Tuesday 12 May 2009

The Incredible Bulk

My sister, the great PJ, has sent me this hilarious post about anger management. I am still laughing hard! Enjoy! :)

THE INCREDIBLE BULK



Today I, Priyanka Joshi, will be reveling my one and only true identity. Yes, at home or at college you might call me “The girl with the short hair” or “The girl with the average height” or “The girl with the chipped tooth” but that all changes when it comes to me on the road.

The moment I’m stuck in traffic or am being pushed around by discount craving, mall hopping, Sunday shopping women, who just can’t apologize, my true identity is reveled, “The Incredible Bulk”.

The fury starts from my toes and in a flash reaches my cranium and the blood bath begins and the arena is in my head.

A choke slam to the auto wala who just overtook my ride.

A kick to the mid section to the man who is crossing the road in a blur, though any minute now a vehicle will kill him in a second, and yet gloat while going to the other side (I have seen more intelligent chicken).

A punch in the jaw to the sorry excuse of a woman who just can’t stop screaming out to her kids to grab the last bag of discount rajma so that she can fart on their faces the next time they cause trouble.

A knife through the intestine of the auto walas who communicate in 3 ways when you tell them your destination:

1. If the answer is yes then they just stare at you expecting you to understand that the stare means a yes.

2. If the answer is no then nod their head and go away.

3. And the worst of them all, the ones whose answer is no and don't even bother to tell you if they will go. The simply dash away without saying anything, like they are the reincarnation of speed racer himself.

However, since these things can send me to court, leading to imprisonment, 70 years in jail through trial and finally a death sentence I perform these acts in my head. It is a sorry excuse of a life I know. Yet, if you ever find me glaring at you, flaring my nostrils, shaking my head and clenching my jaw you know that you are currently being mutilated.


Hahahah! This was so hilarious! Only two more posts left! :)


11 comments:

The Shmoo said...

LOL! I liked it ^_^
Someone ought to make a movie named 'Autowala must Die' where he does die in the end. Imagine how many non-autowalas will watch that movie over and over again.

Iggy said...

Hehe..Wow that's a good idea!! :)

Nothingman said...

Road Rage feels good. I always ask the name of the autowallah, it fucks them up. LOL

Cheers!

N

Iggy said...

Lol! Why do you ask their names?

Nikki said...

This is like the best! " I have seen more intelligent chicken" This is new and super cool.

Iggy said...

I swear! Man..I should ask Priyanka to write for my blog more often!!!!

Little Girl Lost said...

hilarious iggy :D loved it. and loved your blog. very cool look. take care. do visit...

YABADABADOO said...

Love it PJ... you should write more often. :D Im in splits!

Iggy said...

@Little girl: thank you so much! :) And I will be visiting your blog too!

@Yaba: Same here!! Can't stop laughing!

Rashmi said...

this is so hilarious lolz....joshi ask priyanka to write more plz :) and wat rage i swear i so familarize with this!
Cheers!

Iggy said...

Thanks Rashmi!