Monday, 29 September 2008

The other 'C' word

Chubby cheeks,
Dimpled chin,
Rosy lips, teeth within,
Curly hair, very fair,
Eyes are blue, lovely too.
Teacher's pet, is that you?
Yes, Yes, Yes!




No! No! No!
That's the thought that comes to my mind everytime I think of this nursery rhyme. You see, as long as I can remember, I have been associated with this song. Let me elaborate:
1. Chubby cheeks : Check.
2. Dimpled chin: Check.
3. Rosy lips: Check.
4. Teeth within: Check.
5. Curly hair: Check.
6. Very fair: Check.
7. Eyes are blue: Let's change blue to brown, ok?
8. Lovely too: Mmm..Check.
9. Teacher's pet, is that you?: Hell no! no! no!
The way I am brings about two reactions from people (usually strangers); either extreme shock/disgust/repulse or at the other end of the spectrum; a feeling of fondness. I have been called names that would send a normal man spiralling into depression (but since I'm used to it, I've gotten stronger and unconcerned). But if there is one word that kills me a little whenever someone calls me that is:
cute.
cute.
cute.
cute.
cute.
CUTE! CUTE! CUTE!
Ahem. Now that that is out of my system, let me explain myself. Ever since I was young, that is the word that has always been associated with me. Aunties/uncles/grannies call me cute, my friends call me cute, heck, even young kids call me cute.
And cute also comes in a package deal, by the way. If you're cute, your cheeks will be pinched by a multitude of people. "Ooooooooh choo cuttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" *pinches cheek violently* If you think about it, isn't cheek pinching/pulling a form of molestation? You violate my personal space by touching me without consent. Think about it. And oh yeah, just to be clear, cheek pinching hurts like a BITCH.
I also consider being called cute an insult. Why can't you call me beautiful or pretty? Please reserve 'cute' for humans below the age of 10. Not 22-year-old women.
So, if you've seen Pamela Anderson's film Barb Wire, where she says "Don't call me babe", just remember...
Don't call me cute.

Saturday, 27 September 2008

40 Things

Know more about me.. (I think? Taken from Pretty Nikki's blog)

[copy paste the questions...answer them very very innovatively & post it on your blog.]

1. Height? 5'8
2. Have you ever done heroin? Nope..I'm straight..Oh wait.
3. Do you own a gun? I am not allowed to.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? I get more nauseous than nervous.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Delicious.
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?? Silent Night..Holy Night..
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Warm water with a twist of lime.
9. Is your bathroom clean? It's clean enough!
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?(or accessory) Chunky necklaces.
11. Do you like painkillers? I used to..eons ago...
12. Do you have A.D.D.? [Attention Deficit Disorder] It's a common misconception amongst people that I may have A.D....*stares at a thumbtack* OOHH! SHINY!!!
13. whats your name? Supah Dupah Iggylicios
14.Middle Name? La La
15. Favorite singer of all time? Aamir Khan (C'mon! Aee, kya bolti tu is classic!)
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: Water, buttermilk, lime juice
17. Current worry? Where will I get a job..?
18. Current hate? Not being able to eat junk food
19. Favorite place to be? My bedroom, buried within my sheets
20. How did you bring in the New Year? Sleep. Snore.
21. Where would you like to go? The African Savannah
22. Do you own slippers? Yup! Pretty Puma ones
23. What shirt are you wearing? None. I'm wearing a sleeveless top
24. Favorite color(s)? All the colours on the rainbow
25. Would you be a pirate? Arr! I already am matey!
26. What songs do you sing in the shower? Classics from Govinda movies (eg. Tu hai totallllllllllllllllllllllllllll...total timepass!)
27. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Skeletor
28. Best bed sheets as a child? were really soft
29. Worst injury you've ever had? Major scraped knee
30. How many TVs do you have in your house? Zwei (Two)
31. Who is your loudest friend? I think I am the loudest of all!
32. Who is your most silent friend? Hmmm..no one
33. Does someone have a crush on you? Hell yes!
34. Do you wish on shooting stars? Every time I manage to see one!
35. What is your favorite book? The Road by Cormac McCarthy
36. What is your favorite candy? Crackle
37. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? Sowwy..I don't intend to marry!
38. What song do you want played at your funeral? Highway to Hell!
39. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
40. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Omg..where's my leg! *after looking at it* Ohh..I have pretty legs!

Monday, 22 September 2008

Goodbye!

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one,
You have been the one for me.




Wednesday, 17 September 2008

The Chronicles of a gym-goer: Day 1

It all started a few weeks back when I was looking at myself in the mirror. Actually looking. I checked myself out from each angle, and I realized, heck, I am not happy with what I am looking at. And I felt something should be done about this.

Now, I am the kind of person who usually forgets about promises of a healthy lifestyle in a matter of seconds. But somehow, something was different this time. My thoughts kept naggig me, and finally, I gave in, and I decided to join the gym.

This would not be my first time, however. Make that the sixth. Yup. I have had five previously failed attempts at gymming, all ending with bed rest. I wanted this time to be different.

The gym smells were so familiar (sweaty t-shirts mixed with disinfectant). A sense of nostalgia hit me, and I felt this time I would be successful.

So the formalities were done. The fees was paid. And I was ready!

While watching some people work out, I was wondering, why is it so hard to loose weight and so easy to gain it? Now I would have to give up all my junk food cravings, all my sandwich binges, and I probably would have to cut down on going out, cause then, I would inadvertantly be stuffing my face with things that are not good for me. -sigh-

So my first day at the gym began and came to an end in half an hour (being my first day, the instructor did not want to make me work out too much). And it felt good.

I just hope this enthusiasm of mine doesn't end! And these blog posts will be testemant to my efforts, and a reminder to myself to keep going. C'mon people. CHEER FOR ME!!

Monday, 8 September 2008

Dhruv

(Note: The following conversation was a mix of Marathi and Hindi, which has magically been converted to English in this blog post)

"What's your name kid?" I asked, whipping out my camera.
"Dhhuuvv..what's that?"
"It's a camera. What's your name again?"
"Dhuuv!" he said, louder this time.
"Dhruv?" I asked again.
"That's what I've been telling you! So that's a camera?"
"Yup!"
"Take my photo," he said, smiling shyly.

"Sure! Why don't you stand next to the window?"
"Is this good?" he asked, standing where I wanted him to, expressionless.
"You're a pro!" I exclaimed, taking several pictures.
"I like how the train goes over water. How does it do that?"
"Well, the train run on tracks, and there are tracks over the water too!"
"You're lying!" his mouth was opened wide.
"Nope! I never lie!" I grinned.
"Is that spit?" he ased, pointing at the silver paint on the window pane.
"No, that's paint. If it were spit, it would be wet. See?" I said, touching the bumpy silver coating.
"Hmm. But what if the paint is wet?" he asked.
"Well, it would stick to your fingers, and then you'd have to wash your hands with soap."
"I wouldn't like to touch wet paint."
"Me neither."
"My mother is calling me. My stop has come."
"Oh! Well it was nice talking to you kid!"
"Can you send me my photos?"
"Sure! But I'd need your address to do that."
"I can't give you my address."
"Why?"



"Because my mom has told me not to talk to strangers."

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Bitch Slap

Warning: Abusive language and violence



Comment.

It's the Bigg Boss!

Some comments I read about the Bigg Boss 2 contestants on their website. These are all true, and hylarious. Read on!

Ahsaan Qureshi

Kick him out if u want to run the show (Yes..because since he is in the show, Endemol loses $2 billion everyday)

Posted by: pooja at : Sep 01, 2008 at 11:31 PM
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S!@!e rahul mahajan se jalana band kar (%^&%$#%$@%@@!!!!)

Posted by: vani at : Sep 01, 2008 at 10:22 PM
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Your comody is very well. I like your comedy.
hope you win this game (I like your comody too)

Posted by: shri at : Aug 30, 2008 at 08:15 PM
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I like him because i like him (Really? Wow!)

Posted by: nadeem at : Aug 30, 2008 at 06:45 PM
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Hai u win my herooooo (hmm....)

Posted by: saket sharma at : Aug 30, 2008 at 11:10 AM
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Hai u will win
saket sharma (HMMM...)

Posted by: saket sharma at : Aug 30, 2008 at 11:09 AM
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Wish u that u will winn
saket sharma (Umm..obsessed much?)

Posted by: saket sharma at : Aug 30, 2008 at 11:08 AM
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1111111 (2222222)

Posted by: 1111111 at : Aug 29, 2008 at 10:42 PM
--


Alina Wadiwalla

Hi, alina this nikhil 21yr old male from new delhi i have been watching you since begining,,i like to say one that you are really beautiful...Atleast for me i really don't know about other's...At last but not the least..If you will be nominated i will give 1000 vote that's for sure...Keep rocking. (1000 votes! This dude is rich!)

Posted by: Nikhil Vaish at : Aug 30, 2008 at 11:20 PM
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I lik bcause u r very gorgeous n smart (But what do you lik? Lollipop ya popsicle?)

Posted by: sivia at : Aug 30, 2008 at 06:55 PM
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This serial is wonderfull serial
i am daily watching the serial i always enjoy (I also like daily serial of Bigg Boss)

Posted by: mohammed suhail at : Aug 30, 2008 at 04:45 PM
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Dont cry like child be brave & sexy u vil win i m with u darling god bless u (Only sexy people can win Bigg Boss. Case in point: Shilpa Shetty and Rahul Roy)

Posted by: mike merchant at : Aug 30, 2008 at 02:35 PM
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Ure kool, lolzz like totally, i guess ure an nri, lolzz so am i, just wanna say, ure the best, oh and ure kinda cute (Lyk, Totally!)

Posted by: Ashe Kapoor at : Aug 30, 2008 at 12:04 AM
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Ashutosh Kaushik

He is a jhakkasssssssssssssssssss among all. He is the only laughter person in all. My best wishes for ashu to make big boss (What's a laughter person?)

Posted by: Varun Mittal at : Sep 02, 2008 at 12:31 PM
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My god he is a typical byaji in the house. I hate him. (Racist Alert! Racist Alert!)

Posted by: Rani at : Sep 02, 2008 at 11:58 AM
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Oye hero mast hai na!
oye don't worry lage rahna! (Oye! Kya comment hai Oye!)

Posted by: paddy at : Aug 31, 2008 at 04:17 AM
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Ashu play cheap game. It directly effect on the image of town. People like u demage the impression of town. Try to improve ur personality. Otherwise u have to do lots struggle for success

Posted by: hema at : Aug 30, 2008 at 01:47 PM
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I really like ashu his language .........Bhaiya....Ossom..And d most important thing he understands people relly well!! Good luck dear!!!!!!!

Posted by: Meghna at : Aug 30, 2008 at 02:32 AM
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Debojit Saha

I hate him,hate him, hate him, hate him , hate him,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
(So, how do you feel about him again?)
Posted by: maadz at : Aug 30, 2008 at 10:24 PM
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Hii your teeths help me in remebring my rabbit teeth they were so cute and you r also cute you should win (Someone get her a carrot please!)

Posted by: avina at : Aug 30, 2008 at 03:44 PM
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Debu i lv u very much......Tomake jittai hobe......Plz.......Amra sobai tomar sathe achi.............(Tu kay bolli?)

Posted by: Sayani Ghosh Dastidar at : Aug 30, 2008 at 12:16 AM
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Sir ap mahan hai ap ka is show me kisi se koi mukabla nahi hai pls is tarah k show me na jae ap pavitra logo me se hai pata hai gana use hi ata hai jisme maa sarasvati ka niwas ho sir pls (Pls sir..PLS!!!)

Posted by: vishal at : Aug 29, 2008 at 03:05 PM
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Jade Goody

Hi i am mandar.I am the big fan of big boss 2. I miss gade goody very much.I wish she will get well soon.And i love big boss 2 (Gade Goody..*snicker*)

Posted by: mandar at : Aug 31, 2008 at 12:10 PM
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Bakvasssssssssssssssssssssssssss (Okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)

Posted by: rahul at : Aug 31, 2008 at 10:47 AM
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Bloody ediot (Her, or you?)

Posted by: rocket at : Aug 29, 2008 at 08:05 PM
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Ketaki Dave

Vote her please shilpa do not vote out her out (Does Shilpa vote people out? I didn't know! Shocking revalation!)

Posted by: arsh at : Aug 30, 2008 at 11:05 PM
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Vote for arara (Arara zindabaad!)

Posted by: arsh at : Aug 30, 2008 at 05:13 PM
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Monica Bedi

100 chuhe khake billi haaj karne challi. Vote her out. (Eeew! Monica eats rats!)

Posted by: Anup at : Sep 02, 2008 at 05:32 PM
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Hey monica i warned you on 28th of august that keep distance between you and rahul but you never. The result you are nominated with rahul. Rahul is very much cleaver like his father. Also he is big ashiq. You are not miss world just play your game. Okey..? Otherwise the public will through you out from this game.

Posted by: satnam singh at : Sep 02, 2008 at 04:30 PM
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You are looking very cool and intelegant lady, be careful from rahul. (Why didn't you listen to him? Oh wait..you can't. There is no access to internet in the Bigg Boss House!)

Posted by: satnam at : Aug 28, 2008 at 05:25 PM
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If you loose then recounting will be done so don't worry. (Sanjubaba! Wohoo!)

Posted by: SANJUBABA at : Sep 02, 2008 at 09:08 AM
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Hello,
my name is jignesh gosai.
i like monicaji.
if you read my msg so plz give me a answer " kya aap mujse saadi karogi "

Posted by: jignesh gosai at : Sep 02, 2008 at 08:50 AM
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Payal Rohatgi

Payal,you are the beautiful of the world.I like all your activities.I want to take you to usa.

Posted by: sanjaya at : Sep 02, 2008 at 02:20 PM
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I want to meet you in personnel.First of all i want to talk with you.I am an engineer in computer science working in a mnc.Please talk with me please my wish is high.

Posted by: sanjaya at : Sep 02, 2008 at 02:16 PM
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She is very beatuful but you have not bater becacused ....... ...............#,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,% (Kya?)

Posted by: Atul kumar sharma at : Sep 02, 2008 at 04:48 PM
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Grat performances, rahul,payal and monica,. ..
but in national channel regularly using "bombay" words by kataki has to be stop, now big boss has to give warning to ketaki try to use 'mumbai' while speaking in big boss (Jai Maharashtra)

Posted by: vrusha at : Aug 30, 2008 at 06:03 PM
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She is dirt in big boss so ugly looker rahul wife is more beautiful thn her (Posted by Rahul's ex-wife)

Posted by: JANVI at : Aug 30, 2008 at 09:53 AM
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Rahul Mahajan

All veiwers of biggboss2 pls do vote for rahul save him he need your help this time

Posted by: nupur at : Sep 02, 2008 at 04:57 PM
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Pls save rahul from alleviation,the true human in the game

Posted by: nupur at : Sep 02, 2008 at 04:55 PM
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Rahul is a true person he has defeated his life but hope all viewers who loves him not leave them defeated in this game show.God bless u

Posted by: nupur at : Sep 02, 2008 at 04:52 PM
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Hi rahul my cell balance was over,so i m sending msgs through net,my request to all viewers of biggboss pls do vote for true person,do vote for rahul

Posted by: nupur at : Sep 02, 2008 at 04:50 PM
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Pls save rahul
pls save rahul
pls save rahul
pls save rahul
pls save rahul
pls save rahul
pls save rahul
pls save rahul

Posted by: rajkamal sharma at : Sep 02, 2008 at 04:24 PM
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Dear all my friends i am send in one day 600 sms please save rahul and send sms rah to 56882
thank you

Posted by: Nilesh Mahajan at : Sep 02, 2008 at 04:11 PM
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If big boss house rahul out then i am not seen big boss season 2 serial i am only seen because rahul in big boss house he is helpfull nature so keep voting now

Posted by: Nilesh Mahajan at : Sep 02, 2008 at 01:24 PM
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Come up all mahajan parivar people keep voteing to rahul mahajan

thank you

Posted by: Nilesh Mahajan at : Sep 02, 2008 at 01:20 PM
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You are boring rahul
tu kuta hai

Posted by: sanjay nirupham at : Sep 02, 2008 at 03:25 PM
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Raja Choudhary

I like that ex husband of sweeta tiwari i hope he was win.

Posted by: chinbirh at : Sep 02, 2008 at 02:47 PM
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Hy raja i am always heat you.Them you heart your wife. But when i see you on bigg boss. My think are change. Now i want you win biggboss. And settle your life. All pupiles know them you love also your wife and your sweet daughter. So we are pray to god and we want you win the biggboss. And your family also. Love you always.

Posted by: sunnymansuri at : Sep 02, 2008 at 09:11 AM
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Sambhavana Seth

Show sexy figure not help you

Posted by: nagasaki at : Sep 02, 2008 at 12:33 AM
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Sambhavna you are such a damn s!@#!!!!!



this is my wish to slap you a lot..

Posted by: Microsoft MVP at : Sep 01, 2008 at 11:26 PM
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Honestly speaking i dont like you.Why you are dancing all the time !!!! There is no reason of your such acts!!!Just be normal.

Posted by: Sahabanu at : Aug 31, 2008 at 03:58 PM
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Zulfi Syed

Julfi yar i like each &every thing abt u yar i like the way u talk u have become my role model in few days . Truthly saying

Posted by: gaurav at : Sep 02, 2008 at 05:01 PM
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Julfi u r rock an u r so genuine person. I saw biggboss1 so i know u r attitued r same as rahul roy who was winner so we know u will win biggboss2.But u have to play safe game beware of sam and wish u best of luck. (He will..He will..ROCK YOU!)

Posted by: ankush at : Sep 02, 2008 at 07:24 AM
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Thank god for decent eye candy on television... (Agreed!)

Posted by: Smita at : Sep 01, 2008 at 11:11 PM