Saturday, 25 September, 2010

These conversations are getting very regular at my house these days. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'm growing old without my knowledge. Feh.

itchy crotch!

Mom: बेटा, तूने क्या सोचा है?
Me: किसके बारे में?
Mom: शादी के बारे में!
Me (sighing): और मुझे शादी के बारे में क्यूँ सोचना है?
Mom: तू बड़ी हो गयी है अब! मैं लड़के देखना शुरू कर रही हूँ.
Me: Laughing hysterically, almost falling off the couch
Mom: हस मत. तू नहीं चाहती किसी सुन्दर से राजकुमार के साथ तेरी शादी हो?
Me: तू कर ले शादी. I'm happy as I am.
Mom: नहीं बेटा, अब दो साल में तेरी शादी करनी है. मैं तेरी प्रोफाइल बना रही हूँ पर.
Me: बना दे...लेकिन मेरी photo ज़रूर डालना.
Mom (pausing): दो साल हैं...तू बिलकुल shape में आ जाएगी! कल से diet शुरू!
Me (slapping my forehead): हे भगवान्! मैं ऐसे इंसान से क्यूँ शादी करूँ जिसके लिए physical appearance ज्यादा ज़रूरी हो?
Mom: It matters
Me: UGH!
Mom: तेरे मामा भी कह रहे थे अब उम्र हो गयी है तेरी...
Me: I'm only 24!!
Mom: जब मैं 24 थी, तू पैदा हो गयी थी...
Me: ..and you're still regretting that decision!

Marriage. Ugh. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. I've never ever seriously thought about being married someday. And now I'm being bombarded with such conversations from various family members and acquaintances. I'm only 24 people! Is that too old for Indian marriage standards?

Sometimes I feel I'm just not built for marriage. I'm lazy, immature, irresponsible - no saasu maa will want me for a bahu (good riddance in my books! ;D) But just in case, by some freak incidence, I do get married in two years, this post would have been completely useless, and I'd probably be deleting it then (in case my to-be saasu ma is net savvy).



H said...

Given your profile's on, I bet your saasu will be net-savvy.
How else will she torment potential bahu-raanis?
Also, I bet these potential bahus will be tall, slim, fair and Convent educated. :D Hahahah I love the Indian concept of a happy marriage.

Sheebz said...

LOL! I know what u mean. Been there done that, rather still going thru that . So all the very best coz once d marriage bug bites d family it sure gets crazy. :)

Iggy said...

@H - Well, since I figure in only two of the saasu's list (tall and fair) I guess I will be out of the running of potential bahus -ray of hope-

@Sheebz - Thanks thanks..I better buy some anti virus for the stupid marriage bug!

moonlite:D said...

hiya, all the best,, that's a common saga for all girls :D
have your days, enjoy n hope for the best..

zephyr said...

okie I love the post... n all the best to u trying to get away from ur family's weird logic as to why u shud be married!

but the funniest thing ever is ur caption for the pic 'itchy crotch'!

HAHAHAHAHA... u just cracked me up at wrk when I was reading ur blog, with everyone around me wondering what's wrong wit me.. :P

Nikita Banerjee said...

Lol...I shouldn't be commenting here actually! I am all happily set to be married and yes, I am 24 too. Tell aunty 2 saal mein koi acha dhoondh ya!

zephyr said...

@nikita: congraaaaaaaaaaaaatulations!! :D
and Iggy I agree with Nikita.. say tht to ur mom :)

G said...

hahaa..can totally relate to this post... same story at every household.. "beta.. shaadi ke baare main kya khayaal hai ... umar ho gayi hai tumhari ab" too bad my brother is in line first, so im spared for now !!
Nicepost...and nice blog..i'm ur first time reader :)

Iggy said...

thanks G! :) welcome to the blog!

Ashok Sahoo said...

LoL 3 more days, u must write part two of this.

Ashok Sahoo said...

LoL, 3 more days, tell us what has happen ever since.