The Crush...

It's just..a little crush

From the age of 10 to 15, I had a massive, massive crush on a boy in my class. He was fairly popular among the girls, good at sports, great at science and an all round good guy. Seriously, who wouldn't fall for such a person? Well, I fell. And I fell hard. You know that kind of longing you experience, where your heart beats harder each time the person walks by? When you secretly cry thinking he would never be with you? That's how it was with him. I never told him how I felt, and it took me 2 years to finally get over him.

After him, I never felt the same about any guy. Of course, I fell in love and was in a relationship, but I must honestly admit that I didn't have a crush on him. And I don't think you can equate a crush with love. Of course if the crush is mutual and it develops into a relationship, there is nothing better. But that never happened with me. My first crush didn't surmount to anything, and my first love was no crush. Weird, but true!

But now, dear readers, at the risk of having that person read this post, I am about to reveal the second crush of my life. Now this crush is completely different from my first in the sense that it isn't longing I felt for him. It was awe...maybe what I will feel when I finally meet John Abraham (YES IT WILL HAPPEN! POSITIVE THINKING!). I will not name him, but let's call him...umm..Guru (I have no idea why!)

Now you will all remember when I went to Delhi for an internship, right? Well, Guru was the editor of the magazine where I interned. The very first time I saw him, I was actually taken aback. Was this man for real? Tall, fair, brown eyes, curly hair, thick lips..that was just from the outside. Then he shook my hand and his deep baritone voice boomed "Hi Supriya, we really need you!" And in my head I thought Oh my! I really need you too!

It was crush at first sight. I found myself staring at him during breaks, my eyes twinkling (maybe my pupils dilated to little hearts, who knows?!). I sighed every 2 minutes, and I remember I drooled a fair bit too! I was a bumbling mess each time he spoke to me. His voice literally made me weak in the knees.

Then came the most memorable day of my life. It was decided that we would go to Chandni Chowk for some exploration and a shoot too. A day earlier, Guru texted me about the next day's details (I still have that message saved. Sigh) We all met up at work, and once we were all in, we were on our way.

We first went to Haldiram's, where Guru treated us all to chole bhature after which we all split up and went on our way. I crossed my fingers and prayed..oh please let me be on Guru's side..and thankfully, I was! I did a little jig when no one was watching, and I silently followed Guru as we started exploring Chandni Chowk.

We walked a lot, and spoke a lot too. Walking the small cramped lanes, the cold weather and Guru's company made me feel like I was on a set of some movie. So surreal.

Once we were done we started walking towards the Metro station. It is a long walk, and we were both very tired. "Shall we get a rickshaw?" Guru asked and immediately I felt my heart thudding loudly. I would be sitting so close to him! We hailed a cycle rickshaw and I gingerly sat next to him. I know it sounds so cheesy, but I felt an intense emotion being in such close proximity. I swear I felt myself blushing, my face was on fire. It was the most epic time I have ever ever had.

Of course the ride got over soon. He was such a gentleman - he helped me out of the rickshaw. I wish I could describe how I felt exactly, but right now the words are just not coming to me. I would just say it was one of the best feelings.

So Guru, if you're reading this, YES, I did have a crush on you (seriously, who wouldn't?) You are my real-life John Abraham :)

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(stop it please. stop)

"Nice to see you Mr. Khurana"
"Nice to see you too"

(wouldn't I love to blow your FUCKING BRAINS OUT!)

Too tight.
Too tight.
Too

(I should leave)

Tight.

Yeah baby
Harder.

(Scream for me bitch. SCREAM!)

Blood. Brains.
Brains.
Blood.

(What did I do? No! No!)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


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The Ass Biter

A long time ago, Diwali vacations meant long hours of nothingness, inventing and playing weird games, fighting with siblings, eating delicious food and other such all-round goodness.

GRR! Gimme back my ball!

On one such balmy vacation evening, a bunch of us were hanging out at the park. General random mutterings were shared. We were all sitting around doing nothing, when we heard loud shrieks. Two kids were fighting with each other over some reason, let's just assume it was cricket. They were hitting each other silly when two of the older boys came and separated them. One of the kids (let's call him Prakash) huffed angrily and went away. The other one (let's call him Avinash) adjusted his t-shirt and came walking towards us.

A good ten minutes passed, and our random mutterings were still on. Avinash was standing on my right, talking about something. We were all lost in conversation, when we heard a loud cry. Prakash was screaming his head off, running straight towards Avinash. He looked like Leonidas entering the battlefield.

"THIS IS SPART..sorry..AVINAAASHHHH!" he screamed and lunged towards him. All this happened so quick, we were too stunned to react. Prakash must have missed his mark because he landed near Avinash's feet, missing him completely. I guess Prakash had a backup plan in mind, because the very next second, he pounced on his ass and..I kid you not...started biting it. His mouth was filled with a meaty chunk of Avinash's ass, and he held on to it like some wild animal.

Avinash howled loudly and tried to free himself from Prakash's death-grip, but he simply would not let go. Again two boys came and separated them, while the rest of us were falling on the floor, laughing our guts out.

I miss Diwali vacations!