom: हस मत. तू नहीं चाहती किसी सुन्दर से राजकुमार के साथ तेरी शादी हो?
Me: तू कर ले शादी. I'm happy as I am.
Mom: नहीं बेटा, अब दो साल में तेरी शादी करनी है. मैं तेरी प्रोफाइल बना रही हूँ shaadi.com पर.
Me: बना दे...लेकिन मेरी photo ज़रूर डालना.
Mom (pausing): दो साल हैं...तू बिलकुल shape में आ जाएगी! कल से diet शुरू!
Me (slapping my forehead): हे भगवान्! मैं ऐसे इंसान से क्यूँ शादी करूँ जिसके लिए physical appearance ज्यादा ज़रूरी हो?
Mom: It matters
Me: UGH!
Mom: तेरे मामा भी कह रहे थे अब उम्र हो गयी है तेरी...
Me: I'm only 24!!
Mom: जब मैं 24 थी, तू पैदा हो गयी थी...
Me: ..and you're still regretting that decision!
etc..
etc..
etc...

Marriage. Ugh. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. I've never ever seriously thought about being married someday. And now I'm being bombarded with such conversations from various family members and acquaintances. I'm only 24 people! Is that too old for Indian marriage standards?

Sometimes I feel I'm just not built for marriage. I'm lazy, immature, irresponsible - no saasu maa will want me for a bahu (good riddance in my books! ;D) But just in case, by some freak incidence, I do get married in two years, this post would have been completely useless, and I'd probably be deleting it then (in case my to-be saasu ma is net savvy).

BLEH!