Friday, 31 October, 2008

...In which I am confused for a "famous" movie star

{True Story}

I was coming home from work yesterday, when the 'auto-wallah-bhaiyya' struck up a conversation with me. This is how it went.

Characters:
Iggy: Me
Auto-wallah-bhaiyya: Him

Setting:
Open roads, no traffic, Iggy is being dropped home by Auto-wallah-bhaiya.

Scene I, Act I:
Auto-wallah-bhaiyya: Aaj trafic bahut kam hai (Traffic is very less today)
Iggy: Haan..Aaj chutti hai, is liye (Yeah, today is a holiday, that's why)
A-w-b: Parso itna traffic jam tha, SV road se yahan aane tak Rs 40 lag gaye (The traffic was so bad day-before, It took Rs 40 to come from SV road to this point)
I: Baap re! (OMG!)
A-w-b: {Laughs}
I: {Grins}
A-w-b: Madam, aap filmon me kaam karti ho na? (Madam, you work in movies, don't you?)
I: {Eyes open in shock} Nahi! (No!)
A-w-b: Achcha. Mujhe aisa laga ki maine aapko filmon me dekha hai. (Oh. I thought I had seen you in the movies)

Scene I, Act II:
I: {Excitedly} Waise, aapne mujhe kaunsi film me dekha hai? (By the way, which film have you seen me in?)
A-w-b: Arre woh film aati thi na..jisme aap college me the..aap moti si {Cue the fat person arms thing*} Sabki dost banti thi? (That film..in which you were in colege..fat..you used to be everyone's friend)
I: {Excitement dies. Cue depression} Guddi Maruti?
A-w-b: Haaan! Wohi! Aap bilkul waise dikhti ho. (Yes! Her! You look exactly like her)
I: Uhhh...Thank you? {Raise eyebrow here}

Scene I, Act III:
{Awkward pause}
I: Guddi Maruti abhi Buddhi Maruti ho gayi hai (Guddi Maruti is old now)
A-w-b: {Laughter}

Fin
Curtains
----
*Life Lessons from The Iggylicious:
{sarcasm}

What is the fat person arms thing?: During communication, when someone wants to denote that a person is fat, he or she does the fat person arms thing. This is very useful in case the person he or she is communicating with is deaf and cant understand he or she is talking about a fat person.

Example:
John Doe: 'Sup Deaf Bob. Did you hear about Fat Fucker?
Deaf Bob: What? I can't hear you.
John Doe: Fat Fucker, dude!
Deaf Bob: What?
John Doe: (moves his arms like a turkey) FAT FUCKER!
Deaf Bob: Oh! Fat Fucker! Yeah. He's a slutface.

That brings us to an end to this episode of Life Lessons from The Iggylicious.

Go fuck yourself!
{/sarcasm}

Wednesday, 29 October, 2008

Sorry!

Hello everyone!
Sorry I haven't been able to post in a while, my computer has gone all PMSey on me! I will post as soon as my computer is fixed! (Hopefully, today!)

I am writing this post from my office, which is very hard to do, since 90% of the internet is blocked. As my friend Mudoh once told me, "Are you in China or what?!"

Well, since I am able to post, I would like to wish everyone a very Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year. I have taken a lot of Diwali photos, which will be posted soon for you all to see.

Hmm...what else is new? Yes, MDT has been receiving a lot of hits! Interesting! I guess my teenage years were not as bad as I thought they were. Hey, at least they make for a good read! (I think/pray/hope!)

That's all from me for now. Promise to post soon!
Love and Luck,
ME!

Saturday, 18 October, 2008

MDT: Of Christmas, Crushes and more

Here's a continuation of My Diary as a Teenager..Read on!

23rd December, 2002

Dear Diary,
I'm really sorry for not writing to you!

One day before Christmas! I'm so excited! The weather has become cold, and it feels refreshing!

Guess what? I got to colour my hair again! And this time, it's noticeable! Actually, it's damn noticeable! I like it!

Rambo has become a
little boring now. He's too predictable! I think I'm falling out of love with him!!!

Exams are coming near, and unless I get above 70%, I wont get a mobile phone. :(

Ok, so (a family friend..let's call him Mr Raju) came to our home to meet us on last Saturday. His son (let's call him Bart) also came with him. He looked sooooo AMAZING! What A Babe! I couldn't stop staring at him! But I know my manners and also my darn bad luck! :(

There's a little chance that we are going to have a re-union. I'm soooo excited for it!

We went to see Kante yesterday. Such a big YAWN. We saw it in a crappy theatre. Don't even get me started on the cheap crowd! After every two minutes, the men were running to the bathroom to ma******te! There were loads of 1/2 naked bimbos in the movie, so it's a little obvious!

I should be heading out now, I will write soon!

Lot's of love,

Supriya

Nope, I didn't get above 70%, but I still got a crappy Samsung cell phone.
And yes, my hair was red, noticeable red.
I'm worth it!

To be continued...

Saturday, 11 October, 2008

-le sigh-

I went to the mall with my bestest friend in the whole wide world today. She gets me like no other person can. She knows everything about me, even what I'm thinking at the exact moment. Anyway, back to the mall.

So we were at the food court, and I was idly playing with a french fry (I'm still bummed out) and she pokes me.
"What?" I say, popping the fry in my mouth.
"Don't look now, but there's a gorgeous specimen of the male species on the table to your left."

I rolled my eyes. You see, her tastes in men are vastly different from mine. She's more tall, dark and handsome. I'm more tall, skinny and long hair. So as I attempted to turn to my left, I never expected to see what I saw.

It was an actual, live specimen of a gorgeous male!

He was sitting there in a white ganji and a brown cargo-bermuda type thing (what are they called?) with brown sandals looking all uber cool and relaxed. My first impression -- hmm..seems like those guys from the gym. Brawn, no brain. I turned back to my best friend (henceforth to be known as RadRid).

She pokes me again.
"What!?" I say, looking at her.
She doesn't really say anything, but wiggles her eyebrows, so I turn to him again.

I gasped and almost fell of the seat.

He was reading.
A book.
Not Playboy.
Not Maxim.
Not even Vogue (which eliminated the fact that he might be gay!)
He was reading a real-life book.

"Ok, I must be dreaming, cause this is my dream guy!" I said, staring at him dreamily.

"You should talk to him" RadRid said.
"Yeah right..I think we should just leave!" and so we did!

So we were in Crossword looking at some CDs. RadRid was checking something out as I picked one myself. As I got up, who do I see standing behind RadRid? Mr. Gorgeous himself.

I can't stop smiling! RadRid looks at me, and now it's my turn to wiggle my eyebrows. She turns back, looks and him and then looks at me.

"You're retarded," she says.

"Whatever!" I sigh happily.

That's why I believe in Karma.
And I am also going to have happy dreams tonight.
Many many happy dreams!

Friday, 10 October, 2008

U is where it's all at!


What is your life rated as a movie?
U (G) Your life is rated "U", for universal.

Very infrequent use of very mild bad language, almost no séxual content and no drúgs involved - your life is very "safe". There is almost nothing that you are doing that would cause offence to someone!
Fun quizzes, surveys & blog quizzes by Quibblo

My Diary as a Teenager (Or just, MDT)

Consecutive post, yay!

Ok, so I was rummaging through my junk yesterday (I sometimes clean when I'm bummed out. Read post below) and I came across a very ancient notebook, which used to be my diary as a teenager. This was probably my only successful diary, written from the first page to the last. I guess the 'teen angst' had to come out somewhere, and my diary is testament to that. It contained everything: love, hate, anger, jealously..you name the emotion, it had it! I thought it'd be a fun idea to share it with you, oh reader. The stuff isn't really that personal, so I'm not calling for public humiliation in any case! So here goes! My diary as a teenager..


P-R-I-V-A-T-E

Take a peak, if you seek
to be pulverated.
Take a peek, if you seek
to be exterminated.
The book contains stuff not meant for you to see..
So don't just scoff and turn the page with glee.

This diary belongs to Supriya Joshi

19th November, 2002

Dear Diary,
Hi! Watsup? This is my very first diary and I'm gonna write all I can and whatever's on my mind.

Ok, there's this guy I know (let's call him Rambo). He's a really nice guy. Very sweet! I think I'm in love!

But there's another thing. Guess who I saw yesterday? (Instert name of boy I had a crush on forever..let's call him McGumbo)
AAAHHH!!! He was looking soooooooooo hot! But he never looked at me and I never called him also :(. C'mon! I didn't wear proper clothes! I was in my track pants! I looked DUMB! But I miss him...I wanna kiss his lovely lips, hug him. But it's not possible. I'm fat and ugly. GOD! I hate my self-image :(.

Anyways, I got to colour my hair! YIPEEEEEEE! My hair's red now, but it's hardly noticeable. So sad! But at least they're coloured!

Ok diary, I'll see ya tomorrow!

Hugs and kisses,
Supriya


Those were the days, weren't they? Where life revolved around cute guys and you got excited over red hair.

Wait. Not much has changed even today!

To be continued.

Thursday, 9 October, 2008

Blah

I cried today. And no, it wasn't the soft, silent kind, where just a single tear-drop falls from your eyes. It was full on, full blown crying, and that too in public. I've cried like this after a span of two months.

I don't really know why I do the things I do. What's wrong with me? Even when I was crying, I was telling myself, you're an idiot. Am I expecting things to change just because I keep persisting? Do I think everything will be back to what it was just because I keep on doing what I do?

Ok reader, by now you're totally lost, and you don't know what I'm talking about. (But if you do, you need to be applauded). Let me just give you a hint. This relates to the X. 'Nuff said.

I know YOU think I only write negative things about YOU, but this is not negative at all, cause this is not YOUR fault. But if YOU feel bad, sorry.

On a happier note, I'm having pepperoni pizza tonight. Yay! Ok, I know, Pizza isn't exactly health food, but I'm bummed right now and I need junk food in my system. 'Nuff said.

I know I haven't updated in a while, but I will soon! Some surprises are coming soon!

Cheers!