I was coming home from work yesterday, when the 'auto-wallah-bhaiyya' struck up a conversation with me. This is how it went.
Characters:
Iggy: Me
Auto-wallah-bhaiyya: Him
Setting:
Open roads, no traffic, Iggy is being dropped home by Auto-wallah-bhaiya.
Scene I, Act I:
Iggy: Haan..Aaj chutti hai, is liye (Yeah, today is a holiday, that's why)
A-w-b: Parso itna traffic jam tha, SV road se yahan aane tak Rs 40 lag gaye (The traffic was so bad day-before, It took Rs 40 to come from SV road to this point)
I: Baap re! (OMG!)
A-w-b: {Laughs}
I: {Grins}
A-w-b: Madam, aap filmon me kaam karti ho na? (Madam, you work in movies, don't you?)
I: {Eyes open in shock} Nahi! (No!)
A-w-b: Achcha. Mujhe aisa laga ki maine aapko filmon me dekha hai. (Oh. I thought I had seen you in the movies)
Scene I, Act II:
A-w-b: Arre woh film aati thi na..jisme aap college me the..aap moti si {Cue the fat person arms thing*} Sabki dost banti thi? (That film..in which you were in colege..fat..you used to be everyone's friend)
I: {Excitement dies. Cue depression} Guddi Maruti?
A-w-b: Haaan! Wohi! Aap bilkul waise dikhti ho. (Yes! Her! You look exactly like her)
I: Uhhh...Thank you? {Raise eyebrow here}
Scene I, Act III:
{Awkward pause}
I: Guddi Maruti abhi Buddhi Maruti ho gayi hai (Guddi Maruti is old now)A-w-b: {Laughter}
Fin
Curtains
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*Life Lessons from The Iggylicious:
{sarcasm}What is the fat person arms thing?: During communication, when someone wants to denote that a person is fat, he or she does the fat person arms thing. This is very useful in case the person he or she is communicating with is deaf and cant understand he or she is talking about a fat person.
Example:
John Doe: 'Sup Deaf Bob. Did you hear about Fat Fucker?
Deaf Bob: What? I can't hear you.
John Doe: Fat Fucker, dude!
Deaf Bob: What?
John Doe: (moves his arms like a turkey) FAT FUCKER!
Deaf Bob: Oh! Fat Fucker! Yeah. He's a slutface.
That brings us to an end to this episode of Life Lessons from The Iggylicious.
Go fuck yourself!
{/sarcasm}
