The Death of Coherence (1/2)

There are a few things in life I have suddenly become quite adept at. The first of them involves staring at a blank document, and quite easily filling them up with words that suddenly make sense. Mostly it's just long sentences and fancy words, but I now find it quite easy to write a 500 word piece, in maybe, 15 minutes, tops.

I, of course, attribute it to my job. My job requires I write. It also requires I photograph. But mostly, write. So that's what I do when I receive my monthly assignments. I get the topic, I stare at a blank Word document for roughly 10 minutes, and before I know it, I have already finished about 1/3rd of the assignment.

Distractions abound a plenty. Earlier, my number one distraction was Facebook. But as time passed, and after a billion layout changes, I just grew weary of this website. Of course, I will also give credit to the people on my Facebook for my disinterest in the website. You see, the people on my Facebook are, to put it lightly, moronic. Too put it harshly, they are a bunch of buffoons, and I find retarded monkeys more coherent than they are.

My anger stems from the fact that most of these people just do not know how to spell, or construct a sentence that makes sense. To support my 'bunch of buffoons' theory, I present you with the following proof:

1. wer u made all dis stffs?
2. woz dat???
3. If a "HUG" represents how much "I Love You"... I would Hold "YOU" in My Arms "FOREVER"....♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
4. The mst depressed moment in ur life is nt wen u r sad, its wen u hve lots to tell bt u dnt find tht spl 1 to hear u

By now, I'm sure I've lost whatever reading audience I had. I apologize. But put yourselves in my shoes for a bit. This is what is sprinkled all over my timeline. Every day. It's either insane emo-ness, or grammar, and thereof, that leaves me dumbfounded.

I thought of quitting several times, but social networking is a crutch, and it is very difficult to let go. But most importantly, if I quite Facebook, I would never know my friend's birthday. That shit is important.

Since I could not go on any longer on Facebook, I turned to twitter. But more on that in my next post. Till then, stay pretty.

...Did I die?

Hi.

We've gone through this before. This is where I tell you I haven't died, I'm still alive, just been neglecting the blog.

I'm sorry, I really am. I just wish I had something to write about. There was a time when I couldn't go a day without blogging. Now it takes me days to think up a topic, and weeks to actually get down to writing them down. I do have ideas, but I just don't know how to execute them. So many blog posts have gone down the drain because I felt they were extremely useless.

Should I just say goodbye, and let you get on with your lives? Is anyone even waiting for another post from me? I don't know. I do know that I miss you all. Extremely.

Till I see y'all again,

Iggy.

30 Days of Me - Day 4

Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

So here's a photo of my best, and only, friend in the world - R. I've hidden her face cause she isn't to fond of being in the public eye, quite unlike me.

In fact, there is very little R and I have in common. She likes music that makes me cringe, I like music things that make her go WTF. We abuse each other, and share our love for alcohol quite equally. When we are hanging out, you will almost always find us laughing the loudest, telling the crudest stories.

I love R because she gets me like no one else in this world. I can be myself, speak my mind, even fight with her, and she's always going to be by my side. We have had our share of problems, but we've always bounced back from them. Cause we cool like.

Right now, both of us are caught up terribly with work, and find it really hard to keep in touch. But we've never been that 'OMG YOU FORGOT ME!' sort. We cool.

So, so cool.

P.S. Yes, we were both horribly drunk in this photograph. *hic*

30 Days of Me - Day 3

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.

The reason it took me this long to get to this post is, because, I really had to think about it. First dates hold such significance, and to tell you the truth, I have never given this a lot of thought. I am, and always have been, an 'in-the-moment' sort of person, and I enjoy spontaneity.

Regardless, I thought about it, and if my potential future first date is reading this, here's what I would like you to do.

1. Call me up at 4 in the morning. Ask me how I am. Get me confused. Ask me out. I am most likely to say yes.

2. Take me to a place I have never been before. Take me to a place where there are a lot of things, of different kinds.

3. Let me get a chance to know you. Talk to me about your favourite book. Engage in banter.

4. Take me to coffee. Don't speak to me when the food arrives, but look at me.

5. Smile like you mean it. Tell me I am beautiful. Watch me change into 9 different shades of red.

6. Drop me home. Don't expect a kiss. But if I lean in for one, don't hesitate and kiss me.

And that's it. Such a low-maintenance girl I am.

Future date, you don't have to follow this list to the T.

Remember, I like surprises.

30 Days of Me - Day 2

Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.

So here's what I had for dinner today: A Sausage Sizzler. For some reason, I love pronouncing sausage as soo-saa-shuh. I also calls spoons 'shpauns', knives 'knofs' and forks 'fwakes'. Mornonic little quirks like these make the world a better place to live in, I think.

Anyway, so this monstrosity before you is the above-mentioned sizzler. 6 pieces of sausages on a bed of mashed potatoes, french fries and spinach. How glorious. Also, the food was super hot, and I managed to burn my throat, of all places. But the pain was worth it, because the food was good.

And that's it!

30 Days of Me - Day 1

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was

I look nothing like this in reality

So here we are, Day 1 of the 30 days of me challenge. As asked, here is a picture of me. I am not very fond of sharing what I look like to the public domain, but since it's a challenge, why not have some fun with it, eh?

Today was one of those days when I was returning back to work after a two-day holiday. You know that intense laziness that settles in your bones? That is how I felt, waking up to my alarm clock ringing in my ear. When the initial laziness settles in, then strikes the realisation that I have to wake up and go to work. Yawn.

Not that I don't enjoy work. It's just that a holiday means a lot more to a person who doesn't get many.

After that, my day has been pretty much regular. Slept in the bus. Slept in the train. Completed a few pending things at work and then sat there, twiddling my thumbs, thinking about life. For some time now, an intense amount of sadness has fallen over me, like this heavy quilt that just won't let go. When I get these bouts of sadness, I can physically feel my heart sinking to my stomach and I feel this need to cry.

But I don't. I am quite comfortable with this facade of a happy person I have created for myself.

After that I accompanied a friend to a hyper market, because she wanted to buy some groceries. While she went on a cheese rampage, I looked around for things I could buy. I bought some cheese sausages, smoked chicken salami, french fries, pringles, tic tacs, amongst other things. It was fun.

Sometimes I think shopping is the only thing that makes me happy.

Then I returned home. Ate some dinner, and here I am typing this out. Not a bad day, indeed.

If you want to take up this challenge yourself, click HERE.

For the original post, click HERE.

30 Days of Me! *Reposting*

So I was just going through this wonderful blog: http://punkpolkadots.wordpress.com and I came across this challenge, which asks you to dedicatedly post random snippets about yourself for 30 days. And I decided to take up the challenge. Hopefully, this is incentive enough for me to get back to writing on a regular basis. Here are the rules, as stated on the blog!

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favourite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag.
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days

If you want to do this challenge with me, let me know. Also let the original blog poster know! I'm going to start this from tomorrow. You? 

I'm everywhere

Oh hello, fellow bloggers *waves*

Here is where I'll admit - I'm the laziest blogger alive.

Probably the shittiest blogger alive too.

I have about 20 posts lying incomplete, in cold storage, and I find it highly doubtful if I will ever complete them.

I used to be quite frequent with the whole blogging scene, but then something happened.

You know what happened?

Twitter.

And Tumblr.

I find it very difficult to write a cohesive post, when these two websites eat into all my time, and that is excluding the time I am at work, you know, working.

So here's a proposition: If you liked this blog, which is clearly dying, why not give my twitter and tumblr a chance too? I'm twice as funny and awesome there, believe me.

My twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/supaarwoman

My tumblr: http://supaarwoman.tumblr.com/ (This can get a little NSFW sometimes, but hey, we're all pretty much NSFW)

I'm not saying I'm killing this blog, this is very much here.

I just don't know when I will update next.

I love you all a bit too much.

Bye!

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara—Reviewed!

Mili?

So I saw Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (ZNMD) today. If you're expecting me to go on about the value of life and how you must live each day as your last, I'm sorry, that's just not happening. Not right now, at least. I mean I do give spiels about life and how you must cherish it from time to time, but this movie didn't really make me go "OMG I GOTTA DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE!!!1!!!!1111"

After viewing the trailors and listening to the music from the movie, I knew that this movie will garner either of the two reactions from me—absolute hate or absolute love. Absolute hate because I am not really a big Hrithik Roshan fan. Ever since Dhoom 2, I've cringed each time he has opened his mouth to speak, specially in English, with that horrid accent (hey, he even pronounces his name Row-shun and not Raw-shun! Oh well...). In fact, I don't think I have even seen a Hrithik Roshan movie post Dhoom 2.

Absolute love because, well, Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy made me fall in love with the music of this movie. Each track is quite hummable, especially Khwabon ke Parinday and Señorita. Also, the cinematography and the colour scheme of the movie (Quite The Hangover-ish, by the way) looked like a very promising premise. I still went to the movie with a clear and open mind, and decided to judge the movie only once it ended.

I won't spoil the movie for you guys, but the only thing I got out of the viewing experience was the fact that I want, nay, need, to go to Spain. What a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious place! I have been wanting to go there ever since I witnessed my beautiful La Furia Roja defeat The Netherlanders in the FIFA World Cup 2010, and ZNMD just gave me a bonus incentive of sorts. I have even prepared a 'Spain ka Dabba', where part of my salary will go towards saving up for a trip there! Kudos to you, Carlos Catalan, for that fabulous cinematography. The beautiful locales of Spain were made even more breathtaking, thanks to your camerawork. My favourite was how the La Tomatina festival at Buñol was shot. Beautiful.

The editing was great too, specially during the high-adrenaline scenes. Anand Subaya, I swear my heart was in my mouth during the sky diving scene in Seville. Wow, really. And the bull run at Pamplona. Phew. Neato Burrito!

Now, to the acting. Abhay Deol, what is up with that gay demeanour of yours? Not that I have a problem with homosexuals, but were you playing one in the movie? What happened? Apart from that, I like you. Really. I thought you were quite believable. Farhan Akhtar... that voice. Urgh. Like a frog mating with a cheese-grater. The cherry on top of this rancid cake is getting him to read out those poems on a regular interval through the movie. Good idea Zoya Akhtar. Not.

Hrithik left me pleasantly surprised. As mentioned above, not really a fan, but he got through the movie without annoying me once. No accent, not trying too hard, quite sweet, really. Katrina Kaif is beautiful, Kalki Koechlin needs braces, but yeah, overall, good stuff.

I believe the purpose of this movie relates to the title - Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. For me, the purpose was defeated. I got more 'I need to do something with my life' out of The Bucket List (the 2008 comedy-drama starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman) than I did with ZNMD.

So if you ask me how I liked the movie, I'd just go "Meh."

Go ahead, ask me!

Side note: Did you know that Katrina Kaif's introduction scene was shot on a nude beach? She wasn't naked, of course (did I just hear a de-boner?), but I wonder how shooting went that day.

Side Side note: At the theater, during the interval: Mom - "Bobby Deol ki acting kitni achchi hai." (referring to Abhay Deol). Me - "Haan, lekin mujhe Javed Akhtar ki acting achchi nahi lagi."

Do You Remember?

The heart-shaped bed,

and the heart-shaped pillows.

Satiny, silky sheets,

That gave me goosebumps.

Old, dusty curtains,

But beautiful light

Streaming through

As you touched my skin.

Your hands

Your body

Your face

Your lips

On mine.

The taste of oranges

lingering on your tongue

Transferring the taste

Back to mine.

Sweet sorry

and bitter medicines

And sad lessons

Yet, life just goes on.

The End.

Letter to an Ex

I had a dream last night that I had come to Dubai to meet you. You were there, I was there. We spoke for about 10 minutes, when your really large family barged in and you acted as if you did not know me. But your family members knew me. Some girls started to be really bitchy with me and even accused me of stealing something, which I had not. Then you disappeared, and I decided I had to get out of here and go back home.

I looked into my purse to see how much money I had for an air ticket back home, and it turned out I was flat broke. I could not call home, because my parents did not know that I had come to Dubai. I started roaming the streets, very worried. Then I saw you were lying in a puddle of water, and there was no one around you. I came over and I helped you.

The next day, there was a large table where everyone was eating, and you sat next to me. I whispered to you that I needed some money to go back home, and I promise I will pay you back once I'm back home. You weren't paying attention, and I was getting really worried. I put my head on the table, when I felt something touch my hand. I saw you had placed three thousand dirhams under my elbow and then you started playing with my hair. I looked up at you and smiled.

And my dream ended.

Girls

Oh to be you. Just for a day.

There are two kinds of girls in this world—those who take a lot of effort to get noticed by boys, and those who get attention without any effort. I belong to neither of these groups since I make no efforts to get noticed, and whenever I am noticed, it is not for positive reasons. Anyway.

I know these two girls, great friends of mine, who fall in the second category. Men of all kinds fawn over them, and they don't have to do anything to get their attention. Let's call my friends A and B. Ever since I have known A, she has gotten hit on by so many guys, and it seems a little surprising to me, since she is not a flirtatious or 'come-hither' sort of girl. She's shy and sort of an introvert. Yet, guys are just naturally attracted to her. But this comes with drawbacks too, since she has been stalked several times by very creepy guys.

B, on the other hand, is full of life. She's funny, smart and cute. In her case, boys are attracted to her effortless charm. In fact, a friend of mine doesn't even know her and he proclaims he likes her based on her photographs!

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could be them for a day. Even an hour, tops. Though I run the risk of sounding really pathetic here, but I wish I knew what it feels like to get so much attention. The last time someone liked me was back in 2007, which ended in 2008, so if the previous line wasn't pathetic, this surely is.

Ugh.

Ok enough of this sad stuff. In other news, I turned 25 last month *throws streamers*. At the stroke of midnight, I was sitting outside this mall with 3 friends and a guy I just met. I got hugged, got a lot of handshakes and the calls started pouring in. But that moment when the clock struck 12, I was miserable. I cried. The last time I cried on my birthday was 5 years ago when I turned 20. Turning 25 is not so peachy after all. I wonder what will happen to me when I turn 30. *gulp*

Bye now.

Seriously, go!

Of...

Of crushes,

Silly and surreal.

Of meeting for the first time,

And acting like a fool.

Like Medusa's seen you

And being frozen in time.

Of being red faced,

and tongue-tied.

Of not knowing what to say,

Yet wanting to say a hundred different things.

Of abrupt endings,

And cursing yourself

For zoning out for hours,

Thinking what went wrong.

That's basically what today has been.

In a nutshell, of course.

:)

Photo Memories

Working for a photography magazine has certainly made me realise the importance of photo memories, amongst other things. I think the age of film was a great time, because whatever photographs we shot with our cameras, prints were made. Since there was no other way to view our photographs, we relied on prints to view the final results. And now, years later, as I sift through old photographs, I feel that hit of nostalgia again. I am sure you must have also had those moments where, looking at old photographs, you felt all the memories connected to that photograph come back to you. Today, I thought I'd share some photo memories with you.

1. Le Marriage

Growing up, I was extremely fond of dressing up and applying makeup, and my aunt was only too happy to oblige. In this picture, a 4 year old me demurely poses as the bride, while my sister (who, judging by her expression, was quite embarrassed) dressed up as the groom. That doll you see in her hand was the baby. I don't really remember this moment happening, but it always gives us a good chuckle each time we look at it.

2. Le Beach Time

I remember this day so clearly, even today. My cousin had flown down from Scotland, and we were taking him on a Bombay darshan. We visited all the major landmarks, and here we were at Juhu beach. By the looks of it, it seems I was killing fishes, my cousin was just about to join me, and my grandfather just looks happy.

3. Le Family

When we were in Dubai in 1995, my dad decided to have our family portrait shot. All of us dressed up in our best, this strawberry dress was my first ever 'propers' dress, and those red flats were my first girlie footwear. In the excitement of getting a picture clicked, I guess nobody noticed my hemline was lopsided. I like this picture because it frames my family perfectly, and we have never had another family portrait shot after this one time.

So here's my suggestion to you—if you have prints with you, please digitise them. Scan them, take their photos, and what have you, but do store them in a digital form. You won't regret it!

I have a lot of other photo memories, and I wish I could share them all. Do you have some you can share? Let me know! Till then, happy nostalgia!

Vacations?

Remember your last day of school before summer vacations?

The last paper? That intense giddiness you felt while planning the months of nothingness that lay ahead?

Fifteen years ago, that was me in the classroom. I filled supplements after supplements with rubbish. I finished my paper 1 hour before time, my heart racing with each passing minute. That was me, jumping with joy as the bell rang, ending the semester and beckoning the holidays. I was that girl in the school bus, dancing and singing, loosening my tie. Reaching home, jumping on the bed and finally settling down, I would smile and think to myself "life couldn't get any better."

Fifteen years later, it's Summer vacation again. Except this time, I'm not that girl anymore.

P.S. I am thinking of shifting to wordpress or tumblr. Thoughts?

Up With Music!: Week 1

As a means of trying out something new, I present to you my latest venture: Up With Music!

Every Friday, I will recommend 5 songs—they could follow any theme, and they could be any genre.

With every song recommended, I will also embed Youtube links on the song title for you to check out the music. If you like my reccos, let me know! This could be the start of something awesome!

Up With Music! Week 1 Recommendations:

Theme: Mood Music

1. Mood: I am going to stare at the ceiling and zone out.

Song: The Lime Tree by Trevor Hall

Why: Trevor Hall's sublime voice, mixed with slow, rhythmic beats...perfect zone out music.

2. Mood: I'm going to cuddle and make out with my boy/girlfriend now.

Song: My Favourite Book by Stars

Why: Boom boom beats and a smooth voice. What more do you need?

3. Mood: I'm going to punch someone in the face now.

Song: Bodies by Drowning Pool

Why: Super angry music to vent out your frustration to. And a good theme song for when you are punching someone in the face.

4. Mood: I'm going to dance like no one's watching

Song: Via Con Me by Paolo Conte

Why: Wouldn't you dance to something that went "Chips chips chips...du du du du.."?

5. Mood: I'm feeling low and need a mood boost.

Song: Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin

Why: The perfect happy song for whenever you're down!

Hope you enjoy this week's music recommendations! See you next week!

Till then, Up With Music!

Love Letters

So this friend of mine was talking to me about her ex today, about how they were so perfect, and how they wrote each other letters, and how their letters were so wonderful. I got the opportunity to see one letter. sent by the ex to my friend. As I was reading it, I instantly felt my heart getting heavier. Dammit. I thought in my head. That letter was so, well, wonderful, and I couldn't help but think about all those letters my ex and I wrote each other.

You know those letters that just make you SIGH as loud as you can, as you read them with a cheesy smile plastered on your face? That was the kind of letters we wrote each other. As soon as I read my friends' letter, I knew I would go back and peak into my archives. I kept stopping myself... I did not need to see those again. But I did... I read those lines of poetry he wrote me... about the countless times he told me I am beautiful on days I felt I looked like crap... about the times when he apologised for fights... and of course, I don't need to count the times he said he loved me. Then I read our post break-up letters... and I felt myself welling up a bit. I knew immediately I should not have read them.

Love letters are just stupid.

P.S. I dedicate this post to you pixie girl. Everything's gonna be alright :)

2011 is here!

Huzzah! Huzzah and celebrations galore! 2010 marks the end of a crazy ass decade, and 2011 begins another. Happy New Year to all of you beautiful people out there! May the Gods of inspiration always bless you with wondrous blog posts!

As for new year resolutions, I have only one, which I really hope I can stick to - save money!

When "Confessions of A Shopaholic" was written, it was written about me. I have this incessant urge to buy something each time I'm out - whether I need it or not. I started working again since August, and I have wasted so much money, so very uselessly. I decided to do some math and I found out that the money I spent in the last 4 months could have been used for -

1. One iPhone 3Gs OR
2. Canon EF 70-200mm f/4L USM OR Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro USM OR
3. An Apple iPad 64GB - WIFI OR
4. Two Apple iPod Touch 64GB - 4th Generation OR
5. A week long luxurious vacation in Goa.

Really puts things in perspective, no? After the calculation, I sat back stunned. Now it's time for a change! No more spending money on crap unless I absolutely need it. And to make it even more stringent, I'm going to leave my cards at home each time I go out.

What are your new year's resolution?