Noir

Standing under the lamp post

Boy, it's dark.

The only light around

Is the light that shines from my heart.

Can you hear me?

Hello?

Hello?

Wait, I'll call you back again.

Walking along the stony footpath

Leeches and maggots and dead flies.

Squelch. Squelch.

Squelch.

The stench of death

Drifting through the air.

I cover my nose

Fruity undertones masking it out.

Beelzebub standing in the corner

Smiling his wicked smile.

Stretches out his hand

He's waiting for me.

I have waited for you for so long

Where have you been?

I've been right here baby

Now let's go eat.

Blah

I don't really know what to write but felt like writing, so I am writing.

You're under no obligations to read this.

But now that you are, tell me something about yourself? What is your name? What do you do? What political party do you support? Does your hobby include juggling midgets? Do you like Chinese food? Do you believe in Global Warming? Do you like water? Bisleri or Aquafina? Do you have a printer? How do you feel when it refuses to print when it runs out of ink you don't even want to use? Do you like taking photographs? How much money do you spend on an average day? Do you like crocs? What is your view on considering "The Simpsons" a religion? Do you own a cell phone? Does it vibrate? Do you like it? Do you think orkut should be renamed whorekut, and facebook renamed slutface? Are you still reading this? Why?

So yeah..don't have anything to say.

Peace out y'all!

Supriya

Confessions of a broken heart

Wikipedia: A broken heart (or heartbreak) is a common metaphor used to describe the intense psychological pain one feels after losing a loved one, through death, divorce, or other means as in breaking up with someone or having your partner move away.



Symptoms:

• A perceived tightness of the chest, similar to an anxiety attack
• Stomach ache and/or loss of appetite
• Partial or complete insomnia
• Anger
• Shock
• Nostalgia
• Apathy (loss of interest)
• Feelings of loneliness
• Feelings of hopelessness and despair
• Loss of self-respect and/or self-esteem
• Medical or psychological illness (e.g. depression)
• Suicidal thoughts (in extreme cases)
• Nausea
• Denial
• Fatigue
• The thousand-yard stare

The title of this blog entry may be a song sung by Lindsay Lohan, but it is also a feeling that I am going through currently.





What happens when you're in love, when you feel like being with the person forever, when you feel like nothing can go wrong -- but everything just falls down?

• You wake up with terrible heart ache, the kind that just wont go away.


• You'll stare at your phone for hours, wondering if he'll leave a message.


• You stare at the wall, mindlessly, blankly..with no thoughts coming to mind.


• You'll cry for hours and hours, till your eyes swell to the size of golf balls, and you can cry no more.


• You'll tell yourself you'll move on, when you know you cant.


• You'll be hopeful that it will all change, that he will tell you he misses you and wants to get back with you.


• You'll think it's just a bad dream, and you are waiting to wake up.


• You'll try to immerse yourself in work, but your attention always goes back to him.


• You'll feel like a part of your soul has been ripped apart, there is a feeling of emptiness.


• You're numb.


• You're lonely.


• You're sad.


• You're just not yourself.

How I wish breaking up was easy. For him, as well as for me.

Wait, if I am wishing for something, why not wish we never broke up at all?

I'm trying to move on. It's truly the hardest thing I've ever done. I wish it didn't happen. But it did..

I can't think of what to write anymore. I wish I knew. I wish.

Read the f****ng post already!

I was talking to my beau a while back, when I came across a startling discovery -- I have begun swearing incessantly!

"Do you realise how much you swear now?" he asked me, and I began pondering over this for a while. It is true, that I mouth a few explicits here and there, but I never considered myself someone who's swearing all the time. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

I guess it all began in 1996 (when I was only 10). My father had rented a certain Hollywood action movie video. I don't remember what the film was, nor do I remember who starred in it. All I can remember is a scene where a man (wearing a plaid shirt, I remember) is running through the woods, and from somewhere, another man shoots him on his leg. He yelps in pain, "F**K!". At the tender age of 10, I had no awareness of what the word meant, and what it's significance was. I was glad though -- my vocabulary had increased with one more word. I would happily mouth the word, till my father, pink-faced, told me I shouldn't. It's a bad word.

Time passed, and I still had no clue about the many explicits that live in the world of ours. I was happy and 'clean', never uttering a 'bad word' from my mouth. However, everything changed when I came to Std. 7, when I came across the rowdiest boys I'd ever know.

I'd be the only girl in the row, surrounded by a bunch of boys. They'd all surround me, and begin their daily duty -- educating me on Hindi gaalis. "Arre yeh bol na (insert explicit here)..Phir se bol?" (insert wild laughter here). I now had a fair idea about the Hindi gaalis, and where to use them.

Time flew some more, and I had more or less forgotten every explicit there was. Then I reached SCM. Like MTV Roadies, to be a member of SCM, it is a pre-requiste to have the choicest explicits on the tip of your tongue, to be used in any circumstance. And there are no limits. Hindi, English, even Bengali..we are well versed in every explicit there is to know. And we've even innovated and brought out new ones.. (CH**ASS, for instance).

Perhaps mouthing explicits is the best stress relief. And I do believe they work! Whenever you're tired or frustrated, scream out the worst explicit you can think of (the more local, the better), and you'd feel better already.

So, coming back to the point I began this blog with, I do believe I've begun swearing a lot. But does that bother me?

No f*****g way!